not knowing how she is feeling makes me crazy..... how is her birthmother?

(I don't tend to alway blog about my feelings about adoption lately, but I thought I would share a few of my feelings of late. )

Not one day goes by without thinking how Julia's birthmother and birthsiblings are doing. I hope she is well, I hope Julia's birthsiblings & family are well too. I bet they are busy with going back to school recently.

These are things on my mind every day. I know they are not far away from us, but not seeing them in person lately brings back the thoughts of wondering how are they doing.

I know they think of Julia every day. We think of them every day. These thoughts are a normal part of our lives and I want to share these thought with others that have adopted or are considering adopting and having an open adoption. These ARE normal thoughts and feelings. It is ok to feel this way. I say it is ok to express your concerns on how they are doing if you feel ok to do so out loud or as in here, on a blog.

Sometimes I stop to think if they are eating dinner at the same time we are or if they are out playing at the same time we are. We don't have a direct way to contact them unless we show up unannounced. I won't do that. Sorry, but I don't like it when others drop in unexpected so therefore I just won't do that to her birthfamily either. We have a mutual contact that takes our messages that we have called and passes that message to J's birthmom, but generally we don't hear back for a few days or weeks. This is the case right now. DH left a message with our mutual friend and we have not heard back this time around from either her nor J's birthmom. We have learned over time that this is ok not having a call back the same day or the next, etc.... We leave the choice to call back in her court to make that next move. We know we might not hear from her for a while. The only part of this right now is that this past weekend I sent out invitations for J's first birthday party and sent one to both the mutual friends family and J's birthfamily too. We did not ask for RSVP's, instead we asked for regrets only. Now I wish I had put RSVP's on there. LOL, it sure would help relieve some stress! bahahaha, poor planning on my part. lesson learned for next year. ha

This invitation brings about more thoughts too. Will we get a call / voice mail one day here soon that says her birthfamily won't make it to the party or will we hear that they will come or will we hear from them at all? We will offer a ride to them. We can easily pick them up and bring them back home, or will they decline because they don't wish to be around our family (who are virtual strangers to them since they have only met my mom and DH's mom, although I do talk abou tthem in our letters to her) or is it too hard to be around all of us? These are things I will have on my mind for the next few weeks in prep for her party. I have a good feeling we will get answers to my thoughts and questions in due time, but it seems life for me rules right on the line of that last second basket being made from center court to win the game.... nail biter. Does that make sense.

Do any of you out there have an open adoption relationship to where you have invited your child's birthfamily to the party? How did it turn out if they did come? Or did you do a seperate date to have a more private party with the birthfamily? I thought of offering to have a get together with them later that night after her party at a restaurant or something... maybe that might work? I also want them to know J needs NO GIFTS... them being there is the gift! Them being able to play and interact and smile and laugh out loud is the GIFT from them! That is all we ever need to keep us on that high we feel after each visit. It makes my heart warm when we all give hugs to each other and share fun stories and ask about the kids school day, etc....

Since Julia's birthday is coming up,DH put together a homemade invitation... Elmo is the theme. I can't wait to decorate (we are having the party at my sisters because her sq footage is about double ours in our City houses. I even got an Elmo pinata. FUN. I gotta find some good snacks for the younger children for that one. Grandma and my sis also found another pinata in the shape of the number 1 so we will fill both .. one for small kids with pull string door and the other for the bigger kids (nieces and nephews) to hit with the baton. I am going to have to pay someone to take photos as I will be so busy with the kids and events.

How did your first birthday party go for your first child? Were you nervous? did you enjoy? WHat party favors did you have for both younger children and older nieces and nephews etc...??

Cupcakes or should buy a sheet cake and a small cake for Julia? *Elmo theme of course*.. yes, we will do a more princess or not so gender neutral party next year. hehe. I can't help if the girl loves elmo, actually I feed her addiction by buying her toys modeled after ELmo. hehe



I thank the Lord every moment for Julia's birthmother and her decision to bring Julia into this world and selecting us to become her parents for the rest of all of our lives.

Fall times brings us to baby resale events . Kid Mania's . Baby Mania's...deals and free items too

Ok, so far these are the events I have listed. IF YOU KNOW OF ANY OTHER SALES IN AND AROUND ST. LOUIS, PLEASE EMAIL ME OR POST TO ME and how to get ahold of you for details. I so need a wagon, clothes, shoes and games for her to play (I'll start looking hard for these items after her birthday party on the 27th. shaking my head, I still can't believe she is going to be 1 year old.

Mehlville High School Baby mania sale (outside) on October 4th 2008. : this is what the craigslist ad said:
Upcoming Baby Mania Sales
The dates for Baby Mania have been set. The fall sale will be October 4th and the Spring 2009 sale will be May 2nd!!!
http://www.mehlville-moms-club.org/

The Mother Of Twins Club sale is Saturday September 27 open to the public for a 1.00 entrance fee from 1 - 3 pm. BOOOHIIIISSSSSS, I can't go to this sale this year. BUT for a good reason. We will be celebrating Julia's first Birthday party on her Birthday that day. YEAH!

next :
HUGE Kids & Baby Consignment Sale - RE-SALE EVENT!
Price: Free

Street address: 1420 S. Sappington Rd, Crestwood, 63126 View map
Location: St. Louis
Date Listed: Aug-16-08

HUGE Kids & Baby Consignment Sale - Resale Event!

**** NOW REGISTERING SELLERS - all are welcome! ****

LOCATION:
St. Elizabeth’s Gym
1420 S. Sappington Rd., Crestwood, MO 63126
(2 blocks north of Crestwood Plaza)

DATE:
Saturday, September 27th, 8:00am - 5:00pm
Sunday, September 28th, 8:30am - 12:30pm (since I can't go Saturday, I bet I'll find a way to go Sunday!
(most items 50% off on Sunday!)

FREE ADMISSION TO SHOP!
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT BARGAINS YOU MAY FIND!
1000’s of Gently Used, Quality Items for KIDS: Kids Clothing Sizes Newborn - Size 16 * Baby gear * TOYS, TOYS, TOYS! * Costumes * Outdoor Toys * Dancewear * Shoes Puzzles & Board Games * Videos & DVD's * Sports equipment * Strollers * Books * Bikes & Scooters * Crib & Youth bedding Wagons * Maternity Clothes * Electronic toys * Kids Room Decor

WANT ACCESS TO THE BEST BARGAINS?? Volunteers SHOP FIRST!
Volunteers and Consignors shop at a private presale the night before the sale opens to the public! New volunteers and consignors are always welcome!

FOR MORE INFO: www.StorkLady.net




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OMG.. I can't wait to show you the "alley" finds my sister called me about tonight. A daycare was cleaning out their old playground items and they setit all out by the dumpster so we swarmed and took what we thought was usable. My sister knows one of the guys putting the stuff out so maybe in the future we can just show up and take the items down for them for free for us to have for free!!

something similar to this...
http://www.littletikes.com/toys/endless-adventures-slide-hide-tower.aspx?Ne=5&N=26+13


oh and I found this slide on the curb by my sisters neighborhood. A little tikes slide like this one. http://www.littletikes.com/toys/Image-Zoom.aspx?ProductID=2660&MediaID=JPD4574F_OL.jpg&BackupImage=productimages/full/JPD4574F_full.jpg

then my sister found this coupe car in the alley next to me.. (These items are not trashed at all: http://www.littletikes.com/toys/cozy-coupe-ii-car.aspx?Ne=1&N=26+140

Sweet Sunday Snacks / lunch, weekend update

This was Julia's Sunday lunch.

She loves it when I cut her grilled cheese into the shape of a butterfly(basically she hates the crust). We got this cookie cutter at her friends' first Birthday party back a few months ago. I started doing the shape cut out a few weeks back and we have not looked back since then. See how a simple cookie cutter can spruce up lunch and excite the little one? Aside of her grilled butterfly cheese sandwich is cut up grapes and cut up watermelon. She LURRVVSSSS her watermelon too.


