Friday's beta hcg level was down to 5.9. Our Chemical pregnancy is .9 points from officially being over, but they are done doing beta's. I stopped the PIO progesterone injections now and have to wean off of the dexamthasone up to Wed. I expect my AF lining shed will be very heavy. I will go visit the local sundries store tomorrow and stock up on my AF supplies. I will ride this out as it happens and will call my ob/gyn for help if needed as my RE is out of town for this coming week. Ugh.
This is bitter sweet, we tried hard to make this cycle work and yet it did in a way. Something tried to implant, but did just did not have the strength to hang on. I hope that I can try one more fresh cycle and then DH and I are up for saving for adoption domestically for the next 3 years. I resolve to the fact that our chances of a biological child are becoming slim so we have to broaden our thoughts and options for becoming parents. It took a long time in our battle of infertility to realize that "PREGNANCY" is not always necessary to have a child. A child we can love no matter how s/he is born into this world. Sure, we would grieve our loss of a bio child if that is the route our Journey takes us, as I assume many would, but once I can hold a baby in arms and say "s/he is ours" then I will be very proud of our journey to that moment.
I want to be happy right now, but I have to get through the grief and AF is the last part of that to come this week.
Thank goodness for IF therapy group meetings . YEAH. Damn it, I was pregnant for a short time.
Babysat my niece and nephew Friday night and had a great time. I got a wonderful picture of DH reading book to my nephew just b4 bed. It was very sweet and gave me hope that we will be parents and he will be a wonderful daddy.
I wish I had a cable to download that picture to share with you.
Hearts heal in due time
Wounds will be healed over
Minds will prevail
feeling physically: crampy
book I am reading: A gathering of Old Men.