in times of missing her birthmother so much... I give you a picture of my precious gift from her birthmother

My heart melts as she shows her growing age and words

OH MY GOSH.. I had to totally hold back the tears this evening while I held the phone for Julia to let her leave a voice mail on daddy's cell phone. We won't see him until Wednesday because he is out camping (yes, in this crazy weather).

She calls daddy... DADDIO and says is with conviction and long drawn out sounds. I'll try and get it on video so you can hear it. Well, I told her to tell daddio... "Daddie, I love you" and it came out of her mouth so sweetly and with her head tilting with a pucker of the lips as to kiss the phone. My heart melted. I can't wait until daddio listens to his voice mail when he heads into town tomorrow to get cell reception. hehe She said "Daddiooooo, luv vu"..

Lately J has been saying the word MESS. She will spill something accidentally and look at it and say "mess" and look at me like she is going to get in trouble. LOL Well, today she was at the sitters (aunt c's house) and looked at aunt c and said "mess"... then this 18 month old was so smart to go put herself in time-out. When I called to check on her today, my sister said she knows of no mess that j made and still is shaking her head lauging that j put HERSELF in time-out. WOW.. This child of our is growing into a smart and very understanding of the literal meaning of things. Time out works for her so well too, even when she is not in trouble and demands to put herself there for no good / bad reason. Ha

The jibber jabber is just amazing. She was in the car with me last night, saw a lady walking a dog down the street and said... "Mommio, doggie dieuolikeh leekousoieehng. slsliehgotutuellls ... theiosoe !!!! !" and ended that jibber jabber with a smile. LOL I just replied back "Oh, is that so?". LOL

She wants to be outside all the time. Walking into the house from work, she will walk over to me and say "Outside". She gets home with daddio about an hour before I do and she is so desperate to go outside. She loves to play on the porch, climb down the stairs (unlike me, falling down them with her in my arms, ugh) and then loves to go up and down the neighbors lawns picking the poor mans flowers (a.k.a, dandelions) LOL .. She says "Flowers, Ummmmm"... picks them and smells them. See, she is learning and landscaping at the same time for us and the neighbors by picking all their weeds. LOL

Now here she is smelling the "Good" flower at my house, you remember, those red tulips that keep reblooming every year even with me not digging them up and replanting them over and over. Nope, I just leave them suckka's in the ground and Look how pretty!!! WHen I took this picture, I could hear her snorting in and out of her nose to SMELL the flower. LOL

Yard Sale Tracker

I know there are several different sites locally that host yard sale trackers.. this is one I bookmarked a long time ago and stlmommy.com recently put on her blog too...


http://www.fox2now.com/marketplace/ktvi-yardsale-index-html,0,3350708.htmlpage


I don't pay for the suburban journal anymore so I go to craigslist and pull a list of yard sales I want to go to and print them in small font from a word document. I have a street guide in my car and off we go on Saturdays. How do you track your favorite yard sale areas to visit? local paper? craigslist? another site like the like I posted above? Share your favorite with me.

Let the happy week begin

Praying that this is a happy week for many many out there in the job world! My husband, that he gets a contract extension on his job, that at&t does not strike, or it will put a huge financial strain on my extended family.

Lets make this happy.

Sunday I am thankful for the time we got to spend with a very excited 17 month old that wanted to play outside, even while cold and windy (snow was gone by time we got outside).

Thankful for my husband, daughter and families.

Thankful for a great nights sleep last night (tonight< not looking so good as it is 12:15 and I have to get up in 5.5 hours to get ready for work. LOL)

Thankful for two very very patitent puppies that don't snap at Julia when she climbs on them or sticks her hand in their dog food bowl when they are eating. God BLess then for that!

Thankful My DH cooked the pork tenderloin on the grill (well, at least part of the way since we ran out of propane. He finished it in the oven. YUM.


Prayers and Thanks is how I got through the day today.

we fall down the stairs and then she has her 18 mo check up......

ahhhh, my lovely knee on my left leg gave out on me while carrying Julia down the front concrete steps this afternoon on the way to the ped's office for her 18 mmonth check up. No blood, just scraped up palms, fingers and a little side of her head and Oh my knee. Not so much scraped up knee, but already turning nice yellow and green bruise colors.

The doc looked her over and said she is great, no need to worry about the fall since it was just a wisp of scrape marks on her head and fingers. She must have fallen on my purse for the most part. Nothing better to do this so un-graceful fall in front of the neighbor, who just happened to get out of his suv at the same time I yelled "OH NO" and we went down. He helped check on us both and helped pick up some of the diaper bag items that fell out. Lord knows julia needs her "mimi" (new word for binkie). LOL

I say my MOMMYEGO was just crushed. I had not done anything this bad to our child and hope to never do anything again. No, I won't list the bad things that COULD happen because I don't want to have nightmares about that that has not happened yet.

Julia came in at a slow weight gain, she is now 23lbs 3 oz, which is down to 45% average on scale from the 50 she was at last time. No concerns from the doc though. . let me look back as I think that might be even less than last weigh in, I'll post them later.
Her height on the other hand is 75% at 32 3/4 " tall. I do believe this is much taller. Again, I'll have to go back and check her stats from the last visit to the ped.

Happy 17 month Birthday sweetie

our freebies from today's trips to two toys r us stores

Percy lights and sounds (17.99 retail) and Thomas (12.99 retail). Plus the dvd from little people for their birthday and a coloring page Julia colored there (not in pic). FUN.

We love a freebie.. Thomas the Train.....

TOYS R US.... (no, they are not paying me for this advertisement. )
check out this link to the Thomas the Train FREE wooden train.

http://trus.imageg.net/graphics/coupon/927219.pdf?EDID=PQDXT1-NS2PJ-HIEZCF-ZBA6NE-THM6N-v1

Today and tomorrow only. one coupon per guest , WHILE SUPPLIES LAST.

we are heading there now.

good luck.

consignment sales....... updates

Don't forget there are SEVERAL consignment sale events this weekend..... St. Louis surrounding areas including one in IL.

***********************************
http://www.storklady.net/ShoppersA.htm
Stork Lady's Semi-Annual Sale:
SPRING - SUMMER 2009 SALE
Saturday, March 21st: Open to Public - 8:00am - 5:00pm
Sunday, March 22nd: Open to Public - 12:00pm-4:00pm - 50% off most items
* LOCATION: ST. ELIZABETH'S GYM -1420 S. Sappington Rd - Crestwood 63126 *
**************************************************
http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bab/1079689524.html
MOMMES is having a giant (a whole Gymnasium full) Kids Re-Sell-It sale on Saturday, March 21, 2009 at Metro East Lutheran High School (MELHS), 6305 Center Grove Rd., Edwardsville, IL 62025 from 8am – 12pm. This is a sale you will not want to miss. It is open to the public. Admission is $1.00 per person for all over age 12.

*************************************************
ANOTHER ONE I FOUND ONLINE
Children's Consignment Sale!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Our mom’s group has over 60 moms from the Metro East as members.
Great bargains will be found for:
Children's clothing and shoes from infant on up.
(pajamas, dresses, shirts, shorts, skirts, pants, coats, costumes, etc.)
Toys of all sizes for all ages
(too many to mention!)
Lots of Baby Equipment
(High chairs, baby swings, baby bath tubs, baby monitors, etc.)
Toddler Playground Equipment
Sports equipment for kids
Maternity Clothes
The sale will be located at:
Whiteside Elemetary School
(Just east of Old Collinsville Road on Lebanon Avenue)
2028 Lebanon Avenue
Belleville, Illinois

Saturday, March 21, 2009
Time: 8 am to Noon
www.metroeastmoms.homestead.com

Mothers and More Chapter #126 serves the Metro East area located in St. Clair County across the river from St. Louis Missouri. Many of our moms are from O'Fallon, Shiloh, Fairview Heights, Belleville, Mascoutah, Lebanon, Swansea, and Caseyville, Illionis areas. Please see our website for more information: www.metroeastmoms.homestead.com
******************************************
The Original St. Charles County Consignment Sale

Spring and Summer Sale - March 19th-22nd

915 Jungermann Rd. St. Peters, MO
http://www.recycledkidssale.com/index.html

THIS ONE STARTS TOMORROW (THURSDAY 3/19/09) check their web site for open close times.
******************************************
apparently I missed the 2009 edwardsville kidmania that is held in Edwardsville IL each spring at the high school. I finally found it online after searching again. Shoot. It was March 7th. Dang it. I'll try better next year to find the date and post it sooner. I bought so many things there last year for when Julia for when she was just crawling and into walking. (Time to sell those items now and buy bigger and better toys. LOL)
****************
huge kids resale. Established location ( we've been there for 7 years) Looking for consigners for a childrens resale in ofallon,mo on Friday may 8 and saturday May 9th. Only 20 percent comission ( not 30 like all the rest!!!). 10.00 holds you a spot in a great sale that is sure to make you some extra cash!! all details including contact info is posted on our website www.momsofmultiplekidssale.com Check ii out!!!

huge childrens resale (ofallon, mo)
Reply to: sale-msfa5-1101584806@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-03-31, 9:24PM CDT


huge childrens resale friday may 8 from 7-9pm and sat may 9th from 7-11 am most items half price on sat may 9th from 1130-100. Consigners wanted !! We are the only sale in st charles county who only take a 20 percent consigning fee. see our website for details www.momsofmultiplekidssale.com or contact Jhelland8663@yahoo.com

*******************
I also found this on craigslist today.... not sure if anyone else has heard about this, but I'll list it here...maybe they will post more about the sale there soon.