I took off work Friday so that Julia and I could visit Shaw's Garden, or you might know it as Mo Botanical Gardens (sorry, but I have to say that I grew up 3 blocks away from MO BOT Gardens and we did not call it that, we called it Shaw's Garden). It was an overcast day, a little cool, but a great day. I Had not been there for about 10 years so I am glad I went. K and her twins V & A met us there. We had a great time viewing all the Niki sculptures and playing on/in them (the ones you are allowed to play on). Then we headed to the Children's play area. What a great place. I know I will go back in the warmer months so that Julia can play in the water fountains. K and the girls had to leave so J and I walked down around the Japanese Garden and fed some bread to the carp / coy fish.



I must say that the Japanese Garden is now the proud owner of a (green color) Soothie binky complements of Julia. Bahahahaha.. no, it was not fun at the time because Julia was having a fit because she did not have her binky to help her fall asleep, but it is funny to think that we are most likely not the first mom and daughter / child to lose a binky to the beautiful lush greenery that lines the path to the beautiful japanese garden bridge and zen garden.


here is a picture with J and her two friends V & A


Julia turns 1 in a few weeks time and I just cherish each moment with her. I love it when she says momma or dadda when looking for us. She points to the birds in the sky. She points to nearly everything and we say what it is and sometimes she tries to say that word. She has such a great memory. Such curiosity. Such love. I am so thankful for her in our lives and her birthmother's decision to bring her into this world and asking us to become Julia's parents. We thank her each day by saying hello to her picture on the wall near her changing table. We say hello to her birth siblings who also have pictures on her wall along with her birthgrandmother. I miss them. I hope we hear form them soon.

What do you pay for milk?

Julia is on cows milk. Whole/Vit D. These are the prices I have found lately

Schnucks (depends on the store) usually $4.00

Shop-n-Save $4.03 (as of last night)

Target $3.79 (just raised prices from 3.59)

Quick Trip $3.49

so Quick Trip gets my business.


What are you paying (Whole/2%?)and where are you buying it? I know everyone drinks different grades of milk, but we are instructed to buy whole milk for her to drink. I hardly ever drink milk so DH drinks the whole milk also.

Sweet Summertime at Suson Park

FIRST OFF, I sure hope the folks in LA and MS have gotten out of the path of Hurricane Gustov. My work has policies written in these areas and are again in 3 years time taking a major hurricane damage hit. You can't stop mother nature. I hope people took the mayors suggestions and got out of town.

Onto a good Saturday report from this weekend.

What a great FREE attraction in the Greater St. Louis area to go to. Suson Park was our destination on Saturday. DH was out of town for the memorial service for his Great Uncle that went to heaven this past week so Julia and I took off out of the house on Saturday and went to a few yard sales (she really loves looking at toys now, but we did not buy any big toys, but good clothes bargains and lots of books that were new! ). Suson Park has a new playground, but honestly it was too crowded so we stuck to visiting the animals instead. Julia just loved it.

First was a visit to the mini ponies (warning, they do BITE like the sings say, just ask my purse hanging off the stroller handle):


then she took a fascination with Tom Turkey (that is what we decided to name him):



Then she got a nice close up of the goats and sheep. One goat kept coming up to the fence and wanting to be fed (but you can't do that at Suson Park).



Julia was so cute with the Mule in the stables (and cows too), but this one really got her fancy. She kept turning around at me and giving me a HUGE smile like she was so pleased to have this Mule in her vison. She kept talking to him, pointing to him and saying something like "go".... (this is her camera ham smile too. Nice snaggletooth, huh? ):

Happy 11 month Birthday Julia

New words:

Ball (clearly now)
HOT! (I say this when cooling her food off and when she gets near the
stove)
Hello (been working on this one pretty hard)
ruff ruff (she does this now when she sees a dog passing by or hears one
barking off in the distance)
Dada (she says this now after working on it for a long time. DH is pretty
proud she says it when she is looking for him now)
Another word we think she is saying is "Purdy",, who is my sisters dog. If
not Purdy then she is saying "Pretty". We are trying to figure that one
out. When she sees me wearing earrings or a necklace and points to it , I
always say "Pretty", so maybe that is what she is saying.
She loves to point at everything. I then say what I think she is pointing
at and ask her to repeat the word.

Her favorite toy right now is the see & say. I have one with the Lion King
characters on it and also another one that has a duck, dog, cat, cow,
etc... on it and when I say "Julia, point to the duck", she will point to
it. This is so much fun to see how much she is absorbing and learning now.


Boooboooo's this week. YOUCH.

Sunday she was outside with Dh and I while I was vac'in the car out of dog
hair from a camping trip we went on. Julia and DH were playing roll the
ball back and forth (on the concrete) and she took a face dive forward
trying to pick up the ball. She has a nice scrape on her forehead now. I
then suggested DH take her over into the grass. hehe

She is growing a black eye. Later on Sunday evening, while DH and I were
sitting watching the closing ceremonies of the Olympics, she tried to step
past Dh's foot and didn't do so well. She did a face plant on the wood
floor with her nose taking the brunt of the fall. She now has a shadow of a
black eye creeping from the nose where it meets the eye socket. Youch. The
worst part of it for us was trying to get her to take a breath after she
fell. I hate trying to watch her cry so hard and not take a breath for what
feels like a whole minute and her looking at you like "Help me momma".

This week she started walking over to me (walking has been going on for
nearly 3 weeks now) and she grabs my leg and HUGS it. So sweet.
If she is playing in the living room, we walk near her and tell her we are
going to her her "I'm going to get you", she turns around and nearly runs
over to the couch trying to get away from us and is laughing so hard with
excitement that it cracks us all up.

....

Swimming lessons.

My SIL and niece are going to take a swimming lesson session with us. The
local YMCA (South City) has a new session for Saturday mornings starting in
early September. I know we will miss a few sessions with camping and her
birthday party, but I can't wait to get her started. She knows how to kick
when we are holding her in the pool, but we need to get her use to dipping
under the water and floating on her back. I can't wait to get in to the
pool with her and start the lessons. I have been swimming since I was 6
months old (my mom has a picture of me in the pool when I was that old)
with water wings until I was 2 and then I was on my own after that. We have
always had a swimming pool in my backyard so it was important to my parents
that I learn to swim at the earliest age possible. I want to do the same
with Julia. She won't let me put the wings on her arms yet so I need to
really work with her this winter in the big ymca pool. I want her to enjoy
the water, unlike some of my relatives and neighbors that won't set foot in
water outside of a shower!

First Birthday party prep
I have some of the party decorations for Julia's first Birthday party ready
to go. I bought an elmo pinata (pull string). Now I just need to buy some
of the snacks / fun toys to go in the pinata for the young kids to have.
Any ideas?
DH made the invitation on the computer at home and it is so cute. I'll try
and get a picture of it later.

just because

I love these two wonderful people in my life!

our zoo rocks!

I can't wait to go to the zoo again. I remember going there at least 3-5 times a month when I was a kid with either a school field trip or always in the summer with my grandma and aunts

ok, that is it, I give up.... summer colds are horrible

yet again I am dealing with the loverly summer head cold. Sinus pressure so much so that I think I could use a straight pin and pop my sinus cavity and make me fly away from all that pressure in there like a hot air balloon. Crazy painful. My teeth feel as though they are being jolted into my upper gums and coming out my upper cheeks. One nostril is closed with congestion and the other running to go catch the next greyhound buss out of town for the ongoing snot convention. Every time I cough or sneeze, my daughter jumps and turns towards me with a look of disgust that I disturbed her much needed play time tonight. Ha. Dh has some of the zicam swabs so I grabbed one when I got home, read the instructions (yes, unlike some men I know who won't read them) and in 5 minutes my previously wall of china closed off breathing pathway opened right up as if it were letting hundreds of gallons of fresh air in for a party. My throat, we will see how that feels in the morning after I get a few winks and my snoring causes my throat to swell. I am going to do another zicam now before bed. Between the zicam, ambien, and yummy ice cream I am about to eat, I hope to sleep tight

but she makes me feel so much better too.....


Sorry for the fuzzy photo, but she kept leaning in towards me when she was cracking this big smile, like she does every time I get the camera out. BIG camera HAM she is.

