August 6, 2005. DH and I are camping with a group a people we met through camping(fun story, but for later days). We all decided, after lunch yesterday, to pack up the river chair and coolers and head down to the rock beach down at Meramec State Park camp grounds. It was a wonderfully summer afternoon after some drizzle and thunder rolling around us in the AM. There were about 6 kids ranging from the age of 1.5 to 14 or so, they were off playing and having fun in the rocks and catching minnows. The adults, about 12 of us, were all sitting in our chairs in the water watching the drunks floating down the river. After about 1 hour, the conversation turned to a subject that made DH and I face each other and raise our eyebrows and just grit our teeth and zipped our lips to NOT say anything. Mind you the fellow camper adults know nothing about our IF history. The started talking about people and how irresponsible they are when they go and use fertility treatments to have babies. Then they got on the subject of "OMG, I would never do that to have a baby and ESPECIALLY 3 or 5 babies". Again, DH and I kept ourselves hidden under our sunglasses and kinda acted like we did not care about the conversation. We did not even say a word. Luckily the subject changed in about 10 minutes time. Something distracted their conversation and they went off on another tangent.
DH and I got in the car to hop back over to the campsite and we just shook our heads at each other and both said "THEY JUST DON'T GET IT". Meaning, little did they know that they were in the company of two people that have no choice but to use IVF to try and have a child. TUBELESS in St. Louis is my title and that means I lost my tubes to 2 different ectopics! BUT we both understood that if they had all known our IF history they might not have even dove into that conversation. If they had known of our history, then you sure bet I would have been in the water splashing them a whole new view!
Our lives are filled with people that either know ALL our history if IF or NONE at all. I told DH that if the question "Why don't you all have kids yet?" comes up then I will open up and let them know what we are going through to become parents. ALl of them had kids. The one lady even has a sister that has been a surrogate for some other couple. Man, I wish I could afford that. Surrogacy is a very likely way we could have a child or two, but we cannot AFFORD the costs of a gestational surrogate. Meaning we can't afford the fees associated with a surrogate that we don't know. 30,000 is a common dollar figure for just their fee. Then I have to pay for IVF to retrieve my own eggs... another 10,000-12,000 dollars. Yup, I joke you not.
Anyway, I am back to the real working world tomorrow. I am almost done with Harry Potter then I will pick up my Three Junes book and read it for the local book club that we started with fellow friends that went through and are going through IF. It is a fun distraction.
ok, I will try and post a picture tomorrow of what my puppy (8 mos old) "Sadie" did to my house on Thursday day! OMG.. she is in the DOGHOUSE.