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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

baby, u r a star but mamma is falling apart

I flunked my hidascan for my gall bladder. Ejection/fraction rate for the dye to leave my gall bladder was only 17% and it should have been more than 70%. So I have to schedule surgery soon. After having 5 abdominal laproscopic surgeries related to my infertility, I know what it takes to prep for surgery and recovery, but I just hate the idea of any surgery on my body!

My daughter is growing like a weed.

At 4 months 2 days,
she weighs 13.1 lbs.(50 percentile)
she is 25.5 inches long.(80percentile)
and has a 50 percentile head circumference



my poor sister is sick too. man, we all need some healing vibes

How early did your baby's teeth come in?

Yes, this has turned to a parenting blog... So fair warning.


How old was your baby when s/he got their first tooth?

I am curious because I was told that one of Julia's birthsiblings got his first tooth around the age of 4 months and I swear Julia is going to have a tooth or two pop through in a few weeks time. She has no buds showing on the gums yet, but she was chewing on my fingers yesterday and I could feel very hard spots in her upper gums. Hummm, I wonder if she too will be presenting mommy and daddy with some teeth early.

I know, not all kids will be the same on teeth presentations in their sweet little mouths, but how old was your child when they did get their first tooth?

We now call her Droolia instead of Julia because she can soak a bib in 5 minutes. I had to invest in the plastic backed bibs from target these past few weeks and she goes through several bibs a day sometimes.

No complaints here, just curious how fast or slow some babies can get their teeth in.

see, she has drool everywhere! And this was between bib changes that she drooled this much.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Happy 4 months my sweetie

My sweet baby girl is 4 months old today. 10:22 pm was her birth on 9/27/07. I was in the delivery room when she was born and let me tell you I replay that moment in my mind over and over and just smile.

What a blessing her birthmother has given us. What a blessing it has been that a friend through the infertility support group in town (former) emailed us about Julia's birthmother while we were in Colorado facing a failed match in June 2007. And shortly after that, what a blessing that we were selected by Julia's birthmother to become her Adoptive parents.

I thank God for you every Day, Julia. You have made us a family instead of just being a couple. (I don't discount the days as a couple, because that is what brought us to you.)

You are the light of our lives and I am so thankful for you and your birthmother.

Friday, January 25, 2008

the telling tale

while Julia grows up, I try and find ways to incorporate her birth story and tidbits about her birthfamily every day.

Of course reading adoptive parenting books can work for some and I'll be honest and say I have learned a few things, but it is so a challenge of how I will construct every detail of her coming into this world and how much her birthmother loves her and how at that time in her life her birthmother made a decision that best fit into her life of not being able to care for her. Sometimes things just don't fit into place for everyone. I was there with our many miscarriages. They never had a proper time to hit in life, but we made plans to help get us through things and had Julia's brithmother not made the decision to make an adoption plan, we would not know this lovely little girl falling asleep next to me on the couch. Yes, I will be able to tell that part of her life story to her so maybe one day she can tell that story to family and friends if she wishes, but I want to make sure I keep doing that in life and sometimes I fear I will forget details.

I know one day she will come to me and ask me to explain her story to her again and then again. I will do that. I will do the best of my ability to recall every detail. I don't want her to ever think she was not wanted, because that is the farthest from the truth. She was so much wanted by all of her birthfamily, but things in her birthmothers life were just not fitting together to be able for her and them to be able to parent her. They wish for her to have a happy life, clothes, food, etc. That will be done and with so many thanks to her birthfamily for accepting us into their lives to take on that task and life story for Julia.

I pray for Julia's birthmother each day. I don't know how she is doing in life right now. We have seemingly gone from an open adoption relationship to a semi-open with just letters and pictures being sent to the agency for now. This is part of the process. We understood this from the social worker that this open to semi-open or even closed relationship can fluctuate from time to time. It is hard to accept it, but I know Julia's birthmother is thinking of her each day. I know my prayers are reaching her too.

I have to head to work. I'll edit this post tonight and talk more about it then.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

scan done now I wait

ahhh, don't you like it when you have to wait for medical test results? The tech told me today it would be 2 business days b4 my scans get to my GI docs office. Ok, so if I don't hear from them by Tuesday, I;ll call them.

that scan reminded me in so many ways all the scans and procedures I had while going through all the infertility diagnostic steps to find out what was wrong with me and even the feeling of laying on the table (no, no stirrups were needed today) full glory hanging out for egg retrievals. Fun. Ask me about that if you want more details.