I promise to get a short video of her walking. She is taking between 15-20 steps at a time now and usually does this when she is playing with her toys not really paying attention to herself walking. LOL

first it went 1..2... plop... then this week 2..3...4... plop

can you guess what that represents? 1...2... plop then this week 2...3...4.. plop and giggle and clapping for herself.

That would be my little beautiful daughter taking her first stride steps. She got up to 1...2...3...4....5.....6....plop today while grandma was watching her all day. I love it.

I'll try my hardest to get some video of that to post soon. Heck, by time I unload all the pictures of her trying to walk and recharge the battery, I'll have missed her first FULL walk hands free across the living room. As least this past weekend we really worked with her on the floor to try and build up that leg strength to take more than 2 steps and it has paid off.

She now barks with the dogs
She now runs away from daddy when he says he is going to come tickle her. she runs towards me (holding onto the couch) as fast as she can and giggles up a storm.

I LOVE THIS.

busy weekend ahead.. (maybe some yard sale shopping in the wee early AM while J sleeps in with Daddy). BIL's teamster picnic, that should be fun if it does not rain. BBQ and Swim pool.

Saturday night is dinner out with our friends who miss seeing us, (no really they admit they miss seeing J more so... hehe).

Sunday is a bbq at another local mom after IF family and more friends .. Hope to have several kiddos there for J to play with.

I wish I could take J out to Festival of the Little Hills in St. Charles MO... I was so looking forward to that this weekend but we could not pass up these other plans today. I should have begged DH to go with me tonight (Friday night) instead. oh well!

two for tea .. tea for two... or at least teeth

Ok, before you roll your eyes at just another mother posting her daughters first teeth, but I waited for a long long many years since my first ectopic pgcy in July 1999 to boast about this.


I know, I can't manage to take a good picture of my daughters two bottom teeth, but here they are so far. She has 3 teeth so far and is insisting on grinding them together. Oh that hurts my ears like fingers down a chalk board.

Enjoying too much tv

Man, I love the Olympics, but dang it takes up so much of my time. Bahahaha. No, I am not neglecting my child. I have several hours a night after she goes to sleep that I am awake (thanks to the insomniac I am) to catch up on my tivo'd hours of the Olympics. Big Brother is also on that tivo list!

GO USA!

Phelps ROCKS.

GO USA!

I must ask though.. Don't you think that smog in the air plays havoc on the athletes games

Freaky Friday Foto

I was at an adoption support group meeting last night and when left there, This was the photo that showed up on my first text message to read.

Now THAT is a face to love. hehe

My niece of 15 yrs old spread a little chocolate Syrup on her tray that evening while watching her until DH go there. Julia didn't eat but a little taste of it, instead she did some much loved Finger Painting all over the tray and herself. bahahahaha

Thankful Thursday

My Thankful Thursday Thirteen
1) My husband
2) my daughter
3) our famlies
4) Julia's birthmother and birthsiblings, birth family who made this all possible for us to become the parents we are so enjoying being.
5) our jobs (which will be changing eventually for DH, but still glad he has a job)
6) our friends online and locally
7) our doggies (they are so good with our daughter even when she pulls their hair
8) my sister for babysitting J full time now!!!
9) Our adoption support group in town. WOW, tears were flowing with Joy for others last night
10) Friends that "GET IT"
11) DH's drive to get his degree in school
12) having the ability to deal with ignorant "well now that you adopted, you'll get pregant" comments
13) My HUSBAND and DAUGHTER (see pic)



(I did get tagged with an award so I'll do blog that tonight, FUN)

some of the rewards of becoming a parent. Milestones

A few weeks ago we finally have J's birth certificate (thanks to DH for his hard work). We finalized in April so it took a while longer than expected.

He got the birth certificate, after we paid our final bill to the adoption lawyer, and he immediately went to the SSA office and applied for J's new social security card.

We got her ss card in the mail this past week so we went to the bank on Saturday and opened J's first bank savings account. YEAH. Fun. I took the cash out of her piggy bank and we used that to open her account.

We bought J her first tooth brush and tooth paste. I took about 10 minutes tonight to show her how I brush my teeth and she immediately took her brush and rubbed it on her TWO NEW teeth on the bottom gum. LOL (yes, she did get two teeth a few months back on the bottom that were coming out all wonky wrong, but they went back in and are now back out through the gum like normal. YEAH).

I saw J take a full step yesterday. We went to a party at our friends house and were playing in a washers tournament. While Daddy was pitching his washers I turned around to watch J. She took one foot and put it in front of the other while standing and then lifted her other foot and moved it out another step. Previously she was only taking 1 foot forward and then plopping down to the ground. This time she did both feet and just stood there. FUN.

I must watch her in the cart at the store now. Tonight we went to the local retail store to pick up some sundries. I had pushed the cart (with J strapped in) to the right side of the isle while I was looking at some dental floss. I turned back around to find her grabbing for some hand lotion on the shelf right next to her. I forgot she could reach out so far. I know one day she will be that kid reaching for the candy in the check out lane, right? I'll be saying "No, J, you can't have that kit-kat bar!" (then I will hear her throw a fit, right?)

I could swear I heard her say "Hannah" tonight. Hannah is our blond lab mix dog. It was more like "HanHan" coming from J, but she had also pointed her finger right at Hannah so that made me believe she is trying to say her name.

these milestones, my friends, are what we have all been waiting for since the day we were ttc!

The Best Playgrounds / kids water parks in St. Louis?

Ladies, mommies... Come help me build a list of local parks that have great playgrounds for the kids and also parks that might have water spout / sprinkler features.... I want to take Julia on a Sunday park tour for the next month or so and find new places she will love climbing around in / on / and getting wet at.


My pick so far is DesPeres Park at Ballas and Manchester. 2 Great playgounds and a water sprinkler pole!!!!! (hint, the timer for the water pole is just inside the bathroom gate on the wall between the mens and ladies bathroom doors. 15 minutes of fun time before you have to turn the dial again. Thanks to Boris & Jen for letting us know that. They are working on rebuilding the parks fishing pond, but I hope they have it done soon. I'll try to keep you posted on that one.

Where is your favorite park to play?

location:
city:
suggested age of play:
what type of equipment is there?
water sprinklers?


Oh and I forgot to mention... we would like to find parks that are FREE... but if you so think there is a good price for another type of play time then please do share that and let us know how much it costs to get in per person.

OMG.. look at these sweet hallmark ornament give aways....

I love me new ornaments so I just had to enter.

over at gotcha baby check out these 4 ornaments so far this week:
today: Horton Hears who

yesterday: Christmas in July : living on baby time

Tuesday: Christmas in July : Inspi(red)

Monday: Christmas In July

gogurt is her new love

I bought some gogurt on sale two weeks ago (with coupon!) and fed one of them to J that night. She liked it, but was frustrated I had to help her with it. Too messy for a 9.5 month old to feed to herself. I put it in the freezer and decided that I would try and feed them to her like that. She loved them even more! Last night and tonight I have fed her one whole stick of frozen gogurt. She will let me feed them to her too without fuss. This is so fun because she sits on the kitchen floor and gets upset I can't feed it to her fast enough. I guess she does not want to hold the stick because it is so cold on her little hands, but she sure loves it on her gums.

Speaking of her gums. Those teeth are going crazy on her. She now has 3 teeth all the way through the gums. Her two bottom teeth that were coming out all wrong a few weeks back went back in and are now broke through the gums coming up the correct way. Ahhhhh. Glad that those two did not come out pointing to the bottom front lip like they were trying to. Then she has one more up top that is through the gum also. It is her second tooth over, not her front like I thought would come in first. Crazy.
I am just glad she is so little that she won't remember the pain it causes when those teeth break through the gums. OUCH, poor little girl. I know all you moms out there understand this feeling where you are helpless in fighting the pain except for orajel or teething tablets or the typical oral pain meds your doc allows you to use on them.
I felt helpless the other night after a round of teething tablets, tylenol and later dimatap for her cold as she was still crying. She did not want to drink her milk from the bottle because it hurt her to suck and then it hurt her to have her binkie in her mouth too. I gave her the frozen teething ring and that seemed to help a big for about 10 minutes and then the crying started in again. Ouuwwwieeeeee. I wish mommy could make it all better with the snap of a finger.

