the good the bad and the ugly and oh.. the stinky..

I will leave the good for last...


the bad equals to a busted sewer line in the basement of our house.. Frick... merry Christmas and Happy New Year. This is going to be a costly repair... like 6-7 thousand... hmmmm

my house is a mess and tha makes for the UGLY

my house ewwwwwwww doggieee stinks to high heavens from the rock/soil having been dug up partially last night by DH and bil.

yuck..

Ok to end on a note for good news.....

We got news last week that we were accepted by the INCIID the HEART program to cycle at NYC SIRM clinic with Dr. Sher and Dr. B.... but we emailed INCIID and asked them to consider moving us to the clinic in town in ST. Louis... Well our wish and request was granted. We are set for an IVF consult for January 27th 2005. YEAH.

the good the bad the ugly and the stinky.. LOL

purse, do I really need a new purse for my new wallet?

but of course I do. hehe

off Famous Barr for the next 3 nights. YEAH. it gives me time to shop!! hehe I am taking DH to go buy his tools I promised him for xmas. then off to JCPenney's to return my gloves he got me, or rather exchange them. I so need some new gloves also.

while playing on my new laptop, I turned on Amerca's store dot come and walah, my new laptop is on there. hehe COOL

DH is off work all week and I hate that I have to work and get up each morning and he gets to sleep in.. well, I really only have a 3 day week. hehe.. Thursday is my last Vacation day for the year and then Friday is a holiday for us at A A A.

ok, I need to go to bed..

more tomorrow on the updates for IVF at SIRM NYC YEAH.

the day after

man, I hate working a second job.... due to this I could not go out this AM and go shopping for the good after xmas shopping deals. LOL oh well, what would I really need anyway? I did get new gloves yesterday, but I have to return them to JCPenney today to get a bigger size. Yes, bigger. The XL they sell does not fit my fat fingers and hands. Ugh. Ok, I have to shower and go work my 12-9:30 shift at FB west county. SHame I can't stay home and play on my laptop all day. hehe

Speaking of laptop... I can't download a plugin in order to get into chat rooms, get certain clips to play, etc... hmmmmmm Gateway help to the rescue later.

Lotterywinnings... i won a free ticket last night for the first time in months. Yeah.. maybe this is the turn around of the unlucky to lucky fortunes. fingers crossed.

wireless world

wow, I got a beautiful wireless internet set up LAPTOP for my xmas present from DH! WOOOHOOO

How pretty it is. I will be enjoying exploring the ins and outs of it all and become familiar with the shortcuts of a laptop..like investing in a wireless mouse. LOL I am not good at this finger mouse... ohhhh that sounds bad.. bahahahaha

We had a wonderful Christmas and I am very thankful for DH being such a wonderful DH.... no, not DH in the bad way, but DH as in DEAR husband. hehe

On another note... I am most likely OVULATING... OUCH. it seems to hurt in some cycles and I don't get the rhyme or reason... Most likely the Endo that surrounds my ovaries. BUT let me tell you, I got a nice Xmas Romp from DH and he liked it ..... Vitamins are really keeping the CM abundant. Shame I can't use that to get PG.... tubeless keeps that possibility to a null.

Ok, the latest update on the INCIID the HEART IVF program .... We were accepted and this past week Nancy from INCIID emailed me the following message.

Hi Becky,



We've matched you with SIRM New York City. Your contact there is 

Colleen

Ryan and her number is: 646-792-7476

She is out today but I've sent her an email to let her know you are 

going to

be calling her. If you want to call today, speak to Rachel or leave 

Colleen

a voice message. Do please call right away so we can get you into the

earliest cycle.



Thanks for your patience.



This was our reply.... 

Although we are so appreciative of everything INCIID has done for us and feel blessed to have been selected, because of financial constraints it will be extremely difficult for us financially to undergo treatment in NYC.

To put us in the best position possible, both financially and psychologically so that we may have a successful IVF cycle, it would be more beneficial for us to undergo treatment at the Sher institute locally here in St. Louis under the care of Dr. Ahlering. This way we can work closely with Dr. Ahlering and Dr. Jan Albrecht (Becky's perinatologist in St. Louis). Becky has spoken to Dr. Ahlering by email and he was looking forward to seeing us to consult with us as soon as the paper work on INCIID's end was completed.

We apologize if this causes any inconvenience. We were under the impression that preferring local treatments was preferred and communicated. We live and work no more than 5 miles from the clinic here in St. Louis also.

Thank you in advance for making the necessary arrangements and if there's anything we can do to assist, don't hesitate to contact us.

Warmest Regards,

Jeffrey & Rebecca G

Ok, on that note, I freaked,.... NYC? OMG.. we could not do this.. it would be

too expensive... BUT after a few days time I am considering staying with the option

for NYC. I told my family at our xmas eve gathering about us possibly going to NYC and

they all said they will help us get to NYC and do this no matter the cost... Like

finding air miles from someone and hotel credit points. hmmmmmm Can we really do this?



Heck my mom and sister even said they will go with me if Jeff can't go the whole time.



It is cool to think about visiting NYC... time square,... maybe we can go see

david letterman? hmmm



Wish us luck.

crash, did you hear it?