I got out of the scan in not so much pain, but more dull pain and a mean freaking headache from not eating from 5 am until 2:30 pm . tylenol is my buddy.

Ok a busy weekend ahead. I hope to bring you more of some sweet julia sweetheart pictures.

Like this one:

hidascan

I have a hidascan today to test my gall bladder to see if it the cause of my hospitalization this past week. I will hopefully post later this evening after the procedure, if not, well then I might be in surgery having it taken out if it is bad. Wish me the first option please!

I was told originally to not eat after midnight last night, but I called to confirm a few things about the test yesterday and the tech told me I could eat or drink up until 7 am this morning. Well, I had toast around 5 am so I hope that is ok. I could not fathom not eating from midnight until 1 pm this afternoon. I would have been passed out on the deck of the scanning machine and have a nasty headache to boot. I am so glad I called to confirm this and a also to find out where I had to go. The tech was a little nasty with me on the phone for not knowing these things, but I told her the doc nor the nurse told me what to do. People, come on.. that is why I called you to confirm. Biotch.

Ok, on a better note. DH got me a new palm pilot for xmas. I can't wait to get the thing set up, but for some odd reason my poor old decrepit Dell desktop is fighting me tooth and nail to get this synced up or even letting me install a new version over the old one. I WILL WIN THIS BATTLE Mr. Palm Pilot. Yes. I call it a Mister because men are stubborn and this palm is acting just like that. Ha

On the note of children, my daughter has learned how to full out giggle so hard she snorted last night. LOL

She also started eating apple sauce. She is not sure if she likes it or not, but I mixed it in with her cereal and she is doing ok with it so far. I can't wait to see how big she is on the scale at the docs next week. I know she is super long. Is 25 inches tall/long HUGE for the age of 4 months?

Saturday, January 19, 2008

recovering after a hospital stay

we still don't know what is wrong with me, but I spent Thursday night in the ER at St. Anthony's from 6:30 pm until 1 am and then was admitted. I just got home tonight.

I think I am having gall bladder attacks, but they can't seem to figure it out yet. more on that tomorrow.

I am not digesting food well tonight after not having food since noon on Thursday. Ick.

I hope to avoid the ER again and book my hidascan either on Monday or Tuesday. Wish me luck. I hear it is painful.

They did rule out a stomach ulcer with todays endoscopy. Fun.

Ok, Julia is sleeping and I am going to catch some winks myself.

Stay well and away from the ER if you can. I am sure trying to avoid it again.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Eff you Tyra...

Apparently Tyra Bnaks put out a call for a future show.. Oh I can't wait to find out when it is on so I can tivo it and then get on every resourceful phone, email letter writing jog I can to rip her a new ARSEHOLE. I hear words flying throughout the infertility community that Tyra did wrong by those on the show that were really there for educational purposes and those people got rubbed the wrong way by her and the producers. BIOTCH Let me at her. Dare her to hurt our cyber friends this way. I am waiting for a new update from one of their blogs to tell me when the show airs. I'll post it for you too.

Now if I watch the show and Tyra really does in good heart help these ladies/men struggling to building their families, them I'll take back my words, but from what I get out of the cyberworld info, it might not be a very nice show ... maybe one of the most offensive shows to us in the Infertility, Miscarriage, Adoption communities.

Adoption for some is not a cure all for those with infertility or miscarriages.

Surrogacy for some is not a cure all.

Heck, do you really know what it costs to go through 5 fresh IVF cycles? I do

Heck, Do you really know what it costs for a gestational surrogate? I do, I did my research. go ahead and ask me in a comment here. I'll tell you what my research found in the cost department that this Average Joe household income can't even touch with a 500 foot pole.

Heck, Do you (Tyra) know how wrong it is to tell an infertile couple to "just Adopt" Oh let me tell you that Oprah made that mistake and made an uproar in the IF / Adoption community. The wrong PC thing to say to any couple dealing with losses of fertility and miscarriages and failed adoptions. Just wrong.