The other night we got into the swim pool and she had a blast in there. I can't find a swim lesson schedule online for the local YMCA .. I must not be looking in the right section of their web page to find that schedule so I could book a class for her. Anyone take swim lessons at the new YMCA on Sublette?

Happy 10 month Birthday my baby girl..thinking of her birthmother too

This morning I woke up early at 5:30 am and fed the doggies. I did not want to wake our little princess, Julia, instead I let her sleep in. Well that lasted about another 25 minutes or so. LOL. I think she has a built in alarm clock sometimes that follows her from her normal weekday routine into Saturday and Sunday's when we are home. As I type this at 8:19 am, she is sleep in daddy's arms while they sit on the couch and DH watches Meet-the-Press with the Democratic Presidential candidate.

When Julia first got up this morning she and I went back into our bed and she promptly woke her daddy up by calling "Dada" and hitting him on the back. He rolled over and snuggled with her for a few minutes. I said, "Happy 10th month Birthday Julia". He looked at me and said, "I still sometimes can't believe I am a daddy". So sweet. It is really a blessing that we have her in our lives and she has completed our desire to become parents. All thanks given to her birthmother for making this possible. (And our friend C that put us in contact with Julia's birthmother.)

Speaking of her birthmother, I hope she is doing ok today. I wonder if these little monthly birthday reminders make her hurt (emotionally), or do they make her happy knowing she placed Julia with us? I sure hope it makes her happy. In fact, she has told us she is so lucky to have us in her life to have an open adoption relationship. She always promptly gives us a hug when we see each other in person and always whispers "Thank you" in our ears! That melts my heart. I know we have offered for her to see a counselor, but she has not taken us up on the offer and I don't push it every time we see her. I tell her I am so proud of her and so thankful for her in our lives and we can't wait until the next time we see her and her two kiddo's. (J's half birthsister and birthbrother.). I don't have a direct way to get in contact with H so we have to go through mutual friends to get a gathering set up. I do know where she lives, but I feel as though I am intruding in on her life if we just drop by. I do keep writing my letters and gathering pictures together to give to her each time we have a "family" meeting. She is always so thankful for them and this last time I gave her the envelope, I did ask her to open it to view the pictures and share them with everyone, but I told her to read the letter later if she rather not read it at that time out loud. She put the letter in her pocket and then sat with J's birthsister and they had a blast looking at the pictures. I usually give them between 15-25 pictures with each of her letters. These average about 1 letter every 3-4 months.

This brings me to a article I read recently on the adoptive Families website. I wanted to share this link with you so you could get a perspective of just a few emotions a birthmother can go through before and after birth.
It is called, "When Birthmoms Get the Blues"
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1742

I always think of H and her feelings, especially just after we have all met up in person. I say a prayer that she may feel at peace with her decision to have placed J with us and that she is able to use this peace to boost her self-esteem and keep moving forward no matter how tough it can get. She is busy with her children, but I know she is always thinking of J also.

How have you dealt with your child's birthmother/parents contact and emotions after having adopted? Do you send letters & pictures to the agency? Or do you see them in person and give them the letters and pics then?


this as last week when we went to the zoo. Daddy made her a Build-a-Bear Leopard, but she was fast asleep through the whole thing. LOL

This was a few days ago when she was trying to help me fold clothes. The only way I could keep her from pulling the clothes out of the basket and onto the floor was to put her in there with the clothes. She loved it. Reminds me of when I was a youngster and we used laundry baskets to slide down the 3 story house steps we had. Oh boy, I hope she never tries that in a laundry basket.

twitter is tweeked out... what up wid dat?

is twitter tweeking out on you too? Not good. I lost a few I am following too and now it is slow and "over capacity" .. LOL

Ok, no matter anyway because I am out go to set up for this here yard sale tomorrow. Fun. NOT.

oh my poor baby girl. I love her so no matter how cranky she is!

tonight we confirmed that she has resurfaced one of her bottom two front teeth again. Yes again. This post back in May about her teeth coming in forward makes me wonder now long this has been in progress to pop back up through the gums and not forward like they had been. DH and I actually saw her two bottom teeth coming out forward through her lower gum out towards her lower lip. Straight out. Well, in a few weeks after I posted that, those teeth had regressed into the gums again and must have worked their way to a normal appearance up through the gums like normal kids experience, still painfully so. So tonight confirms that one of those two teeth have popped through the gums growing up towards the upper gum like they should be. So officially right now she has 2 teeth IN her mouth popped through. One upper second spot tooth on her right side and one lower gum first tooth on the left side. SWEET. No wonder the poor girl has been a snot nosed whining sweetheart of a dream daughter! No, I don't complain about this process like most, I am so enjoying the growth spurts she is going through and these bring her much closer to us because she becomes more clingy to us while this happens. Tonight she got a 6 oz bottle, sucked that down dry so DH gave her another 4 oz and she drank 3 of that so the little piggy growing girl had 9 oz before bed! Yeah. Normally she does 4 6oz bottle through the day. But this shows she is growing so much now and needs that little extra in her tummy to get through the night.

As I type this out, she sleeps in her crib behind a shut door to make it very dark in there. She sleeps on her front of her knees/legs with butt hiked way up in the air and her head turned to one side while most of her torso weight bares down on her shoulders with hands wrapped tight smashed between the crib mattress and her chest wall. She insists on holding her blanket. Such a sweetheart when she sleeps. She is a little restless tonight due to the couch she has, but is getting a good fair amount of sleep.

gotta work on finding a replacement blanket for her green one she has. I'll post a picture of it later this weekend.


IT IS YARD SALE TIME... Email me through this blog and I'll tell you what the address is if you are interested. Infant, baby - teen-adult clothes, some furniture, some electronics, some jewelry (my sister is bringing that) and some home made crafts from my mom for baby items and misc things.


I'll post later this weekend with how the yard sale goes. Please pray for NO RAIN saturday from 7-12.

sorry 2 b late w/my wordless wednesday

dealing w/ a cold infested little girl who has somewhere between 3-5 teeth trying 2 pop through right now. the poor girl hates me because I tricked her into taking her grape flavored dimeatap cold and cough dose tonight. LOL

Here is a picture for Wordless Wednesday that I just love. We were at our friends house this past weekend and she wanted to keep playing with this coupe car, but she kept sliding down through the seat to the floor. LOL I have to find her one of these coupe cars.



I just love this picture. This proves she will be walking very soon and one day will be very athletic or a gymnast. I can't stop her from climbing on her toys.

great weekend for friends & family time, oh and yard sale finds

Saturday morning Julia and I set out to meet our friends and their children (all from the local infertility support group) for a play date at Des Peres Park. Just before that we hit a few yard sales on the way and these are the great bargains we found....
Fisher Price Bounce and Spin Zebra


and the Little Tikes Alligator Piano.



both for a total bargain price of 10.00 (yes, that is 5 bucks each. ) not a single thing wrong with them and Julia loves them both so far. Might drive DH crazy with the panio, but he is the one that changed the batteries in the gator piano and got it working so I'll lay the blame on him. ha. \


we got to the park and had a blast playing with her friends.
we then went to our friends house that we played with their two daughters and enjoyed some holding time for the twins of our other friends. I wish I had more hands (daddy's ) help with Julia or else I'd have gotten more of the twins (H & J are just a few months old now and I really wanted to hold them). I got some clothes for Julia and they are so cute. I think we found the next "pictures" outfit. Sweet clothes! Thanks to J and B!


Today we got up very early and headed to the most fabulous place (well, actually I was disappointed on the trash on the grounds) of the St. Louis Zoo! We got there around 8:30 and J enjoyed the first visit we made, The St. Louis Children's Zoo area. She so wanted to get in the water fun fountains, but we opted not to do that since it was not "hot" yet and it was our first visit of the day. So we then saw the polar bears, rode the carousel and went to Build a bear! On the way back from Daddy making her the very first Build a Bear Zoo Friend Leopard, we went on a train ride around the whole zoo. How fun and how fun it was to have brought back some great memories of riding the train when I was a wee little one! That train ride has not changed one bit, FUN! We even got mooned by a grizzly bear (man in costume) when leaving one station! hehe

Have any of you ever been able to make it through the WHOLE zoo in one day? If so, how many hours did it take you?



