when good things happen to you and it sometimes takes a while to sink in, but don't you just love that RUSH of a good feeling that comes out of that sinking in phase? I do.
Today I was going through our finalized home study paperwork (I picked up from the agency last night) and realized that we have been looked at as a "Family" ready to adopt a baby and highly recommended to the governing party that will hopefully approve us in the courts of law when the time comes. The Social worker was very thorough and came to a conclusion that we, "best friends" for over 15 years, are a happily married couple that is "worthy" of adoption and can welcome a child into our homes with much love and happiness to share. I know, that all sounds like puppy love talk, but that is how it is spelled out in laymans terms.
I feel good.
I feel ready to be a mom.
I am scared, don't get me wrong, but man it is a joyous scared, giddy scared.
DH mentioned to me today (while he was at jury duty) that he got several very positive responses from others that asked him if we had any children and he responded with "we are in the waiting period of adopting." I love seeing him excited that others are excited for us. all of them had very supportive things to say and wished us much luck.
Is it that, Luck? Well, I see it this way, DH and I will be so lucky to one day be chosen by a potential birthfamily to welcome their child into our hearts and home. LUCKY indeed. I feel lucky that I will be able to share my craft hobbies, love for the outdoors, love of animals and love of learning about life and living it up with fun times.
We strive for so many things in our lives and becoming parents is our ultimate goal. I can't wait to get down on the floor activity mat with our child and teach them how to extent their arm out and grasp for that one enticing toy that hangs from the activity gym rack. That one that has the brilliant colors and jingles as the gym rack sustains the tug of a tiny little arms and hand and fingers. I can't wait for that moment I can walk into a room and our child will reach his or her arms out for MOMMY. I can't wait for daddy to blow raspberries on his or her belly and make them giggle so softly. I can't wait to watch our child take their first nap so I can watch them sleep soundly. Chest rising with each breath, eyes in deep sleep REM and their sweet little lips pursing the air for a suck of a nuk.
I can finally dream of these things and know they will become reality.
Now if I can only get myself to sleep more than 2 hours stretches, I can then begin to enjoy long sweet dreams. Sure, I know there will be a worrisome dream thrown in there about him or her, but I can take that worry and plot out what I feel will be a possible solution. I won't always have answers to things that happen in our lives with a child in active stature in our house, but I can sure try like hell and enjoy every moment to make it better each day.
Now onto praying and hoping that potential birthmothers come soon and that they can find us in their hearts and lives soon.