Big Kids Consignment Sale - $7 (Wentzville)
Reply to: sale-htut3-1080005974@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-03-17, 10:58PM CDT


We are having a kids consignment sale to raise money for the American Legion Auxiliary Unit 323. It's only $7 to register as a consigner and you receive 70% of your sales. For more information, please email us. It is April 25-28 at the American Legion Hall in Wentzville.

lack of words equals more pictures to post of fellow adoptive moms and kiddo's

All three kiddo's here are adopted through the same agency! Thanks to the mommy in the middle having let us know of A Gift of Hope Adoptions just prior to the birth of their son Liam, we signed with that same agency. All 3 of us mommies know each other from attending the former local infertility support group. So glad we met and now have 3 beautiful children to make our lives so full of love!
Landon, Liam, Julia (Richelle, Cindy & myself).



Julia in daddy's truck on the way back from her friend Landon's birthday party sporting her new cool sunglasses from her friend Liam. (ssssshhhhh, we are working on the bottle issue!! I know, I know, she should be off it, but honestly, I think she and I are just not ready. We will get the talk from the Ped at her next appointment in 2 weeks so the breaking of the bottle and bink are coming soon!)

Hockey and Baseball all in one day...

I just sat down to check my email. Prior to that I changed the tv channels to the St. Louis Cardinals baseball preseason game in FL against Atlanta Braves. Sweet. Nice to get into the baseball thinking mode. Then I tuned in the other satellite station to the St. Louis Blues Hockey game. Ahhhhh, no better sports day than this.

We went to a mouse race fund raiser last night and had a blast. The cause is for a great friend of the family that is fighting ovarian cancer. mid-40's and fighting cancer. Just sucks, but she is doing well and was so happy to see us all last night. While participating in the card mouse game and the mouse races (well, actually they were gerbils, LOL) they held an auction. I knew there would be Cardinals Baseball items to bid on. DH and I both looked at each other and set a limit on our bidding since we just got our tax return back. WE WON a split bid on eight Diamond box seat tickets and on field viewing of batting practice with group pictures pre-game. OMG. I am so freaking excited. All we need to do is set up the date with the vp of sales that was there last night at the event. OMG.. I am so excited. We have never bought nor bid on something like this before.

So we have 4 tickets. I wonder if they will let us take Julia and maybe one our nephews with us for our 4 tickets.. if not then we need to talk about who we will invite for the other two seats. My Aunt, uncle, his sister and brother-in-law split the other 4 tickets. I don't know if we can all do the same game, but how exciting as a life-long St. Louis Cardinals baseball fan to be able to do this. I am excited about the 2009 season for the Cardinals so this takes it to a whole new level of excitement.

I truely feel as though we are getting out of the season of cold and into the season of Spring and renewed love of Sports.

GO BLUES. I really hope they can get into the playoffs. shhuuuuu, I know, I don't want to jinx the good run they are having. OH man, the blues almost scored as I am typing this. hinote tried hard. GO BLUES

Oh, the other night we were watching the Blues game and I was telling Julia that this was "Hockey" and she tried hard to repeat the word. She is looking at the screen now and said "hooociiieeee". I love it.

Have a great day.

Time Outs, already?

Julia just has had her first day of time out with her babysitter (Aunt Chris, my sister). J has been hitting, spitting at Aunt Chris and her cousins so I told her to start with the time out corner and she did. First time this morning (sister just called me), it took her 20 tries to get Julia to stay in time out for 1 minute. We use 1 minute for each age of the child that they have to stay in time out before they can leave time out and then say they are sorry and or a full apology to the child or person they did something to. Discipline is good. I like time outs if you really work them for the benefit of the child to understand that they need to pay a consequence of quiet punishment time in time out and to realize what they did was wrong.

So now I am working on a time out place in our house. Wall by the doorway between the dining room and the hallway.

Hitting, spitting and kicking provoked the necessity of time out this past week. My sister and I see a lot alike with our discipline with kids so that helps so much for us as husband and wife to be able to do this at home with our daughter too.

Seeing them eye to eye level after the 1 minute is over for her and discussing what the reason was that we put her there for is so worth it each time plus having her say sorry and in the future to give a full apology to that person she did this bad act to will teach her to not be mean again.

How did you institute time outs?

WOW... pictures of Julia and some links to some freebies...

I am all for freebies..... I often browse other sites so let me share these all with you. I got the links from an email I get often from Money Saving Mom blog

Arby's Roast burger for free with purchase of soft drink: http://www.arbys.com/arbyscoupon/?cid=bn_yahoo300x250030509

Baski n Robbins coupon for one free Sundae:
http://www.baskinrobbins.com/coupon/20090328BOGOSundae.html?cid=469973&jid=12790868&mc=XX&eid=900285&cmpid=email_ext_000016_4

Make sure you use an email you are ok with getting surveys and such from the company if you do fill out your address info. I get free samples from different companies all the time. I love it

HUGGIES diapers coupons... $5 off 1 or $3 off 1... also watch for the Walgreens circular in a week and they have these huggies on sale so you SAVE BIG plus watch what their register rewards are for that week. EVEN BIGGER savings. I love being frugal and this is the way to do it.
I don't usually stock pile, but at great savings like this, you can't pass it up especially if Target is still more expensive after coupons!!!!!!!!!!


Here are a few pictures of my sweetheart 17 month old. I know, you moms all gush over your babies growing up so fast too so I thought I would gush here also. This past week she has started putting 2 and 3 words together. FUN. We had a blast at the zoo yesterday so I'll post pictures from there later this week. Also I'll try and blog about my feelings of late with the adoption side of things. I ache for not having contact with J's birthfamily anymore, especially since birthdays are coming up again. I still have Christmas Gifts here for them too. I am so afraid to mail them off. More on that later this week. stay tuned.

a meme day.. well kind of

I took charge and took Friday off so I could go to the zoo with my daughter, sister, 2 of her kids and my brothers 3 kids. FUN.

Suppose to be 68 degrees and SUNNY. I might have to bring the sunscreen. Bring it on. Yeah. CHarge up the camera. bring some snacks and go have fun. I plan on it.

anyone else going friday?

Pain of endomitriosis

Even after having had my fully involved adenomyosis filled uterus removed in a partial laproscopic vaginal assisted hysterectomy, I still have endometriosis pain. I am near calling the ever so trusting gyn / doc and asking him to consider putting me on the list late summer to early fall for surgery to remove what might be growing in my abdomen again.

You see, along with my doctors recommendation, I agreed to leave my ovaries in after having my LAVH partial hysterecomy in May 2006 after having had 5 miscarriages (including two sets of twins) and two tubal pregnancies. The adnomyosis was so bad after having my uterus removed that my doc told my husband in the waiting room that I just knew my body and knew it so well that I had something major wrong with my ute. Believe me, I am so relieved to not have to go through the monthly god-awful pain and 8-10 day long clot filled menstral cycles. I had proven that I could not carry a pregancy past 10 weeks gestation and I was not going to live my life with a purse filled (VERY LARGE PURSE, mind you) with nearly a box of 40 tampons and at least 7 pads a day. Yes, you read that right. It was that bad. I was done. Take it out and let me begin, with my husbands love and help, to build our family through either surrogacy and or adoption. (Thanks to the love of our daughters birthmother, we are proud adoptive parents now).

Ok, gotta go to bed, the sleeping pill has kicked in. I will promise to continue this tomorrow.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis

Singing songs and rhymes....