From there we went to our nieces 8th birthday party for our families and had a great time. Julia is just loving playing with her cousins now.

Milestones: while standing in the middle of the room, she took one step forward with her left foot today and then fell to the ground. It is just a matter of days before she gets the courage and full balance to take that step. Watch out, I've been told our world will never be the same with a walking infant in the house! hahahahaha.. I know, I laugh now, but I am enjoying every moment of this girls everyso growing life.

gotta go make a grocery list for tomorrow night. Even more fun.

socks, to wear them or not during the summer?

I was at the ball game recently and had a lady sitting next to us with a 9 month old boy. She had thick baby socks on his feet. I looked over and said, "Oh, socks at this time of year?" ... She was taken back a little, but later agreed it was hot out and took them off. I am talking 95 degrees with sweltering humidity. (We were in the shade so granted!)

Do you put socks on your child during the summer?

honestly, Julia has not had on a pair of socks since the first week of June 2008. I know only a few pairs of socks would fit her feet that remain in that drawer that I have obviously not touched in ages now.

Julia is oh so close to walking now so shoes might become a must sooner than later. When did you have your little one wearing shoes ..... As they were walking or a few weeks after they did walk? I only ask because after reading a few books and surfing for the best motherly advice online I have come up with a nearly split opinion on when a child just walking need to or should wear shoes. Give me your opinions ladies (an men)!

Ahhh, time for some fun daughter love over the weekend. I have the pass to the Zoo for Sunday morning. Tomorrow is playdate with a bunch of friends and their children at a West County park. FUN. I can't wait. Camera ready and extra bread to feed the ducks.

Wordless Wednesday

dealing with tempers.....

ok, I need to really get out the books for coping with a childs temper. Is it normal for a 9 month old to have a temper so strong? Even my sister (her full time babysitter) said she is really strong headed when it comes to showing her temper. She tends to hit back at me if I tell her no. Such as.... tonight she was sitting in the kitchen sink and playing with the water. I told her to not play with the handle so that she does not turn it to HOT water. I know, she does not really understand that yet, but I know she knows the word NO. I said Julia, no, don't touch the handle. She immediately pushed my hand aside each time and then slapped me with her hand. Intentional slap too! How do I curtail this slapping? I know she will go through stages of different levels of her temper, but how do I get the message of no through to her without her hitting back? She slapped my niece (who my sister also babysits full time) the other day while they were both in the kiddie pool. Julia wanted the water hose to herself and apparently slapped my niece with her open hand when my niece tried to reach for the hose too. Bahahahaha

I have to laugh at this, but her temper is so strong. Any suggestions?

score! Thank you craigslist for the sellers of toys!

This is my score for the week for Julia. Fisher Price laugh and learn Home. I found it on craigslist this past week for 30.00. SWEET DEAL. All parts there except for 1 of the plastic balls. The seller told me she will look for it at home again.

My daughter LOVES it. I cleaned it up and then she played with it for over a 1/2 hour last night before bedtime. I'll have to try and get a picture of her enjoying this bargain of a great learning toy!

latest of Julia milestones... She is saying "hawwwoowwww" when she puts her phone up to her ear now. (score from the resale shop for 66 cents with working batteries!)

can't sleep so my thoughts are running wild

I often try to find the blogs of the women I went through IVF / infertility treatment cycles with from some of the internet forum boards I was on. Man, I have lost touch with so many. I have moreso lately bookmarked blogs that relate more to my time in my life now, Parenting after Infertility and Adoption (also those that suffer miscarriages still). I migrate to these blogs that talk about the feelings they are dealing with in the adoption side of their lives, questions they get asked publically, staring that happens when a family is transracially formed by adoption, open adoption, family reactions to such adoptions and how birthmothers/birtfamilies are doing after a placement has been made. (that includes the birth siblings of an adoptive child, like J).

I had to mention to my sister yesterday that if she does take J to the local movie theater that hosts free kids movies that there might be a chance that she could run into a part of the birthmothers family of Julia. Maybe her birthsister, birthbrother and even her birthmother! They don't live far from us and the movie house that is hosting this free event is near smack dab in the middle of where we live and where J's birthmother lives!!!!! I know they go to these free events often because a mutual friend of the birthmothers and ours gave us the list of movies and movie houses they are playing at.

At first my sister was a little taken back that she might have an encounter like this, but after a few minutes I could tell she was relieved to know this could happen to her if she is out and about with all the kids (she has her 3, my brothers 3 and Julia each day (all cousins!! FUN)). I wonder if my sister will ever have "adoption" type questions thrown at her about us having adopted Julia and how is it that we can have such an open adoption like we do. We are honest with people and let them know how it works. Of course we don't share details of our visits, but just that an overall understanding of how we meet and how we let things just fall into place every few months for when we all feel the need to see each other. It really does work out well. I know one day we will all run into each other in public by chance and I wanted to let my sister know this so she could be prepared to answer any possible questions my nieces and nephews might have as to who these other people are. I told my sister to tell them they are our extended family now. J's birthfamily told us they consider us extended family now too.

I love our open adoption and am glad to share the ups and downs with anyone if they want to ask. I am proud of J's birthmother and we are so very very blessed to have her in our lives and for J to grow up knowing they all love her so much!

ok, off to bed. That is my random thought of the night... OOPS.. scratch that... random thought of the morning since it is now 1:12 am. bah.

gotta work tomorrow too. ick

time to try to win something for you new moms out there...

Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)





WOW.. if I Could win even one of these they list, I'd be willing to do a review on it ASAP.


go try it out.

Her first Fourth of July in the outside world...

Last year at this time, J was in her tummy mommy's tummy. We had been in contact with her for a few weeks now by this time last year. So this year we celebrated in grand style.

First of all, here is her outfit. Yes, very patriotic.

She was able to see the fireworks that night, but this was just before the sun went down. She was trying so hard to get our attention outside while daddy was inside with her.



I sat and watched the fireworks with her on my lap. She did get a little spooked and cried at the screamer bottle rockets, but I bundled her up in a dry towel and let her watch as she clung to me in a kangaroo style hold. She loved the fireworks, color and bright bursts. (I wish I had given Dh the camera to show you, but I have this memory molded deep in my heart and will never forget this, her first 4th of July). This is some of the fun the kids (including DH) were having by the lakeside).




Thank you Lord for such a blessing of family and friends and our daughter and her birthfamily.


thank YOU so much!

He cooks, he cleans, I love this man

My husband!

he even changes poop filled diapers for my daughter!

He rocks. I love this man!

I hope you all had a Happy 4th of July weekend. Oh wait, It is only Saturday (or early Sunday).. one more day to go and we are hosting a bbq. FUN.

ut oh.. daughter is waking up. I think she is having some major dream episodes tonight. Is she too early to do this in age?

have any of you taken your child's clothes to OUAC?

Once Upon A Child, is it worth taking these 0-3 3-6 6-9 month clothes to sell to them?

Some new, some gap, gymboree, baby lulu, old navy, carters(lots of new items we never took the tags off of)...etc...

Sure, I want to keep these for baby #2 in the future (long future), but I honestly don't have the storage at my house.

Have any of you done the selling to Once Upon A Child?

she said... owwwiiieeeeee, that shot hurt, but look at how big I am

Monday June 30th 9 month doctor appointment stats are:

17.15 lbs (30 percentile in weight)
27 7/8 Inches Tall (50 percentile in height)

he predicts she will be approx 5'4" tall and 130 lbs by young adulthood.