Producers of these types of shows, shame on you for not interviewing the infertile couple out there first before diving into a show and really making some bad judgement calls on topics and such.

Ok more on this later when I find out the date that Tyra Banks has scheduled her show for.

if you have heard of when this show will air, please post to me here.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Bahahaha.... A birthday funny

this was posted to me in a forum I belong to. TOO FUNNY.




Yes, a young 38 I turn today. It was a great day of being pretty lazy. I slept in, Thanks to my DH! I woke up to my daughter smiling at me from her daddy's arms. I had fun being a lazy butt on the couch and some on the floor with Julia playing on her blanket. I did do a few loads of laundry, or at least started them. I got the new U2 Joshua Tree collection (funny thing was that DH wrapped my gift up in Julia's blanket! hahaha too cute.) and I have a birthday cake waiting for me that DH baked. Lemon cake with cream cheese frosting. It has an Over the Hill candle that plays the funeral march song (dh is funny!ha) and a Little Mermaid candle and two candles to show my age, but DH was trying to be funny and put the candles on there to say I am 83 instead of 38. Bah

One of the most precious gifts I have today is our daughter, Julia!

Thank you for a great day and weekend of celebrating. We went to the movies to see Juno on Friday night, we went to dinner at Latawata Creek grill in IL last night and today was a nice day at home. Ahhh. I wish I had taken tomorrow off to sleep in again.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Julia's first roll over

Let me know if you can't view this video. I've been having a hard time finding an online service to upload it to so I could post it here for you all to see. I was just checking my camera for previous photos and videos when I noticed Julia flipping over. I got 3/4 of her flip. She had already flipped to her side and I got her on video flipping back over.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Thanks to the Blues

we had great seats and a great night at the hockey game.
We won 1 to 0.

Fun.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

GO BLUES

I'm not sure where our seats are, but who cares! There is not a bad seat in Savvis!

Julia is not going, she is staying home with grandma.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Daddy's little girl

(this post jumps all over the place, sorry to make you try and keep up)

I swear, Julia has her daddy wrapped around her little finger! She loves sitting on his chest facing him and talking to him. It is so cute to watch.

Julia has found her voice and loves to exercise it both is joy and frustration. She surprises herself with high pitched sounds and then gets excited after she hears that pitch. LOL Today she was in giggles talking to her daddy and her grandma. Grandma said she loves talking to Julia the most when she is on her changing table. Yes, something with the changing table transforms Julia into a chatterbox. She lifts her legs high into the air and then chatters up a storm. Waving her arms around too, she is almost telling us a fun story.

Julia ate her first real serving of Rice Cereal with a spoon. Oh she took to it right away. I got it on video, but honest, I won't post it here due to those that like to critique my house> LOL We were undecorating from Christmas and it was messy. I sat her in her bumbo seat with the tray attached and she took the first little bit and spit it out, but then she quickly smacked her lips asking for more. I tried and she did take it in and swallowed it. I continued to give her little 1/4 baby spoon fulls. She ate it up. Watch out. The girl has an appetite to beet the bandit. Now we will do her cereal with a little bit of a bottle at night. Not to help her sleep, but to satisfy her hunger. She is ravenous lately.

This coming week I will make my call to Parents as Teachers.

This coming week I hope to get to the root of all of the toys in her nursery she got for Christmas. Yes, I have not opened them all yet, nor gotten batteries put in all the toys yet.

Hey, a question for fellow moms out there. Is it worth purchasing rechargeable batteries for her toys? or should I stick with just buying Duracell? (yes, I have proven tested most of the techie equipment at work works best with Duracell.

We hope to be able to celebrate a late Christmas in the next week or so with Julia's birthmother and family. I hope she calls soon. I miss seeing them.

I must say, after waiting so long to become a parent, Julia has made my Holidays so much brighter and so much more enjoyable. The empty feeling of missing a child in our lives has been filled. Even DH said tonight "She makes our lives complete". Ahhhh.
I will say that I look forward to having her on my hip for celebrating my birthday next weekend. Fun.

Oh, I need to plug a trivia night. If any of you are interested in a fun trivia event, the local Infertility and Adoption support group is hosting a trivia night in February. Please go to their web site to check out coming details. Post here or email me if you need details.
I can't wait.


Bec