So what songs and rhymes do you sing to your toddlers? I need help. Julia keeps asking me and signing to me "more" once I sing itsy-bitsy spider and you are my sunshine and abc... I have few songs and or singing rhymes I can remember from when I was a kid. Help me remember some and teach me some new things to sing to her.

She hears me sing - rhyme...

itsy-bitsy spider
abc's
old mcdonald
you are my sunshine
I love you (barney... sshhhhh, don't tell the hubby I do this because he HATES barney).
the wheels on the bus
a few songs from swim class


I need some more fun interactive ones for her to learn from me... help!

16 month milestones

Feb 18 2009
16months and 3 weeks

You have 12 teeth (4 molars included) and OUCH they can hurt. Biting mommy is not nice, but I guess I deserved that since I was trying to check for your new teeth.

Your hair is growing longer now. You won't let me put clips in your hair yet, but you think it is fun to have my try and you rip them right out. Don't pull your hair out though. It took you far too long to grow it in.

You said "Fire Truck" the other night when we were reading your Elmo flap book and I pointed to the fire truck and asked you what it was.

When you Einstein video starts and the caterpillar goes by the screen, you have learned to Blink with that sound on the dvd.

You reached your arms up to daddy today (2/18/09) and said "I want up". LOL

you are in a size 5-6 toddler shoe depending on who makes them.
You are rapidly growing out of your 18 month clothes sizes due to your height.

You like cubed ham. You tried steamed broccoli and cheese last week, ate a few small bites, but preferred your cut up grapes instead.

You are sleeping from 8 or 8:30 pm until we have to wake you up on weekdays at 6 am or so. Weekends, you sleep from 8:30 or 9 pm until 8 or 8:30. YEAH.

You love to play on your slide climber outside on the back porch.

We had to give up swimming lessons this sesson due to mommy having new work hours on week nights and so many parties to attend on the weekends. Ugh. I hate that you can't go swimming, but I love that you can see all your friends and family as often. I promise I'll have you in the pool this summer as much as possible.

We went to the zoo on the 8th and had a blast talking to the penguins at the march of the penguins and talking to Raja the elephant.

Your vocabulary is expanding so much these days. I need to keep a log of your recent words. I'll work on that list.

When we say "One Two Three" you actually mimic us now, eventhough it is in your own words, you say it with rythm. We have to watch you because at the time you say three, you either throw something or try to jump off of whatever you are on. YIKES.

this past week at your friends' A and V's house, you said "I'm stuck". Today you said "Ut Oh, That hurt". The words are really coming together. Tonight you said "I see uh(you)" when climbing in and out of your LT tunnel.

each night after dinner you ask say "Bath". I am glad you like baths now because I know from experience it was so hard to get me to take a bath at 5 or 6 years of age. Ahhh, I hope I don't have that struggle with you like my mom did with me. LOL

You love the new ball that mommy got you.

I asked you to give your cousin a hug yesterday and you walked over to her and did so. So sweet.

I love you so much. Time is passing so fast and I want to mark each and every milestone, but at least I can write some down here.

2009 Entertainment book coupons

I am so thankful for having searched craigslist for those that wanted to trade 2009 entertainment book coupons. I was able to trade some for some great restaurant coupons and children's entertainment coupons with another St. Louis couponer. We emailed and discussed what coupons we could help each other with and WOW.. I was so pleased. We said we would keep each others emails incase we come about more coupons we had already swapped.

Do you do this?

I also trade manufacturer coupons with my friends, sister and co-workers.
I get a sunday paper each week and look for the coupons I need and give the rest to my sister and or friends if they need diaper coupons, wipes etc that we don't use. What a great way to help others while they help you at little to no cost.

These are my coupons I search for:

huggies snug n dry diaper coupons
huggies sensitive wipes
Johnson n Johnson baby bath and lotion coupons.
frozen veggie like the steam bags. I am starting to get Julia into tring some of the staemed veggies now. Not going so well yet, but I'll try and rotate them out a few times before I give up.

gogurts (i freeze these and use them like ice cream treats for her)
musselmen's applesauce (I buy the lite because it is made with splenda and I like these!)

tide free
dawn
palmolive dish washer soap
snuggle dryer sheets
cottonelle TP
new york garlic bread (cheese)
tyson chicken nuggets.
cheese its
wheat thins
lots of different types of cereal.
instant oatmeal
progresso soups


What is on your list. Maybe we can help with a trade.

how is the waiting going for those of you waiting for a match?

I want to take a moment and reflect on the days of when I thought the world of adoption prep and paperwork and professionals have forgotten about DH and I. We had gone through the process for fingerprinting, marriage certificate copies, medical records and physicals andletters from friends and family that could paint us as great potential parents ........then a sudden lul in the process made if so fearful we wouldn't get everything together and in the proper hands by time our deadline approached for turning in our profile to the agency. RUSH RUSH RUSH .. wait wait wait .. minutes,.... days..... weeks felt so like an eternity. Then the call. Ok, we are done. All we need now from you is the next check to step you into being active in the profile pool. Ahhhhhhhh, it is only a paper check, yet it represented months and years of working hard to bring our dreams closer to reality. A tell all book about us. but hopefully to being Closer to becoming the parents we had already dreamed of so much in the months and months since we finished pursuing eight long years of heartaches with miscarraiges and many losses..fertility treatments that were at best a day in hell for years. Ahhhhhhhhh... the waiting for the phone calls came next to see if a potential birthmother had looked and and liked us so much that she selected our profile to be matched with. Maybe she wanted to meet up in person to talk about things, but sure, she had made her decision and was also, unbeknownst to us, very scared to meet up with us, the potential adoptive parents.


are you nervous along with me?

WOW.. if you can go, go to the St. Louis Zoo's March of the Penguin event

Let me tell you, I almost skipped this event because of the cold weather, but alas we made it. Julia and I got to the zoo around 12:45. walked straight to the see lion feeding event.


This boy (we'll call him a boy) was so loud and kept barking (seal bark) at the feeder to throw him some fish, Ahhhh, yummy he said


Then we went straight over to the Penguin exhibit and went in. There were not that many people out front so we went in and got some great video of the swimming penguins and puffins inside. Julia was kind of afraid of them when they made their mating calls, but hey, it was fun.
here are the King Penguins outside for the March of the Penguins. They came up so close to us. One even went up to another zoo worker who was bent down and played with her coat string for over 5 minutes. SO FUN. Julia was actually scared of them as they came up to the very front of her stroller and stretched out their beaks in her direction.



Then we saw the hippos. This is Julia's new favorite word "Hippo"

Then Raja the Elephant


SIDE NOTT>>>>>> I won't post x rated pictures here, but I will tell you that Julia and I were privy to two .. COUNT THEM .... ONE and TWO different mating exhibits by our St. Louis Zoo animals. First there were the penguins out front before the march that were GETTING IT ON and I mean REALLY GETTING IT ON. Yes, I happened to get that on video. YIKES. I do want to teach my daughter about how animal breed, but I'll save that for when she is MUCH older. Then, while in line to see the Penguins march out front of the exhibit, we were watching the brown bears and saw two Pigeons getting it on right in front of one of the bears on an upper shelf of rock he was resting on. Well, now we know it is mating season at the zoo so you are forewarned in case your children ask... "Mommy, what are those two animals doing?".... LOL

Do you think she wants a nother puppy?

nope.. mommy and daddy have enough to feed with two dogs already.

Ohhh, baby girl, now I know your in pain....

I am very thankful for having a sister that babysits our daughter full time. This being good today because I had to go into work, but Julia woke up with a 104.5 fever. Tylenol brought it down within 20 minutes to 100.1 so my sister said to bring her over after I called her. We take our children to the same pediatrician also so she said to call the office at 9 am and get the nurse practitioner for first avail appt and she would take Julia in today to be seen. Between my sisters experience and my knowing the pattern of these fevers over the last few days and ear tugging, our self diagnosis was right on with the NP'ers diagnosis too.

DOUBLE EAR INFECTIONS for sweet Julia.

YOUCH.

A great blog for those of you interested in reading about adoption

threeyellowroses
This blog is written by a local Adoptive mother of 3 beautiful children through Domestic Adoption. She leads our local Adoption Support group in town and I can't so enough wonderful things she has helped us with through our transition of infertility to adoption, failed adoptions and successful adoptions and all the ups and downs before, during and after. Thanks D for your web page!

Friday Feature or should I say Fitful Friday....