I still predict she will be taller. She seems so much taller than 27 7/8". She has started needing 18 month onsies and 12 month summer outfits at 9 months of age. I tell you, this girl will be tall.
here she is in the camper trying to get something off the table. hehe

camping.... that is what the doc called for

and we took her advice. DH took off Thursday AM and took both doggies to St. Francis State Park in MO. Our sweet daughter and I met them down there Friday evening and so enjoyed our weekend. No, No alcoholic drinks for me from the stress of this past week so no, sorry, no stories of drunkenness to share. Ha. Although my sleeping pill sometimes makes me feel a little drunkenness when I take a full 10 mg pill, which I did Friday night. It was DH's turn to watch Julia! We rotate nights out so it was his night to keep a sleep ear out to the monitor for the receiver next to Julia's pack-n-play set up in the back of the camper. I got a great night sleep. Ahhhhhh.

Saturday we went to the "beach" on the Big River, which btw is not high from any type of flooding. I was able to get Julia in the water and then sat in the shallow area while she insisted on trying to pick up a hand full of rocks and trying to shove them all in her wee little mouth, but no, instead she got to throw a hissy fit because mommy kept knocking those rocks out before she could get them. Mommy then found one big rock and let her play with that. Then there was an attention getter for her, a 5 month old puppy playing in the water. Oh she loved that. (heck, they both loved that). We watched "angel" play and play with the owner and a ball she would chase.

Saturday evening after eating dinner, the 3 of us went for a nice walk and then stroll up to the playground.
This is what Julia found up there.... A swing!

come on and sing along with me

when you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.....
when you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.....

my face surely shows it.... I'm happy because my mammo results are NOT BAD... I am a fibrocystic dense tissue woman and proud of it. That is all. No lumps visible on mammo, just dense tissue. YEAH.... follow up physical exam from the gyn/doc brings an agreement I am all clear of any lumps or mammo visible spots! No worries about that damn C word.

THANK YOU for all the + thoughts.


Now go enjoy your freaking weekend, I sure am.

confused and scared....(update on mammogram)

Well, The initial reports the day of my mammo last week were "all clear" from the in house at the time radiologist.... then the docs office calls 2 days later and says "all clear" then I get my letter in the mail from department of radiology and it says "evaluation of your mammogram reveals findings that need further study. Results of this exam have been sent to your doctor listed above. We recommend (checked) more exams and clinical correlations."

WTF.... my head is spinning.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

I know, I know, this most likely is nothing since I have fibrocystic breast tissue, it most likely means that they want radiology to do an ultrasound to make sure they cannot see anything.

Oh please let it be nothing.

I got this letter this evening so it was too late to call the doc's office, of course.


deep breath. (see my post 3 posts back about my appointment and you will know why I am confused... LOL)

infertility and adoption support in St. Louis

I am a volunteer for this group in St. Louis for infertility and adoption support groups..... please consider attending even if you just want to listen......

http://www.infertilityandadoption.org/

Hello all! We have several announcements to pass along to you.

1. Our next "Stories of . . ." seminar will be on June 25, 2008. The topic will be "Stories of Successful Domestic Adoptions," and our panel will include 2 adoptive mothers and a birthmother. This will be an excellent meeting for anyone who is thinking about adoption, in the process, or has become a parent through adoption. Remember that this meeting is open to the public, and we encourage you to bring along family members and friends, as well. For more information on time and location, please visit our website at http://www.infertilityandadoption.org/. We hope to see you there!

2. There will be no meetings in July.

3. All meetings will resume in August. Our SOS meeting will be on August 27, 2008. The topic will be "Stories of Loss in Infertility and Adoption."

4. Our website forum is up and running, and seems to be fairly active recently. This forum is a great way to receive continued support in between meetings. Please check it out.

5. Our Lending Library list has been completely updated on our website. Please check it out at www.infertilityandadoption.org. If you would like to borrow any items, please email me, and I will make sure to have it at the SOS mtg on June 25. Please remember that only members may borrow books from our library. Also, if you have any recommendations for additions to our library, please email them to me and we will work on adding them to our library. In addition, IAS has a wish list on Amazon.com. The name of our wish list is "IAS Library" and on it you will find a list of books that you may purchase and donate to our lending library.

6. Another easy way to support our organization is to use the search engine Goodsearch at www.goodsearch.com. Simply go to their website, enter Infertility and Adoption Support as your designated cause, and then use Goodsearch for all your searches. For every search that you do, we will receive a donation.

7. Lastly, we hope that you will consider becoming a member of IAS and/or volunteering a little bit of your time to help us out, if you have not already done so. All of your membership dues are used to bring you the various meetings and seminars that we offer and we always welcome new faces to help out with our various events throughout the year.

We look forward to seeing you on June 25.

coupon links this week

I get these from: (click the picture for her blog)



Sweet coupons this week.

Now mind you.. I didn't print all of the coupons she links to because I don't shop by coupons.. I shop for the items I need and several of them (peanuts, brownie mix, icing mix, bisquick, yogurt, suddenly salad and cheerios/cereal for DH and Julia. I need to browse the ads today to see which grocery stores (and maybe walmart or target) have these items on sale too.

Ok, off to clip my Sunday ad coupons if there are any. Oh please let there be diaper and wipes coupons.

ouch, that one really stung

Today was my appointment for my annual gyn exam. Eventhough my doc is an ob/gyn, I don't see him for the OB side of things anymore because I don't have my uterus to be on the reproductive side of things. I think I really need to find a doc that deals only with gyn issues... know of one?

I get there at 9:20 hoping to get in and out with a pass for the boob pancake smasher later next week. Well at 10:10 am still no doc. 10:25 am I overhear the receptionist tell a newly entered patient who's appointment was way behind mine, that "oh, doc T had to go do a delivery at the hospital (next door) and he will be a while. 10 minutes later she opens the window and yells at us patients of his and said Dr. T wants everyone to reschedule. WHAT? Yes, my luck. Well, I had tried for 2 months to get this appointment and lately with a scare of finding a lump up under my arm and very much tenderness in both breasts, I insisted I stay and see someone else. I was not going to reschedule when Dr. T was available (which would have been after July 9th). So I was asked to take a seat and they finally said that the nurse practitioner would see me. nearly 45 minutes later the nurse came to get me, weighed me (down 8 lbs from 2 weeks ago, YEA me!) and then set me up for the NP to come in. Drape over the lap and smock over shoulders that opens in the front, you know, Those lovely paper items that make you feel oh so comfortable! NOT.......

Lowandbehold, I know the new Nurse practitioner. She attends the local adoption support group. She immediately asked me if I was ok.... Ummmm NO.. and I began sobbing. OMG... I did not realize that sitting in that lobby of the docs office with all these pregnant ladies would bother me so much now that I know I can never physically have a baby (read: partial hysterectomy in May 2005). She grabbed my hand and just squeezed it to let me know she GETS IT, She UNDERSTANDS my pain. God I just wanted to grab her and give her a hug for listening, caring and being there for me and NOT shedding one tear either. Bah I felt better and then we got down to the business of everything. Several different positions to have her take her time for each breast to examine here I am having pain. I did not have apparent lumps in my breasts, but pain... lots of it. Caffeine? Maybe too much, hormones... MOST LIKELY cause of the pain and plus she agreed that with carrying Julia around, who is nearly 18 lbs by now, could be making the muscles of the breast sore and thus symmetrical pain setting in. BUT she did feel the lump in my right arm pit lymph area and agreed it needed to be looked at by Mammography and if needed, ultrasound.

Next area of concern was that my abdominal pain is back and hurting bad at different points of my cycles, Yes, I still go through a hormonal cycle even though I don't have my uterus. So she did my pap exam and said she can't feel my ovaries by manual exam. She asked me to go have an ultrasound today too. She wants to make sure my ovaries are visable and maybe they are adhered to the wrong areas of the abdomen, thus causing some pain. She agrees the endometirosis is most likely back so we know the answer to that one.... surgery. No, I don't want that right now and I'll deal with the endo pain for a few more months before I have to consider surgery.

Abdominal ultrasound was scheduled for 1 pm so I left and went to the St. Luke's gourmet cafeteria. Did I mention that I have done this routine when I was back doing fertility treatments with Dr. Pearlstone? I would go in for one procedure around lunch and then have to stick around for another ultrasound or something after lunch so I made the track to the cafe several times over my years of treatments too. Fun. NOT. Yummy food.... NOT.

I went to go into the exam room around 1:20 pm for this internal ultrasound and I found Dr. T coming out of his office. We briefly caught up and I showed him my proud pictures of Julia. I could tell he was happy for us and relieved we had finally reached our goal of becoming parents. He told me to call him after the mammogram next week for results. He also said to think about surgery for the endo and lets see what this Ultrasound results for the lost ovaries. Bahhhhh.
Mr Wand (as we called the probe all through our treatment years) was not so gentle to my vajajaja.. OUCH. The US tech winced with me. YOUCH.. it still makes me cringe thinking about that pain. She did find both of my ovaries after some digging and I told her I was pre-ovulation so I could see all the follies growing. Dang, I had at least 5 on the right side and 4 on the left.. NO BIG CYSTS. YEAH. No other signs of troubles in there so I was given the pass to go.

NExt stop was the breast mammography center. Thank goodness this was all the same hospital campus. I got a good walking exercise going to a few different offices. I waited maybe 20 minutes before I was taken into the boob smashing machine room. Even with much newer technology, dang, it still hurts to get them smashed views like that. and now they can get your inner arm pit in the view too so that is even much more uncomfortable .. YOUCH again.

The tech told me she would have the radiograph tech read them ASAP to know if we needed to go to ultrasound too. I waited maybe another 10 minutes and they said I have the all clear and if the pain persists in the boob tissue to consider seeing an internist for possible symptoms of muscles and tissue disorders. Oh fun. Yes, yet another thing to worry about. At least the films on initial view were clean of any possible cancerous spots or a need to biopsy. I do have very fibrocystic tissue breasts so they said that this pain can happen and maybe find the internist to help with pain management. I will do that. As far as the lump in my arm pit, they thing it could be a inflamed ingrown hair. EWWWWWW, but I'll take that any day over a lump that needs to be removed!!!!!!! they told me to keep a close eye on it for any growth or change in size.

Ok, I love my body as it makes life possible, but man I hate these worries like this since there is such a persistent result of death in my family on both sides from differing cancer diagnosis. Can you tell why I freak out now at the slightest thing?!

Ok, if you read this whole thing.. .I commend you.

If you are a woman and are reading this novel, PLEASE DO YOUR SELF BREAST EXAM tomorrow!

Wordless Wednesday

priceless giggles

results of my coupon clipping.....

Target was my place of shopping last night. No, I did not feel like driving at 9 pm to another store for slightly cheaper costs when the stores were going to close within that hour anyway.

My costs were $131.89, My taxes were $6.84 at 7.7410% and another 4.6409% for $1.41/ Tax total was 8.25, my coupons rang up to 5.00 total so I nearly covered 3/4 of my taxes to be paid. No bad. I wish I had more, but a bunch of my items were Target brand. I had to buy a bath mat because my dog ate the other one (really!) when she accidentally locked herself in the bathroom the other day while we were at work. At least she didn't eat my new cabinets in there! So that was a large cost, plus we got target brand formula for Ms. Julia, Bottle liners (again target brand), Floss (which I can only use crest glide and can never find a coupon for that) and crest toothpaste( my coupon was expired and Target won't let me use that one, believe me, I tried). Target brand paper towels, napkins and last my HUGE cost was my Fusion Razor blades for my "lady" razor I use. That company never has coupons for the Fusion brand. Heck, I think I'll call them to get them to start producing coupons in the Sunday ads.


Ok, not a bad coupon day. I get to go grocery shopping later this week so I'll see what I can save.

Shop for products, not for the item you have coupons for and try the store brand... maybe, just maybe it might work for you on some things.

Do you clip?

my sister is the coupon queen and she does not even play the grocery game. She has never heard of it until I mentioned it to her last night. She and I went to the local in town thrift stores and then to shop-n-save for a few quick groceries. She never shops without coupons, but She does not shop for products according to the coupons in the paper. She clips, organizes them in this huge coupon box and then shops per need of items and she continually checks her box to see if she has a coupon. Last night she shopped for items for the trip to the lake today. She spent $55.xx dollars and had $6.00 in coupons. WOW. That is huge.

My goal for shopping is to have coupons to cover the taxes I pay to the store for either sundries or groceries. For example, I plan on buying Julia's supply of diapers and wipes. My sister clipped huggies diaper coupons and pampers sensitive wipes coupons. I will use those against my total bill and it will cut my tax costs. I hope to go through my coupon (zip lock bag) envelope and find a crest toothpaste coupon or paper towel coupon. I see the Ads in this Sunday paper has a beechnut baby food coupon. I plan on using that at Schnucks because they finally started carrying state 3 beechnut items. Gerber is so expensive and is hardly ever on sale.

When I do online coupons, some companies do require you to install a printer software. If you don't feel comfortable doing this then don't. I watch what their terms of service calls for (installing spy ware basically ) in ways of installing things on your computer with downloading the printer software. Coupons.com is a good place to print from. I too have never tried the grocery game, but I am going to talk to my friend ab out how it works for her. Do you do the grocery game? If so, let me know so maybe we can chat about it.

DO you use coupons? If so, share some of your secrets with me please!

Cost cutting is a must with gas prices so high now and clipping coupons for certain items we need really does help in the long run.

plans change .. dang rain

science center it is instead. 10 am

ugh.. dang rain changes our plan, but we plan on having fun anyway.

Parenting joys of watching my girl grow up so fast

Ok, another Julia first.



I dropped her off at my sisters house the other day. First thing J wants to do is sit on the floor by the back door and look out at her two dogs. My sister immediately picks up the dog food bowl and water next to the door inside, but I noticed Julia had something in her hand right as my sister moved away with the bowls. Her hand instantly went up to her mouth, as it does with anything she picks up, YES, you guessed it... DOG FOOD. ewwwww



I was quick enough to sweep it out of her mouth. Thank goodness.



She is being persistent about crawling behind the end table next to the couch and finding the electrical cords on the lamp. phone, etc... I will have to zip tie them up, but the laptop I can't do that to. How the heck can I keep her out of these cords?

We are hoping the weather is nice on Friday. Please please please don't rain on our parade to Grants Farm. If it does rain, I don't know what we will do. My thoughts (along with my sisters) are to go to the Science Center, but everyone and their brother will be there too.

a little early Wordless Wednesday picture

her first swim in our pool

Julia just took her first swin in our pool. DH took some pictures, but I'll have to load them from his camera later. Also, I'll be sure to get him to take a few of her alone in her floater (which btw, she hates!!!!) while screaming bloody murder to get out. LOL She did fine if I held her and let her play with the new squirt toys I got for her from kohl's Thursday night.

I need to look into swim lessons. I am a great swimmer and can teach her well, but I do want her to go through lessons since we have a pool in our yard. I wish I could take these lessons. Infant / toddler survival techniques in the pool, but man I can't afford to pay for those.

Yard sales were ok today, not the greatest of bargains except today I scored a little tikes country cottage Play house for Julia. I know, she is too little to use it yet, but for 20.00 how could i pass it up? YES, 20 dollars. I had to take it apart and bring it home in DH's truck, but I could not pass up a bargain. L'll have vto power spray it the week, but a good item for playtime in a few months. I got her some books and some small teethers that were new.

major house cleaning this week.

oh, get this, my neighbors house is up for sale and has been empty for a few months now. She called me to tell me her house was broken into last week and the thieves stole all the copper pipes out of the house. YIKES. police told her that her house was one of three in our neighborhood that was robbed of just the copper pipes. One house was occupied when it happened at night. WHAT? How the hell did that resident not hear it?

Reading to our daughter, talking about her lifebook

No, I am not a scrapbooker, but I can tell a good story. This story starts at an early age for Julia about her birthmother and her birthmothers blessing she has given in having selected us to become her adoptive parents for the rest of her life. Her MOM and DAD. I am again picking up the book 20 things adoptive kids wish their adoptive parents knew and it has really stirred the thoughts in my mind of when DH and I will really start feeling comfortable to give that explanation of how she grew in her tummy mommy's belly and how we were all at the hosptial the day she was born, including her birthgrandmother and her birth siblings came later to see her along with both birthfamil.y friends and our family and friends. Such a loved and welcomed little girl. I hope she knows that we will never stop showering her with love from all sides of her immediate family and extended birth family.

We plan on telling Julia her birth story and letting her decide when it is appropriate for share what she feels comfortable with sharing. This is HER lifebook story and I'll alreays remember it, but I will let her know she can keep it to herself or if she wills to, she can share it with any one person or many as she chooses to do so. THere are certain things that are not made public even with such an open adoption agreement. It is out of respect that we don't share those things and honestly Julia is entitled to be the first to know those things. At this point in life it might be 2 or 4 years before she understands the simplest explanation of who she came from and how much they all love her so and how much we love her no matter what.

Those of you that adopted, how has it fallen in line for age of when you started really explaining things to your child about their birthmother/father and family? Just curious to see how it varies in ages.

Doggie Heaven is a happy place in my mind (Lindsey went there tonight)

I have always pictures doggie heaving to be a happy care free frolic filled place for doggies that suffered before they went there. They feel no more pain, they are happy and fulfilled and lay in the grass with their favorite bone to chew on with almost a smile on their face. Wagging their tails at the sight of another fancy free puppy friend.

After preliminary rounds of blood work this morning and another round this evening, our decision to put Lindsey to sleep was set. Doggie heaven is her new residence. Suspected intestinal cancer. We plan on having her cremated.

I am glad she has a fur-sister up in heaven to join along with her 3 other fur-kitty-sisters. I cried, DH cried and even the Vet cried. That really touched me when Dh had asked me after we left if I had seen that the vet was also crying. I had not seen that, but what a caring man he is. Lindsey was in the best possible care over night and now we know she is in a safe cancer free place too.

Give your furbabies a hug from me. We have 2 furdoggies at home that I wonder if they will really miss Lindsey.

Lindsey, thank you for those many years of great joy and rough-housing. I'll never forget your quirks, I'll never forget that you were queen of the furbabies in the house and I'll never forget how you loved being a model big sister to your other sisters

thanks to you all for caring and the notes you left and sent.

if you can send some healing vibes for my doggie..

TMI WARNING>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>TMI WARNING>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>








a very sick Lindsey is at the Vet overnight due to vomiting and now bloody stools and vomit. If you could spare a healing thought for her, we sure would appreciate it. Lindsey is 10 years old and my love I rescued at 9 weeks old at the flea market in Wentzville. I don't want her to go, but she is so sick. No intestinal blockage by x-ray so it could be viral intestinal or a parasite or even pancreatic. Yikes. She is hooked up to IV's and been given a shot or two to calm the nausea. I so hope she can make it, but the blood work tomorrow morning might help us make that decision. Cancer is my fear, but we don't know yet so I'll hold out hope. My other two pups are lost without her here at home.

She was a product of my heartache days of Infertility starting and she was my rock and my fun to have on my down days after and or during my miscarriages (if you can find any way to have fun while going through such a heartache, she is the one to help you through it).

Here she is:

Baby, it was Well worth the trip to Imperial Missouri

Today, my mom and I set up vendor booth (easy up tent awning and several tables) at the Creative Learning Center parking lot at Seckman Rd and Old Lemay Ferry in Imperial MO. This was a baby swap meet that was listed on craigslist a few weeks back. My mom called and ordered one space, but After a few days of gathering up my items that Julia has grown out of, I asked my mom to get two spaces and we would share the space. Glad we did because we had a ton of items to sell. My mom makes homemade baby items like blanket, bibs, pillows, the baby bottle holders I use to sell (she is still selling on ebay). I got rid of about 140.00 worth of items and clothes. SWEET. I'll be sure to do this sale again next week. The lady that runs the center said they plan on making this an annual sale and we would be first on her list and get prime pick of the spots in the lot. We were 2 sellers of only 5 total so I think we will do well with this type of sale next year again.

Sure, setting up a yard sale is hard work, especially if you have to take your items some place else besides just outside your home, but I do feel this is a great opportunity to join a swap meet / baby sale that might grow as big as the mehlville baby mania sale that is held twice a hear, spring & fall. I still have lots of items to sell so my mom, sister and I plan on getting a booth at the mehlville sale in October.

Julia, your bank account is growing fast if I can keep up these sales of items you are growing out of.

I know, we could have kept it all for when we do adopt again one day, but in my small house I don't have storage like I would love to have and no garage so I can't keep it here. With being a bargain shopper that I am, I know I'll be able to replenish my supply of items we will need for baby #2 when that comes time in a few years.

As I sit here typing this out, I am also peeking over at my daughter that is getting flustered because she can't get the drum stick on the little tikes zylaphone to work right. She just can't grasp the concept that the drum stick needs to hit the keys instead of her inserting it in her mouth. LOL

This past week I picked up a picture of DH, Julia and I. I showed it to Julia and pointed to Dada for her. She looked at the picture and said "Dada" without me provoking her. hehe.

Attaining a new babysitter, what a heartache yet joyful change

Julia has been with the same babysitter from 8 weeks of age until now at just over 8 months old. Tomorrow is her last day with D, her current babysitter. D lives about 10 minutes SW of us and I drop Julia off there M-F around 7:30 am. DH picks her up. D is a great sitter, but there is a time when it comes to knowing our daughter needs to expand her sights. My sister is now going to babysit her full time in her home.

See, this is a good thing. Why? Well, my sister is one that love to take her 3 children (14, 12, 5) to the zoo, grants farm, science center, susson park (sp, is that spelled correctly?) and to the water park at Six flaggs. Julia didn't get to do those things with her current sitter and I hated knowing that sitter did not even have a car at home in case of emergencies.

The good of those months with D as her sitter are that she was able to help closely interact with Julia to teach her many things. Helped her reach many milestones. It was an understanding that D would not tell us of any milestones reached because she wanted to have us experience them as first time parents on our own. So when Julia started to smile, maybe D saw it first, but she never let us know that. The only way we would know if Julia reached a milestone is we relayed it back to D that we saw that milestone and she just smiled and shook her head. I know some moms wouldn't like this kind of care, but it made me feel good to know I got to see her crawl for the first time, say bye-bye and wave for the first time.

I trust my sister, I know she has raised her children to not be 100% spoiled and makes them do chores and makes them sit down and do their homework each night, plus she really gets down on their level to talk to them if something has not gone accordingly or a little "time out" needs to be instilled. She does not raise a hand to her children and I am so thankful for that. I don't want my child to be around such negativity in discipline (not that D had this happening). My sister will work with Julia on her skills, help her learn to walk, help her learn playtime sharing of toys and just overall have fun each day.

I want my daughter to have fun, yet have respect for her adult figure in charge of her. I know this will be carried over into her life by my sister.

I am so thankful for family being in town and that my sister has decided to be a stay-at-home mom again. Plus she gets to spend time with her other cousins, my brothers children, because my sister will also be babysitting them. No, not too many children at all in one house, just lots of cousins to share time together with.

Julia, I know you will have such fun there. You'll be able to learn to swim, spend time with Aunt C and have nap time with your cousins too each day. I can't wait to see you in action with them all. I'll hopefully be able to go to the zoo and or grants farm with you all soon.

Cheers to family and the support they give.

Wordless Wednesday (video so there are some words, hehe)

EWWWWWW.. OMG.. yick.....

Julia is in the living room right on the floor by the couch, DH is on the couch with his foot 1/2 hanging off the couch.. I look over and suddenly Julia has DH's big toe in her mouth.... EWWWWWWW. DH was shocked that she decided to nibble on his foot.

I am sure this won't be the worst that she will be adventurous to put in her mouth.

What crazy things has your child put in their mouth?

Silly Saturday slide show.......my(Julia's) many faces (and coupon links)

LOOKING for HUGGIES Gentle Care Diaper coupons... I can trade up with similac or enfamil coupons!

Ok, here is a slide show I put together of Julia's many faces from the last few months. (also, read below about the coupons I have found online with no obligations to "sign up" with these sites).

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

http://www.bluebunny.com/Coupons.aspx (1.00 off blue bunny premium ice cream quart)

Wordless Wednesday