About Us

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Looking past the nervousness

For some odd reason when we were only one hour away from meeting the birthmother & birthfather in CO, I was not nervous externally. I was focused on what we looked like and how we would present ourselves and not so much the aspect of what it would feel like to shake their hands and sit down and talk with them. I would not allow myself to think of questions before we were in the room. I kept being thankful that DH was with me and was being that rock I needed him to be through ever step of the way, yet I knew he was in some way or another nervous too about meeting the birth parents also in his own way, but yet as my rock he did not show it externally to me that he was nervous in an sort of the way. He stood up and was right there by my side. I focused on what he was possibly thinking and was it something about the social worker , to ask her questions, or was he thinking about what questions we would ask the bp's, I don't know. I do know he hugged me tight when we got out of the hospital door and held me up from falling to the ground wretched in sobbing cries. He is my Rock. I need to tell him that more often.

Hug your husband today. Although he might not express it in the best way verbally, he is expressing it physially or some way or another internally.

I can't wait to see him hold our first child in his arms and see him physially sob with joy.
I know I will be. I will most likely get blurry camera pictures because of my sobs, but hey, it will be a picture perfect moment.


Anonymous said...

I also want this for you so badly. I can't wrap my mind around why this hasn't happened yet. Two people who would make such great parents. You are so inspiring. Such a strong person who never gives up. YOU should be the one to write a book. I've never met a stronger woman when it comes to IF and adoption issues. You should really think about this- or at least lecturing somewhere. Whenever I get down or feel like I can't handle what's happening, I think of you. You provide a lot of inspiration to me. I just wish I could do something to fix this and make a baby instantly appear for you.
-Your neighbor across the "street"

tubelessstl said...

thank you so much. I am not an articulate writer and or speller so I have never let my mind think of writing a book. Maybe one day I can collaborate on one?! thanks for your support