Dear daughter,

This week you turned 16 months old. You are such a hoot 95-99% of the time, the other % of the time, this is what I got when you didn't get your way. Ahhhh, the fitful days ahead of us are already starting to shine through.



Post fitful Friday last week (pic above), this is you hamming it up for the camera again. You smile the biggest cheesiest smile when we say Cheese and point the camera your way.



You are in love with shoes, see:


This week, your favorite phrases or words are "Ut-Oh" if you drop something and then you say "Ouch" if you bump into something, like your head that is too tall to walk under the tv trays now.

You are working so hard on breaking in your two bottom molars. As of today you have 10 teeth and soon to be 12 when those molars come in. This past week you and daddy and mommy have all been battling colds, fevers, tummy issues. Chlortrimazole is the answer for your rashed bum. Balmex burns, aveeno is too icky so chlortrimazole is the best cure. You hate grape flavored medication of any sort.

You lost one of your earrings last week so daddy took the other one out since we can't get one in the hole that you lost your pretty pink flower from. We will get them pierced again, when? I don't know. I won't torture you again trying to put then in ourselves. I just don't know when we will do the ear piercing again. If it is up to daddy, sooner than later. We did buy some screw-back earrings to see if there is less of a risk of not having them come apart and fall out, so we will see.

tomorrow is going to be our first trip to the Magic House. I can't wait.

Happy 16 month birthday week my sweetheart.

well shoot... postponed...

I had to reschedule my sleep study. Bad bad day with stomach issues. ANd again today so I had to reschedule until early February. Oh well.

Ok, Off to tend to my icky stomach.

Please send some healing vibes for this sickly family here in my house. Ahhhhhh

I was thinking of renaming my blog

How about Sleepless In St. Louis? Why, you ask? Well, this is me! Sleepless in St. Louis. So tomorrow I go for my sleep study to help figure out a way to combat my sleeplessness and my restless leg syndrome the doc says I have (I completely agree on the leg issues, let me tell you). I am nervous about the sleep study. Will I sleep? Sure, but how long and how fitful? I have one sleeping pill left and that is going to be used tomorrow night at the doc's recommendation. He wants me to sleep and he said the 10 mg of ambien won't disrupt the sleep study, actually it will help them determine the severity of my sleeplessness and snoring issues.

sure, if/when I lose 70 lbs like I want to, I bet 90% of my snoring will go away, but that still won't fully cure my insomnia. lets hope the doc can figure this all out.

I arrive there tomorrow night at 8 pm. They said that I am to take the sleeping pill at least 1/2 hour before bed time on an empty stomach then they will hook me up to all the monitors. Ha, don't they realize I don't have a bed time? look doc, it is said 12:18 am and I am wide awake on a work weeknight. Frick. I don't read before bed, I do watch tv, but never in bed because DH is in there. I usually force myself to head to the bedroom, lights out and no tv around 12:45 am or 1 am. I lay in bed for another 1/2 hour to 45 minutes before I look at the clock one last time. I have my alarm set for 5:55 am. yes, I have to get up at that time in order to get myself up, dear daughter up, dogs fed, both of us dressed (I shower first. LOL) and then all 3 of us, including hubby head out the door at 7:15-7:20. I start work at 8:30 until 4:30 (soon to be 5 pm, that is another story!) and then repeat the day over. I hate it. yes, I am tired, but not super tired in the morning like falling asleep at the wheel tired.

Naps on the weekend are usually a must. I need to catch up on the weeks lack of sleep.

Ok, off to get in bed a few minutes early. Funny thing about this post is the doc recommended I sleep at least 8 hours the 2 previous nights to my sleep study. HA. That SO did not happen.

Ahhhh, love the beautiful snow. Now the fun tomorrow is to watch and avoid all the idiots on the road on the way to work tomorrow.

OMG.. American Idol was a hoot tonight and watching AIRewind from this past weekend was cool because it was the show from St. Louis when Carrie Underwood and Nikko Smith made it through to Hollywood! Super fun watching those rewinds.

no so much in the bloggity mood when we are all sick

It is Not fun in our house right now, but things will hopefully be better by the end of the weekend. All 3 of us have been passing something around. Dh and J both have little to no voice, couching, runny noses, etc. I have had massive headaches with tummy issues, but I am feeling much better now.

I am home today with J helping her cope with her viral gastroenteritis (diagnosed by the doc on Wednesday afternoon). One of those viral things you just have to let it run its course without taking much in the way of meds to help out. This is my first real test in motherhood with her being this sick (runny nose with teeth coming in is about the extent of the illnesses for her). I feel for her. I can tell she is just not feeling well and wants to cuddle. Thankfully, right now she is transfixed on Yo Gabba Gabba! I have her bottle ready for the afternoon nap and hopefully after I am done updating here, I will be able to get her to close her eyes for a few hour nap. Good luck on that one, right? hehe Hey, at least I am have wishful thinking on her napping.

I don't mind being home with her. She needs help and I'd rather give that than her being at the sitters (her aunt's house) where there are so many other kids to tend to when school lets out in the afternoon. Plus I hear that her cousin (nearly 3 yrs old) also is not feeling well, this cousin is who she spends each day with M-F. I guess J and B passed this illness between each other the last few days. Ahhhh, learning to share is one thing, but sharing colds is another. LOL

Ok, off to go share some Yo Gabba Gabba time with Ms. J.
Hope all of you are feeling well. We will soon!

bargain city is my middle name

The Purple Cow, a childrens resale shop in town, had some SWEET deals yesterday on gymboree and gap outfits(30% off some color tagged items. I also found out they are having a sale starting next weekend. Hummmm, Looks like I'll be filling more of Julia's spring / summer wardrobe.

You can't beat a brand new with tags Gymboree 3 piece Valentines outfit for 12.00, retailed for $54.50. Yes, I am not one that pays much for outfits, but these were too cute to pass up for 12.00. So what if it was the 2007 line, it is good quality clothes and wear very well.

I also got a gap outfit, another 2 piece gymboree outfit and 3 dvd's for Julia there. I didn't spend over 35.00. I usually don't do resale shops, but since yard sale season has not opened up yet for 2009, I was itching for some bargains. ahhhh, satisfied.

Holy crap, I just connected with an old play buddy/grade school friend on facebook. I am so addicted to facebook

A refreshing start to a new year

After yesterday's fiasco of a birthday, I found myself refreshed and ready to fight the fight at work and going into my new docs office for my prep to my sleep study. My doc officially diagnosed me with restless leg syndrome. Well, FINALLY someone listened to my symptoms and got a real understanding that my jitterbug legs are not a nervous tick! There is a reason and cause behind these crazy uncontrollable, painful at times, legs. YEAH. Refreshing to know I was not going crazy. Well, this might be part of the root of my problems sleeping. See, two doctors I had before this dismissed the thought of me having restless leg syndrome. Thank GOSH for this doctor. Go figure, A sleep study doc can diagnose this stuff. Yes, they are qualified. He said that there might be exercises and medications they can help me with after I do my actual overnight sleep study on January 28th. Ahhhhh, I can't wait to see the results of this all. He thinks I might have a mild case of apnea, but the study will show us how mild. I only have 4 days of ambien left and he said I need to bring one of them with me to the overnight study. Shoot. I guess I need to call back to the GP's office and ask for another 15 days worth to get me through the study date. LOL they might think I am drug seeking, but this insomnia is so bad right now. Monday night, I went to bed at 1:15 am, layed in bed for at least 20 more mintues before I fell sleep and then had a nightmare and was startled awake in my sleep. So very interrupted it is. The doc said there might be other sleep aids I can take to help get past the nightmares. Really? ANyone have this issue with nightmares waking them startled? If so, what do you take to help ease them or get rid of them?

I don't want to drug seek at all. Not my game. But I don't want to fall asleep in my car driving to work or even out for a fun night with dh and our sweet daughter. I need to be able to function at work and this is getting harder to do when I am running on average of 4-.4.5 hrs of sleep a night.

Thanks for a good doc that listened today.

Do you all have insomnia problems? The doc agrees I inherited this from my paternal side of my family. So lucky am I! NOT.

Now to get into the allergist and the dermatologist and the chiropractor. Yes. Good Insurance now without that HUGE HUGE deductible to pay per person and treatments of such things as allergy tests on my skin, etc. Fun.

Thanks for all the Happy Birthday Wishes.

I had to work, but it was ok as I am the only one that can rescue the screw up that happened. So that made me feel needed and giving up the day on my birthday to work instead of play was a big shoulder pat for me *maybe only from me, but hey*!

