As Jonn Lennon sings

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Here she is

not the greatest of pictures, but this was only 30 minutes after birth. I'll have more later

Introducing........

Julia Marie Gxxxxxxxxx
Born 9/27/07
22:22 hours (10:22 pm)
6lbs 13 oz
20 1/2 inches long

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

What a wonderful day.

speechless.

I promise pictures in the next few days. Off to bed and then back to the hospital tomorrow

hopefully this is the last update b4 delivery

our pbirthmother is contracting and feeling them now with the potocin (sp?) drip. I am at home with DH for a few minutes. I am leaving him here to study for his college algebra test monday night and will call him back up to the hospital when labor contractions bet closer together. I am heading back up there now after putting on some pants and tennis shoes. Shorts are too cold in the hospital and walking is a good part of my visits there so tennis shoes it is.

Wish some good labor vibes for her.

I'll post more when I get a chance tomorrow or Saturday. Gosh, I wish I could have someone update here for you all.

Cheers!

what to take to the hospital.. (courtesy of A Gift Of Hope Adoptions Blog)

This is from the blog our adoption agency's Social worker keeps.............
A Gift of Hope Adoptions
What should you take to the hospital? You should have an infant car seat, a layette set, an outfit for taking the baby home, and a stocked diaper bag. When you first get there, however, leave all that in the car and take in just a few things. If you are there for labor and delivery, pack a few necessities such as an energy bar and water. When you need to take a break, leave the room to eat. Bring your cameras and have a change of clothes in the car in case you’re there for a long time. After a long delivery, your adrenalin will kick in and you’ll be so excited by the new arrival that time will pass quickly and you may be at the hospital for 24 hours before you even realize it. Make sure you have your driver’s license, social security card, and another form of picture identification. Hospitals take very seriously the security of newborns and will want your identification in order for you to spend time in the nursery or leave with the baby upon discharge. Generally, one of you will be given a bracelet so that you can go in and out of the nursery to see the baby, if the birth mother requests it. There are no more than two bracelets issued for each baby for security reasons. The birth mother will be wearing the other bracelet. Don’t be offended if the nurses check your bracelet each time you ask to enter the nursery or see the infant. This is for the protection of the infant and is desirable.

new camera

my digital camera bit the concrete dust about a month ago so I have been on the hunt for a good camera. My pick was the Canon Powershot SD850. