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Monday, March 06, 2006

take out the plumbing before adoption?

I can't stress to you enough that going through a box of 40 tampons in 3 days time is ridiculous. I started taking yasmin bcp's for prep to the adoptive breastfeeding protocol a week ago this past Thursday. Well, that makes today day # 12 of solid bleeding and it is because of the bcp's. I can't tolerate them. If you have been blessed with very simple menstrual periods(AF), bless you and I envy you. I have a uterus that is deemed EVIL and has proven to not be worth crap as far as being able to carry a pregancy to viability ........ so after stopping the bcp's now, I get to deal with my AF another 2 weeks longer in addition to the 12 days I am already bleeding. Sorry TMI TMI, I know, but it is my daily dealings lately and I just need to vent about this.

So the pending question is... Should I put adoption on hold in order to book the doc to take out my uterus?

My uterus is useless, I can't carry a baby, it causes me to have 14 day long AF's usually and POOR DH is deprived because I have no libido. LOL

BUT again, should I put the adoption on hold or just proceed with it although I will need to take about 4-5 weeks off work paid medical leave to have my PARTIAL hysterectomy? (I will leave in the ovaries because I refuse to go through menopause at 36 years of age. I can tolerate going back into surgery in about 10 years or so if they ovaries need to come out.

I know this is a decision DH and I will need to make together, but I wanted your thoughts on this subject too. Sure, I will always feel robbed of one of the major functions I was born to do, conceive and give birth, but I will deal with that in counseling.

I keep telling myself, I want to be a mommy more than anything now and I just need to let the sad days of IF roll behind me, never to be forgotten oh no, but in order to put the IF behind me I need to take out parts of the plumbing too.

What happens if I am on medical leave and we get a call from the adoption agency (say post 2 weeks from surgery) that they have a newborn for us. What would I do? I know my mom would be able to help as well as DH taking time off work paid, but wow, I just know that would be my luck. LOL Maybe that is a good thing and I should just go forward with the hysterectomy? Hummmmm



let me know what you think.

8 comments:

Tempe said...

My mom actually just had a full hysterectomy about three weeks ago for uterine cancer. She is in her early 60s. She is moving around great now. Energy isn't totally up, but her age is working against her. To be completely honest and sound a little harsh, I think part of it is her thinking she can't do stuff even though she should be perfectly capable.

I went with her to the consultation with the surgeon ahead of time. I asked how the recovery is compared to a c-section. She said everyone responds differently. It does work the same as a c-section in that you can carry the weight of a baby.

If it is something you will be doing at some point regardless, I wouldn't wait. It will be much harder to have the recuperation with a child running around demanding attention that you may be too tired to give.

If you go ahead and do it now, it shouldn't affect your ability to care for a child.

Your dr may have some good advice on how you may respond.

Good luck.

Pitypat said...

You need to take care of yourself first---be well and happy so that you can concentrate all your efforts on the new baby - when he/she comes. What are you waiting for? NO more AF?? boy - that seems like it would be awesome....but you have to be ready to admit it won't happen naturally. That is giving up a lot. Even though you know you can't naturally concieve - it is giving up the last bit. i know - you have to weigh both sides......

kittymama said...

I had a LAVH (laproscopic assisted vaginal hysterectomy) in November 2004 and I can honestly say I have never felt better. Gone are the horrendous cramps that would have me doubled over in pain for several days during the month and the awful "crime scene bleeding" that I put up with for since I started getting my period when I was 12. My surgeon left my right ovary in (it was practically the only thing in there NOT covered in endometriosis!) so I wouldn't have to go through menopause at 36.

If I were you, I wouldn't put the adoption on hold. If you want to have a hysterectomy, go forward with it and just roll with the punches if the adoption agency calls you with a child. After the first two weeks, I started feeling somewhat back to normal. Yes, I was exhausted and sore from the operation, but I was in actually in MORE pain when I had my c-section 16 years ago.

Women who have c-sections do it all the time - have major surgery and take care of newborns. If you have a good support system (your husband, your family, etc.) you should be just fine.

A really good website to check out is www.hystersisters.com. The ladies on there are really great. Go on that site and read the message boards.

Good luck! :)

Mich said...

If you want to save some PTO for adoption leave, will this procedure qualify for STD or can you take your PTO at 75 or 80% (thus leaving some more time in the bank for adoption leave?)?

Can you work it so that you can have your surgery and still have leave time left? I would definitely take care of this before a placement happens--just think about how much better you'll feel once you've healed!

I'd just let your agency know you've got this procedure scheduled, so they don't try calling during surgery or anything--but really what better speed your recovery than a placement?!?!

tubelessstl said...

Mich,

I DO NOT get paid time off for adoption leave. NOPE. BUT it takes away from my FMLA time of up to 12 weeks off without pay if I do have the hysterectomy now (paid medical leave for real surgery). See, my work does not classify adoption as eligible for PAID TIME OFF.

I will be calling the doc's office next week to discuss the options of how he would do the hysterectomy. I have to put it in my mind that I can't carry another pregnancy to term althrough we still have one frozen embie out there. I can't donate it to science so maybe I can find a surrogate within the next 5 years or so to transfer it to. I just can't do this anymore. I am making my life hell and Poor husband's hell too.

Bloody Crime Scene... Oh so true. DH was horrified at the sight of my miscarriage in 2003 of the twins we got pg with, but this was even worse this month. Ugh.

JennyK said...

It sounds like this surgery is an important step for you in getting on with the rest of your life. I would go for it. Your worst case scenario -- getting the adoption call at an inopportune time -- is *still* good news....

Spangle said...

I agree with everyone else hun, i would speak to a Doc and do it, do it now before a little one arrives. Why suffer and put yourself through that every month? With the medical advances these days a hysterectomy dosent take as long to get over as it once did.

Think of the money you will save in not buying tampons!lmao you could buy so many baby clothes with that money!

Good luck and as always lots of love

Christine said...

I understand what one woman said - post c-section and caring for a baby might be a similar situation if you get a call just weeks after your surgery. Not impossible.

But I'm not sure that I have any advice to give. Just wanted to say hello, because I'm an adoptive mom that has done abreastfeeding and also induced lacation for foster babies.