It started off a but rough. Julia decided to take a tumble off the recliner / rocker we were both sitting in and proceeded to smack her head hard on the living room floor. I picked her up immediately and took her to the changing table and ask I swung around to the table, she vomited all over her, myself and the floor. That freaked me out. Projectile vomitting is not fun, in fact it scares me because I knew she hit her head so hard it might be a reason I would need to take her to the ER. I reached for the phone and my sister called out of the blue (7:00 in the am) but didn't get to ask her question as I filled her in on what happened and asked her motherly instincts of what I should do. She said the ER now. I had to call the on call doc to get that precertification and luckily our ped was on call (same one my sisters kids sees). The doc called back and said to remain calm (he must have hear the tears rolling down my face and the panic in my voice as I tried to dress Julia and get her ready to go out the door for the ER. Doc said to watch her for more signs. More vomitting, more disorientation, more hard hard crying, but by this time she had settled down in her daddys arms and was not crying hysterically anymore. Ahhhh. relief. He told me to have my sister (J's babysitter) bring J in if she shows any signs and I was to go to work and have a fun Birthday. LOL Oh I can get myself so worked up over my beautiful daughter.

All told, my daughter has a bump on her head, played and ate fine today and did take a small nap a few times a day. I called and DH called twice to check on her and my sister reassure us that we can calm down now.

Heck, J was flirting with the boys at the next table tonight at the steakhouse we ate my birthday dinner at. Yum. She is such a ham for the boys. tease!

2009 children's clothes and toy consignment sales list

MOMMIES, Ladies, Daddies, EVERYONE... here is your 2009 list of resale/consignment sales for 2009 I have compiled for the local St. Louis and surrounding areas. Please post a comment or email me if you know of a sale I can add to my list!

I'll keep posting new updated 2009 baby/children's resale list here on my blog.

First one so far is: (from craigslist)
The Spring/Summer JBF(Just Between Friends of St. Charles) St Charles sale will be: Friday, March 6th and Saturday, March 7th, at the Calvary Temple Assembly of God Multipurpose Room, 3930 McClay Road, Saint Charles, MO 63304. JBF is easy and fun! Please visit www.jbfsale.com for more information about this great kid’s sale event. shop. sell. save. smart!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
http://chesterfield.jbfsale.com/
Just Between Friends - West St.Louis County, MO.
shop. sell. save. smart!
Our Spring/Summer 2009 Sales Event
will be May 7th-9th, 2009
at
Maryville University-Monsanto Room
650 Maryville University Drive
St Louis, MO. 63141
(Library building)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
MOTC Re-Sell It Sale:
Greater St. Louis Mothers of Twins Club
RE-SELL-IT SALE
Spring/Summer Children’s Clothing (single and twin)
Books and Lots of Toys
Baby Equipment (swings, highchairs, etc.)
VISA & MasterCard accepted
(Additional charge may apply)

When: Saturday, April 18th
Open to the Public 1-3 p.m.
($1 admission per person)
Where: Lindbergh High School
4900 South Lindbergh Blvd.
St. Louis MO 63126
We hope you find the great bargains! The following information will make your shopping experience run smoothly:
1. Admission: $1 per person, including infants and children. For their safety, we recommend that children not be brought into the sale area.
2. Payment:
• Cash and check are accepted for all sale items. Checks will be pre-approved - a valid driver’s license is required for identification. Equipment will be purchased separately from all other items.
• VISA & MasterCard are accepted for all sale items.
Strollers, diaper bags, bags, and boxes are not allowed in the sale.
For your convenience, our Bakery & Snack Bar will be open 10:00 a.m.- 3:00 p.m.!
Directions

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

http://www.storklady.net/ShoppersA.htm
Stork Lady's Semi-Annual Sale:
SPRING - SUMMER 2009 SALE
Saturday, March 21st: Open to Public - 8:00am - 5:00pm
Sunday, March 22nd: Open to Public - 12:00pm-4:00pm - 50% off most items
* LOCATION: ST. ELIZABETH'S GYM -1420 S. Sappington Rd - Crestwood 63126 *
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ANOTHER ONE I FOUND ONLINE
Children's Consignment Sale!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Our mom’s group has over 60 moms from the Metro East as members.
Great bargains will be found for:
Children's clothing and shoes from infant on up.
(pajamas, dresses, shirts, shorts, skirts, pants, coats, costumes, etc.)
Toys of all sizes for all ages
(too many to mention!)
Lots of Baby Equipment
(High chairs, baby swings, baby bath tubs, baby monitors, etc.)
Toddler Playground Equipment
Sports equipment for kids
Maternity Clothes
The sale will be located at:
Whiteside Elemetary School
(Just east of Old Collinsville Road on Lebanon Avenue)
2028 Lebanon Avenue
Belleville, Illinois

Saturday, March 21, 2009
Time: 8 am to Noon
www.metroeastmoms.homestead.com

Mothers and More Chapter #126 serves the Metro East area located in St. Clair County across the river from St. Louis Missouri. Many of our moms are from O'Fallon, Shiloh, Fairview Heights, Belleville, Mascoutah, Lebanon, Swansea, and Caseyville, Illionis areas. Please see our website for more information: www.metroeastmoms.homestead.com
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
MEHLVILLE HIGH SCHOOL BABY MANIA SALE Spring Baby Mania - May 2, 2009

M.O.M.S. Club will be hosting their semi-annual Baby Mania (children tailgate sale) this Spring, May 2, 2009 from 8-12. Mehlville Senior High parking lot.

For more information call 314-467-5345.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
MOMMES (Mothers Of Triplets or more) will be hosting their Spring/Summer Resale on Friday April 3rd from 7-9pm & Saturday April 4th from 7-11am. Sale will be at Community of Christ Church, 2790 Hwy K, O'Fallon, MO $1.00 admission for anyone over 12 (this money goes to the church as a Thank You for letting us use their building). The sale will have everything from clothes, toys, shoes, baby equipment, Little Tykes and more! This is a HUGE SALE (a whole gym full plus several rooms of more stuff). Feel free to email me with any questions.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
some of the others I am searching for are:
edwardsville high school sale....

can you think of others for me to post about?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
HELPFUL SITES: (first one is the link to the LA TIMES story on the new federal law that goes into effect Feb 10, 2009 about not allowing resale of clothes and toys for kids unless they are tested for lead. I'll keep updating this because as of today 1/11/09, the law is apparently being amended again. )

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-thrift2-2009jan02,0,2083247.story

LINK TO SITE FOR MISSOURI SALES:
http://www.kidsconsignmentsales.com/mo.htm#stlouis

back to the swing of things

Tomorrow (or is that today?) marks the 3rd round of swimming lessons for Ms. J at the local YMCA. She loves the tub water and even loves the pool more. This class will be the last she will have with her cousin attending for some time to come :(. Her cousin gets to graduate at the end of this class to the next age group. Sweet for her! We sure will miss her until Ms. J can graduate at 24 months also! I plan on taking evening classes after this one until fall. I need my Saturdays to do a few things (yard sales, both having them and attending them. LOL) in the Spring and Summer months plus we go camping OFTEN and I won't give that up. Plus it gives us something to do on the nights that daddy is at his college evening classes.

I booked hosting a Party Lite Party in March. I need to call the rep back and set up the date on another day. I thought the first Saturday in March would work, but my schedule is not allowing it now. Ugh. I hate to change it, but I'll shoot for Mid-March now.

Tonight, Julia was a hoot. She was clingy, but so much fun. I finally hid her "favorite books" so she could explore her new books she got at Christmas time. She has been stuck on a certain 5 or 6 books for the last few weeks and won't look at the other 50 books or so she has between the living room and her bedroom. So I got out some new books for her to read tonight after she went to bed. The other books she was so addicted to are now on the top shelf of her bookcase. I know some may think I am mean in taking them away, but I was taught as a child in school to rotate your books around and I plan on continuing this with our children.

Do your children have certain books they LOVE?

Thank you so much for your support

You all are so sweet to post and give us support through this all. Thank you!

I want to tell everyone that we are feeling so much better after a few days of rehashing the idea of a huge change in the communication/lack of/ with J's birthmother. We respect her wishes and are moving forward. We will always tell J about her birthmother and siblings and other birthrelatives. We have pictures on her nursery wall and always thank her tummy mommy for giving us the gift of a beautiful daughter and we will always tell J of that great gift and love her tummy mommy has for her.

