I started the letter

I know I am not PC on adoption lingo so don't knock me.

DH started a version of what he would want to put in the Dear Birthmother(dbm) letter(yes, it should say Dear Birth Parent, No, I am not PC). I then started what I felt should be the opening line / statement of our DBM letter. So how do we compromise? How do we agree on what, or rather who, should get the say so on the text of the letter? I am not a creative writer by any means, I even find it hard to properly word some of my blog posts. I need to drop my guard and trust DH to say it in his words and then I can agree to disagree on some things if necessary, right? Our adoption agency gave a list of suggestions so tomorrow after the support group meeting for adoption I will get DH to sit down and start heavy duty on the letter again. I will then go to Samswholesaleclubforhoosiers in maplewood and buy the software for starting our profile. I am so nervous on what pictures to put in there. BUT, I know once I start on the program and get a page or two done I will be blistering hot to keep truckin' on the next and next pages.. etc.

I can't thank you all enough for posting to me on the previous post about starting a budget. I sat down tonight and told DH what estimated costs were for day care, diapers, formula(I will try adoptive breastfeeding, more on that later), and food... etc. He was pleased that I had done the research. We are fit with our current budget to have at least the diapers, formula, wipes, etc... covered by what we have been putting in the savings now on one of each 2 pay dates in a month. It is nice to know we have this covered already and can show that on a budget sheet for the home study soon to come.

We will be blessed by not having a huge expense for day care. My mom is insisting on watching our baby when I have to go back to work. yes, I do have to go back. We have put so much money out of pocket (by choice) for the last 6.5 years in hopes to have had a baby by pregnancy and now have to pay for that by being a 2 income household. Which means both DH and I working a full time job each. I would love nothing more than to stay at home and maybe I can find a job that might accommodate that after our baby is placed with us, but for now I need my works benefits prior to placement for health, dental and vision. If I could find a night job working from home or more money with less hours then I would be in great shape. Yes, more money and less hours! hahahaha.. I know I am dreaming, but I can dream and sometimes I have the luck of that becoming reality. I would love to do data entry from home on the pc, but I will have to see what I can find. I thought about taking telecourses for medical transcription, but I don't have the extra funds for schooling right now, maybe in a year or two. I will still cherish my time with our child not matter doing my 40 hour a week job. My mom did it with us kids as well as my dad and we were no worse for the wear in everyday life.

I can't wait until we can take our baby camping for the first time. I can't wait to bring a blanket home from the baby to introduce the scent of the baby to the dogs and cat in the house. I can't wait until we can click that baby car seat in the vehicle for the first time with our baby in it! and I can't wait until I have the first spit up the shoulder of my shirt and down my back and even in my hair. I know, call me crazy, but after so many heartbreaking losses of our pregnancies, I care to have these things to cherish.


I am inspired by my DH to keep the positive attitude through this. Thank you hun. You make me remember that life is about love and I tend to not show that enough to you.