You all are so sweet to post and give us support through this all. Thank you!
I want to tell everyone that we are feeling so much better after a few days of rehashing the idea of a huge change in the communication/lack of/ with J's birthmother. We respect her wishes and are moving forward. We will always tell J about her birthmother and siblings and other birthrelatives. We have pictures on her nursery wall and always thank her tummy mommy for giving us the gift of a beautiful daughter and we will always tell J of that great gift and love her tummy mommy has for her.
Life throws us curves all the time and we will always try to look on the sunny side of things even if they seem to hurt so much. I will keep telling myself that we didn't do anything wrong to bring this decision about, heck we went out of our way in many cases to make that contact.
I have J's 1 year pictures and letter ready to go, pictures from 1 year to current and started a letter. I do have Christmas Presents for J's birthsiblings and do plan on boxing them up and sending them to them in a few days. If anything comes back returned, we will keep them here, but send the letters and pictures onto the agency to hold for her tummy mommy when she is ready to receive them. The agency will understand this. I am sure they have several situations that they hold letters and pictures for future contact.
In time of this happening, there is a local Adoption support group tomorrow night so this is great timing for the need of support and understanding from the local peers having adopted and or going through.