Life throws us curves all the time and we will always try to look on the sunny side of things even if they seem to hurt so much. I will keep telling myself that we didn't do anything wrong to bring this decision about, heck we went out of our way in many cases to make that contact.

I have J's 1 year pictures and letter ready to go, pictures from 1 year to current and started a letter. I do have Christmas Presents for J's birthsiblings and do plan on boxing them up and sending them to them in a few days. If anything comes back returned, we will keep them here, but send the letters and pictures onto the agency to hold for her tummy mommy when she is ready to receive them. The agency will understand this. I am sure they have several situations that they hold letters and pictures for future contact.

In time of this happening, there is a local Adoption support group tomorrow night so this is great timing for the need of support and understanding from the local peers having adopted and or going through.

my heart breaks to say we are now in a closed adoption non-relationship with

our daughters birthmother/family.

This situation is something I feared blogging about. I really didn't think it would happen to us and our daughter and her birthfamily, but it has.

I don't post this with the intention to scare anyone reading this that is thinking of adopting, are in the process and or are already placed with a child/baby. Please understand I write from my heart here, I don't do that often, but I had a dream and feeling this would happen and it has. I really hope this turns around to be a fully open adoption again one day, but if not, I will grieve our loss and move on in due time.

Not every adoption is the same, but I still share my story for those of you that know adoption can be WONDERFUL and yet you can sit silent with fears that can fill you through out the many parts of the day with "what if's".

I feared for the last few months that I might have said something 3 days before our daughters 1st birthday party that offended her birthmother so much that she didn't come to her party. No, that didn't really cause the issue of us not having spoke to her or met up in person with her since.

Issues beyond our control as Adoptive Parents to J run along the line of it being too hard for her birthmother to see J in person at this point in time in her life. I am sad that this is happening to her, but sad for everyone involved, including two birthsiblings she has that we won't see for a long time to come or ever, if I may be so blunt. We only live 20 min away from her bithmothers place right now, but we have decided we will totally respect her decision to not see her now or even maybe in the long long future.

I will never pretend to know what a birthmother goes through when she relinquishes the parental rights of her child/baby. I will never know the emotions she had in her heart each time she saw J in person. Well, now I do know that it was way too painful for her. Thus she has chosen to back away from the contact.

After getting off the phone with the mutual friend L that we have between us and the birthmother, I felt like my heart was slowly sinking into a depressive state of beating. Almost an ache I was not familiar with, like a sob was ready to come out. Luckily my wonderful hubby just stood in front of me and opened his arms up wide and gave me a hug and said we are ok, we are going to make it through this and we know we have to respect her decision to have no contact at this point in time in J's life.

With heavy hearts I say I was warned by our social worker that this might happen. We were prepped by the sworker that we might have a beautiful monthly or so contact with her, but in many cases the contact ceases after only 1 year of contact. This is just the opposite of having gone into an adoption with fully closed intentions from both parties and later, maybe years later that adoption contact slowly opens up and a longtime relationship is established with those parties involved. We are on the road from Very open to nearly VERY closed.

I have pictures and letters for 2 different updates that I will send along with Christmas gifts for both her sistersibling and brothersibling and a gift for J's birthmother. I bough these things with intention of seeing them in person soon, but now I know We won't. We do have pictures we show Julia ever day of her siblings and her tummy mommy (birthmother) and of her birthgrandma also). I will always leave them up on her wall until she is ready to remove them.

J's tummy mommy gave us one of the most precious gifts in our lives and I will always relay that to her in the letters. I hope she knows we think of her and her children every day while we all go through life in the next days, weeks and years.

With a heavy heart and tears welling up.... I say to you to not look at this as a negative post, but more of a bump in the road of the adoption process. I feel maybe one day we all will reunite and I won't give up that feeling either.

our hearts will mend, our minds will soon return to a state of total enjoyment of watching our daughter blossom into a beautiful toddler, girl and teen and so on.

Off to write that letter for her 15 month update to send to her birthfamily.

If you ever have questions about open domestic adoption, feel free to post here or contact me through my blog email.

As I put our daughter in her crib tonight, I told her I love her and everyone else does too! I know that is not a lie!

going shopping with DH and daughter

I want to NOT shop, but it is necessary since DH bought a bass guitar off of craiglist this past week. Yikes. Now that means he has to buy an amp and accessories. Shopping not for me, but for him? Not fair. Maybe Julia and I might have to sneak into the toy store if we go to the mall.. wink wink

2009 rings in with a marathon of the vintage show "Emergency"

DH is watching "Emergency"

hehe

I watched this show religiously when I was a kid. My favorite character was John "Johnny" Roderick Gage. How was your favorite character?

2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Did I just have a flash back to the 1990's?

On my way home tonight, I drove down brentwood and was going to turn east onto Marshall. I looked over to my right at the 66 gas station and took a double look.. wait, a triple look. OOHHHHH MYYYYY GOOSSSHHHHH, Regular Unleaded Gas was priced at 1.19 a gallon. Yes. $1.19 per gallon. WOW. I was already turning onto Marshall so I had to go up the block and then turn around. I quickly got in line behind about 5 other cars that must have had the same exact reaction as I did. OMG. NO WAY WAS I GOING TO PASS UP THAT PRICE. I was near a 1/4 of a tank of gas and needed to stop in the morning before work so why not now. Yes, I had to wait in line, but everyone was so nice, no horns honking and lines out both sides of the gas station for all 4 pumps. SWEET. I scored a good buy. I filled up, bought a lottery ticket or two and then proceeded to recap my locking gas cap (got one when it was near 4.00 a gallon this past summer). I left out of there and proceeded home passing up 4 other gas stations. They were all priced between 1.25 and 1.29 a gallon. I felt as though I had just robbed the bank with such a bargain price at that 66 station.

I love me a bargain.

What is the price where you are?

I stopped to think back to 1986 when I first got my license and had to put my first amount of my hard earned babysitting money into my tank. I recall paying around .75 cents a gallon and cried at the outrageous price then. Never would I have thought that 3.50 was a bargain as it was this past summer. Hah When you started driving, what year was it and what was the price per gallon?

15 months later and I am loving every moment of it

Julia, you turned 15 months yesterday and let me say that you make me smile so many times each day. I have enjoyed this past few days with you over this Christmas week that I have been off work.

I loved watching you try to open a few of your wrapped gifts from Santa and a few from both sides of the family. I am sorry I messed up on trying to record your opening of Santa's gifts and the gifts from mommy and daddy. Dang it. Next time I'll make sure we take some still photos to cover the lack of mommy's memory to change out the memory card in the recorder. LOL

You warm my heart when you call my name. maaaammaaaaaa, you yell through the house looking for me. You do this to daddy about 90% more, but I know you are just a total daddy's girl right now. (I always say, "Julia, What am I? chopped liver" just after you call daaaaddaaaaaa through the house that 90% of the time, but I still love you 100%!

You love to get up on the couch and slip behind me if I am sitting forward. You grab my shoulder and pull me back to "lay" on you and squish you against the pillow back of the couch. You just crack up laughing when I do this. Then if I stop paying attention to you at that time, you will look around my shoulder at my face and just laugh really hard knowing I am going to squish you as soon as you move behind me again. Dang, I need to get daaaadaaaaa to record this for us to put on here for our viewing pleasure.

at least a few times a day you will come over to daddy or I and hand us a book to help you read. Your favorite books are Dr. Suuss's flap book, a kitten counting book, a Peter Rabbit flap book that shows colors. Goodnight Moon. When we read Goodnight moon to you, you love it when we make the SSHHHHHH sound when the old lady is whispering Huusshhhhhhhhhhh. You even started putting your finger up to your mouth for the sssshhhhhhh sound like we do. You also meow when you see the kitties and love to squeak when we say mouse. You also learned how to say "sox".

Tonight, I was reading a book to you about animals and you were trying so hard to repeat the word ALLIGATOR back to me after I would say it to you. Daddy agreed that you almost have it down pat.

Your favorite phrase is "What's dis" and then you point to the item you are interested in. Especially the strand of Christmas lights we have around the doorway to the kitchen. This is amazing that you are putting more than one word together.

You were playing with 3 toys and figured out how to carry all 3 at the same time. You stuck one of the toys under your arm and then carried the other two in your hands to get to the other room. That sure is building your multitasking and problem solving skills!

We have been really trying hard to get the "sharing toys" issue worked out. I know, you are a bit young, but you can't just walk up to your friends and cousins and take their toys. You can ask to share them first. LOL Oh this is going to be fun in the next few months to see how you and your cousin B do with your toy sharing. B is nearly 34 months old and has really shown you how to throw that temper out there if you don't get your way.