Yesterday, that crashing sound you heard, if so, was my poor little ford focus coming to a halt under the bumper of another vehicle. ( I was on my way to work, my second job work!)Yup, I rear-ended a truck on Manchester about 100 feet west of Brentwood intersection. UGH. My poor car had to be towed to a repair shop authorized by my insurance. Then we were driven from the body shop to Enterprise on Manchester to pick up a car that was in my allowance of 20.00 per day, well, they did not have one after they said they did. Jerk's. We had to be driven back to the repair shop, get dh's truck (who came to rescue my broken heart at the scene of the accident). We then had to drive to Enterprise on s. kingshighway to get a rental. THEY TOO did not have a car in my allowance of insurance coverage. (BTW, pick up tow and car rental coverage, it is worth it !) The manager of the rental store decided to give me a 24.00 a day car for my 20! WOOOHOOO. I am in a nice Neon and it looks like I will be in it for another week or so. Merry F-ING Christmas to me.

Oh, other news... I think I am O'ing. What a wasted O it is... Tubeless wondergirl here and no way to get pg unless I can afford to pay a well paid doctor to get us pregnant! Another O bites the dust. Sing that Queen song to the beat of "Another O bites the dust". LOL

Off to work again today. The Sunday b4 Christmas and I have NOTHING wrapped and packaged yet to send out of town. Yikes.

wasted day, except.....

MTV2 JAMMED by U2 ......OMG, they so rock in my book. look for it on MTV2 and let me tell you, it is worth the 30 minutes of your time to stop and look at 4 irish lads that have made a movement in these United States and continue to rock on. I cannot wait until they come in concert. The dollars spent on each ticket will be well cherished. I can't wait for a concert lineup to be presented to their fans.

Nada on the IF front. Nothin' yet.. please instill the ability to stay sain while the wait continues.

wishes for 2005 are stirring.

one month...

one month until the big 35. Yuck. Why is 35 hitting me harder than 30 did?

I guess that with "Statistics" of "fertility", 35 is the age that fertility DECLINES. Ugh. one more... UGH

I am so behind in xmas shopping it is not funny. I have finished my niece, nephew and other nephew, but I have many many more to go. I did get my work gift done and wrapped for tomorrow's office "Rob Your Neighbor" xmas exchange. hehe A nice musical snow globe. I hope it is not broke in it's box. I hope I can find something to ROB in return also.

Off to bed. Sleepless in St. Louis was my name last night. I was up until 2 am and got up at 6:30. ewwww

I bought some fleece to try and make something of tomorrow. Wish me luck.

test

test

is too much sleep possible ?

I ask this question because I think I got too much sleep today and now at 11:32 pm I am wide awake. Or maybe is it the fact that my insomnia finally caught up with me? I slept from 3 am-9:30, then again from 3 pm -5:30pm. my body is on overload of SLEEP today. LOL

Yup, insomniac to the tee here. I thank my paternal grandma and my dad for that gift of sleepless nights. I can drive home from the day job as tired as can be, but when I step out of the car I am wide awake and ready to go for another 12 hours it seems. I average 4.5 - 5 hours of broken sleep a night and I am not able to get the nerve up to call my GP for a script of Ambien to help.

Ambien, I LIKE it. REALLY LIKE it and that is why I am afraid to ask for help to sleep with it.

Fear of falling asleep at the wheel also grips me though. SOOOO should I ask for some?

Today is cd3 or 4, I lost count so I will try and keep my ticker up here to keep track of it. I am anxious to get an email from INCIID to find out when DH and I can set up a consult with the doctors to do our 5th FRESH IVF cycle. yes, I said 5th. I will blog tomorrow about my story that brought me to #5.

Later for now, or is it later until morning when I wake up with 4 hours of sleep.

Oh, btw, I finished this semester class of Intro to Business with a 96%. YEAH!

why not?

What have I got to lose that I have not lost already? My sanity is one, but I will choose to keep that TYVM. LOL

Ok, I decided that after a long LONG road on my IF journey to start a place to let the thoughts flow instead of keeping them bottled up inside. I visit lots of sites on-line, but I wanted to keep one place where I can just spill the crap if needed and not have anyone block me from doing that. Sure, I have respect and feelings for people, but I just don't care to have anyone stop me from speaking my mind. F that.

Today begins that dumping, the dumping that I have longed for. here it goes.

After 5.5 yrs of IF, I have decided that I am ready to strangle Dh's family. My bil and sil are having problems ttc, but.. BIG BUT... This is the couple that has told DH and I to KEEP OUR IF to ourselves and (this was just after a miscarriage of our first set of twins) it is our personal business we are having problems ttc, not theirs. Why do I know they are having problems? Well while on vacaiton with them this past summer I happeneed to see sil showing bil a pack of CLOMID. Well hello, dear bekkiboo knows that pack of pills all too well. You can't fool me. So dh asked his bro/my bil if they needed to talk about things, we would understand. Bahahahahahaha Ok, let me step back and rephrase that. I do respect that they did not want to talk about it, but hello?! YOU FRICKIN' left your CLOMID out in the community bathroom at the condo we all shared. LOL

Ok, next issue.... this is good news.. but it will be in the next post!

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