I promise you, this coming weekend we will go to the Magic House. I can't wait. I wish it were summer so we could go to the zoo. I know how interested you are in your animal books right now.

I love you and I can't wait to watch the next fun thing you pick up on.

wordless wednesdays - MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS

a quick video for you too....
enjoy

Is there really only 4 full shopping days until Christmas?

Ummmm, dang it, I need to get my shopping done. Are you done? If so, are you done wrapping? I have not even started wrapping yet.

I am 3/4 the way done shopping, but need to get DH something else (since he bought his own gift, rock band), and more barbie clothes for my niece and a gift for my MIL. I can't wait to get this done.

I might venture out this afternoon after DH wakes up. Yes, I said Wakes up at 12 pm NOON... I get to sleep in tomorrow (at least that is what I am telling DH tonight when I go to bed.) ha

Oh, I also want to buy a gift for Julia's birthmother. I think I am going to do a basket of lotions from Bath and Body works. I hope she likes the scents I get her. Don't know when we will see her, but I hope it is soon.

do you ever laugh at your kids when they are full of it?

Julia started twirling around and around while in the living room now. So much so that she gets dizzy and falls on her butt and then laughs. This Cracks me up. I wish I could catch it on video, but she does it when I am furthest (or farthest if you are grammar police) from my camera and she always stops when I do reach it and try to start the recording. Ha. I'll beat her to the punch eventually. I am not really laughing AT HER, but laughing in joy that she is learning things so quickly and having fun doing it.

We had to ask my sister and her family to watch their words. "Oh Sh*t" is a phrase we have thought we heard Julia saying in the last few days. Well, yes, she did say it clear as a bell the other night when DH was putting her in the car. Yikes. We really have to watch what we say now.

7 Teeth are in and the 4 molars are really making her drool gobs again.

I added her to my 2009 vision and dental benefits. Not much more per month so I thought it was worth it just in case. Blindness runs in her birthmothers family so we are being cautious.

I really want to go to the Zoo Wild Lights soon. We couldn't go last weekend due to the exposure to mono and strep. Thankfully no signs here of either icky sickness.

I am working on another letter to send to Julia's birthmother for her 15 month update (27th). Amazing how fast things are flying by since we have last talked and seen her birthmother. This brings on a new subject I want to talk about how contact can change in an open adoption.

We have come to realize that we can't control the amount of contact with have with Julia's birthmother. We accept that if we try to make contact with her, it might be months before we hear from her again. That is just how it works. Last we talked with her was right before J's birthday party. Even longer since we have seen her. We want her to see her, but if she is not ready or wants more time between contact, we just have to accept it to be on her time line. Yes, I get scared that we might not ever see her and J's birth siblings again, but I will never stop sending her letters. I'll send them to her home unless they come back as undeliverable. Then I will just send them to our agency and ask them to hold onto them until we talk to her or when she calls them. I want her to know we are here for her, but we don't want her to feel as though we are barging in on her life or trying to judge her. I will convey this in my next letter to her. I want her to feel that she can call us any day or night and we are glad to set up times to come see them and take them to the park or zoo. I know it might be uncomfortable for her, but she says it is great to see all of us when we do get together. I miss them.

wordless wednesdays

exposure to strep and mono and lott.ery numbers

Well, our daughter has been exposed to Strep and Mono. My 15 yr old niece has been diagnosed with both. This matters because our daughter is over at her house 5 days a week and my niece helps my sister with our daughter each afternoon when she gets home from high school. The poor girl (will call her L), had to go to the ER today due to being so swollen from the mono and strep. See, this is a new strain of strep. It starts out as a rosey red rash on the arms and upper body, then all symptoms turn into throat strep. Her face and inside throat were swollen today so they had to take her in and make sure it was not going to restrict her airway. She is feeling a little better, but is down and out for 10 days.

The timing of this is crazy. Luckily I have 1 vacation day available between now and xmas so I am on a vacation day tomorrow(well, today if you really want to watch the clock, hehe). Tuesday, DH is on his one day of being laid off jobs. (he starts back to work Wednesday). So if we need to keep her away from my sisters house because of my niece, I'll have to employ my Mother-In-Law to watch Julia. My MIL volunteered to help out so that works out so much better than me having to take off without pay.

Also a hard timing issue for my niece with end of semester exams coming up in a few weeks time.

I pray she gets well soon. luckily Julia and my niece have the same pediatrician so we know after a few days time of antibiotics for my niece, the contagious period should pass. I HOPE!

Ok, off to admire the xmas gift I bought dd tonight. Target was loaded with elmo live boxes! YEAH. I debated and debated about buying one, but after having matched 5 of the 6 numbers in the MO lott.ery this weekend (no, I didn't win millions, LOL) , you bet I bought her one. hehe..

edited to add:

I told DH this morning when he woke up that Elmo Live jumped in my cart before checking out at Target last night. He just gave me a chuckle. I am sure Julia will have a blast.

starting to get into the Christmas Spirit

Even with the death of a friend from cancer, even with DH' being in the middle of his job elimination, I have this little flame of Christmas Spirit rising up in me. FINALLY!

Today I attended a Party Lite candle party that my SIL hosted. I didn't think I would want to buy anything. Just not into buying those types of things lately with the money times uncertain with DH's job loss, BUT I found some very very nice items and even booked a party. After hearing the "credit" my SIL got from her party, YOU BET I BOOKED a party. She got nearly 450.00 in credit for items for herself. WOOOOZZZAAAA. The party I booked is in March so the catalog changes next month, but I will still love to get a few items for credit for hosting. So that brightened my day. Let me know if you want to order something.. hehe

I am 3/4 of the way done shopping. Now I am in a much better spirit of the season that I am doing wrapping this coming week. I'll try and do the rest of my shopping this week too.

We are going to try and do the Zoo Wild Light night tomorrow evening if the bad weather does not creep in too soon. We are members so ticket prices are nice and Julia is really into lights right now. She even walks up to the strands of lights DH put up in the kitchen doorway and points to them and says "What's dis", I say "light" and tell her what color they are. She then tries to repeat the color it is. TOO CUTE. I really think she will enjoy seeing the lights. Also there are many blocks in our local neighborhoods in south st. louis city that have decorated every house on these blocks. I MEAN EVERY HOUSE. If you are ever around Francis Park in the City at night in the Holiday season, please go up and down the blocks or Loran, Walsh, Delor, Itaska, murdoch, Devonshire, Lansdowne between Jamieson and Hampton blocks. Pretty cool. I don't do that much decorating because we were vandalized several years in a row. Just afraid to put nice items out still. ugh stupid kids. ok, enough about the hoosier kids in my area. LOL

LOL.. watching cheaters and let me tell you something, that program is to funny. WHat is even funnier, the commercials ... nothing but "adult" type products for ma.le en.hancements. Ha, what a mix of commercials and junk tv.

Surfing at 1:48 am is not good for me. The little sweet girl of mine will be up in another 5 hours. Yick. No sleep for me.

I need to get back on my weight watcher program. Gotta pick a new night of the week to go. Tuesday nights don't work for me anymore with volunteering for my local IAS group, DH's school every Tuesday night next semester and Wednesday nights won't work because I need to sign Julia up for evening swimming lessons and Wednesday nights are my only option right now.

Do you ever wonder how many people go without being able to celebrate the season? I can't do it now, but next year I will adopt one of the 100 neediest families and hopefully with the help of each side of my family be able to make a very special Christmas for some children. I am so thankful my parents made the best of the season with church and family so it is my turn to give back. I did drop my donation in the salvation army red kettle last week, I hope to do that a few more times before the season is over and I do give to the united way so I hope that helps many out there. I am so thankful for what we have. I am not a materialistic person, but I hate to think that even one child goes without a toy over the season.

Yikes again. The Weather 11 team is flashing winter storm watch for the greater st. louis/st. charles and into IL areas. Gotta go buy some rock salt for the sidewalks. Gotta get a new window scraper for the truck and my vehicle. I am sure the stores won't have milk and bread tomorrow. Will gas prices jump too?

I can't believe I have stitches appearing through my incision

I had emergency gall bladder removal (cholecystectomy) on January 31, 2008(It was snowing to beat the bandit that day too). My co-workers drove me to the emergency room at DesPeres hospital in W. County and in 3 hours time I was in surgery having my bad ignorant gall bladder taken out (3rd attack in 4 weeks time). I have an incision about 1 inch wide on my upper belly that apparently is tired of the stitches that should have dissolved many months ago. Now I have an inflamed area in that incision and I can feel a hard item in there... a stitch trying hard to work its way out. If this does not clear up and pop out on its own in the next few weeks, I'll have to go back and ask the doc to take it out. Shame of that is that I won't have the same insurance company so they will probably deny paying the doc visit invoice. Ha.

I am switching from Dh's health insurance to my company's h ins. But my company has not sent out our forms or electronic registration yet. Crazy. It is the middle of December and we don't have any information on what options we can choose from yet. Oh well. I just hope I don't get an infection raging while waiting for the new insurance to kick in.

DH is excited to start the new contracting job he has from the 17th of Dec until around the end of March. After that, I guess he will be at the SSA office applying for unemployment if he can't find a job by the end of March. I really hope this works out. Meantime, he just signed up for 6 hours of college courses for next semester. Looks like he will be able to do his 2 year degree finalization by end of Summer. Sweet.

oops.. the little one is awake. I bet she threw her binkie out of her crib. gotta go fetch it for her. LOL

Have a great weekend.

So happy West Hwy 40 project is opening Monday! (yes, we folk from st. louis call it hwy 40, not 64!! Gotta agree with JC on the radio with that one).

Sad a major winter weather system is going to arrive just in time for Monday morning traffic.

daddy's litte helper

cam you tell we are in trouble with a climber? She climbed from the floor to the barstool height chairs right onto the dining room table at my sisters the other day (she watches J full time). I am signing her up for a tumbling class at the ymca after the first of the year. She is an acrobat already.

I promise a picture soon of her pierced ears. She already lost an earring in the tub at my sisters (they love play time in the tub there) and so she has just a simple gold stud in there right now, but I'll change them back to the daisy flowers like she had at the beginning. She is not really bothered by them at all now.

Need to get to wrapping some Christmas presents and finish up my shopping next week.

Speaking of next week. Monday the 15th is Dh's last day at his job. His end date of employment from the buyout/merger comes to an end after working for that company after 18 years of service. He did agree and is signing an extension to work for them for another 3-4 months as a contractor though so that helps with the income. He still gets his full severance too! So between the severance and the federal tax refund we will greatly benefit (adoption tax credit applies this year! YEAH). SWEET. Sacking away at least a years worth of house payments with his severance though.

Ok, off to bed.

T, if you are reading this, I promise I'll call you on my lunch tomorrow.

We will miss you Natalie.. sorry cancer had to take you

our friend Natalie (see previous posts) passed away this morning from cancer.


tears.


I pray for her family to get through this all and especially her 3 young children. Healing for them will be a long process.


Natalie,

Thanks for keeping those smiles on my face through those rough days of infertility. Thanks for teaching me that mommyhood was possible.

Soaking up the Joys of Motherhood

Today, I fed Ms. Julia a bowl of Apples and Cinnamon Oatmeal. She loved it so much that she decorated herself in it (I took off her shirt before, but forgot the pants could get so dirty too with oatmeal). I took her immediately to the bathtub after eating so wash off the leftover yummy oatmeal.

She loves her baths so this was not a problem getting her to take one in the middle of the day, instead of her every-other-night bath before bedtime routine. She played with her letters and stood up, looked at me with this face only a mother knows (i'm gonna poop face) then DROPPED THE MOTHERLOAD into the tub.

Yes, ladies and gents.... I have been officially christened with the POP in the Bathtub water episode. This is episode #1. I saw this look on her face as she stood up and then heard the plop plop of several gifts into the water. EWWWWWWWW. I grabbed her, yelled for DH to come get her (he was sleeping, LOL) and then I had to proceed in scrubbing the tub and all the toys that were in the tub. Let me say again...Ewwwwwww.... Ahhhh, the joys of motherhood/parenting.

Hey, I am really surprised this event of pooping in the bath tub has not happened before this. I think Julia was bothered that she didn't have a diaper on when she pooped. Ha. She got this so serious look and then looked down and realized it was going into the water instead of her diaper. Too funny. I laughed the whole time this transpired saying to myself and DH... "This is what parenting is all about, POOPING IN THE TUB while taking a bath". Crazy.

Today was not fun for me on the most part due to a nasty day of allergy attacks. I can't wait for my new health insurance to start Jan 1, 2009. I'll have coverage to go see an ENT and get my skin allergy tests done. FINALLY. I have not had insurance for this in over 10 years and never had skin tests done to find out what my allergies are. I can tell you some of them just by experience and how to treat or avoid them, but this testing will allow me the benefit of knowing what kind of treatment will help me from these such debilitating attacks I have ever so often. Attacks include sneezing at least 50 times in a 20 minute period, repeat this ever hour of the waking day. Being woke up out of sleep with huge sneezing fits. Not being able to catch my breath after these such attacks, I swear I have asthma, but never been tested for it. I can't wait for the good insurance to finally start up.

Reason I am getting new insurance is that DH's last day of work with his current employer(Displament / end of employment date was moved up from March 2009 to December 15, 2008) is December 15th so I must add him and Julia to my insurance at my company and Thankfully we have a great 3 tier program to select from. I so hope I can get a decent raise at my review that is to take place soon. (11 years with my company as of Dec 1st. ) Holding my breath on the raise though. Bahhhh

Visit with Dh's side of the family tomorrow with SANTA. We are going to Crestwood mall so I'll report back then to let you know how it all went.

I know there is another milestone for Julia, but I can't think of what it was I wanted to blog about. Ok, need to put a pen and paper by the bed incase I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of it.

Anyone play Bingo around here? Man, I miss going and am bugging to go soon. No, I don't like the smoke filled rooms of the hall they play in , but it is fun to get away for a few hours and relax playing.

p.s. thanks to my loving DH for doing the laundry and the dishes and cooking dinner! You ROCK!

tears are falling, I HATE CANCER

I just found out this morning that our friend Natalie has stopped her treatment battle against cancer. I was getting ready to head to swimming lessons and got the message about Natalie being put into hospice. I just broke down and cried. I can't believe it is coming to reality that she has stopped treatment and hospice is taking over her care.

It breaks my heart for her to suffer the pain she is in, her family to suffer and especially at the Holiday Season that is normally filled with joy and celebration.

Sadly enough, this time of the year brings sadness to my life in the anniversary date of my own dad's death from cancer too. December 15, 1995 is the day that he died in our living room in our house that I grew up in. He was 49 YOUNG years old. I prayed for the pain to go away for him and after nearly 2 weeks of intense hospice care in our home. He took his last breath around 12:45 pm. I was not at his side, but most of our family was. I regret not having taken that day to be at his side.

Cancer is so evil.

I pray for Natalie, I pray for her family(3 kids included) and friends. I dread that call that will tell us she passed, but yet I pray that she is not in pain so much. 39 ears old is WAY TOO YOUNG to be lost to cancer or ANY other disease.

December is way too busy, but I love it

Do you ever find that the month of December is always packed full with things to do that you accidentally overbook yourself for the same time and date for something?

Well, I swear it has not happened yet this December, but I keep dreaming it will. I fear forgetting to write something down on the calendar and missing such action packed fun events. Such as Wild Light Nights at the St. Louis Zoo, or Santa's Magical Kingdom at Jellystone Park in Eureka MO, and visiting Santa of course at Crestwood Mall. We have 2 holiday parties to go to, one candle party, Parents as Teachers come over next Tuesday, the shame of that is that we will miss Julia's cousins school musical :( Oh and the SHARE group is having their candle light memorial service this Saturday at the Angel of Hope garden in Blanchette Park in St. CHarles. We plan on being there as we do have a memorial brick. We bring a candle and one white flower (they say rose, I like carnations). This is the first one we are going to attend in all the 8 years of miscarriages we went through. I plan on bringing lots of tissues.

I have my work calendar written out, but my palm is dead so I had to find a pocket calendar to keep up with things. This brings me to my palm issue. My co-worker got a new Palm Centro. Hummmm, Looks like I might have to buy myself a new one though, not refurbished. LOL See, I get to buy myself a gift because Dh decided to buy his own. I am up for contract and with rebates I think I can get this for very little money. My kind of deal. Anyone have one of these? Or can recommend a phone they really like that has pda capabilities? I am with AT&T wireless. You?

Julia's newest milestone... She heard the phone ring at the sitters house (her aunt's) and looked at the phone and said "who's it?" as my sister was answering it. LOL Who's it? Who is it is just amazing to hear. She put words together. WOOOHOOOO!

words: what's this, book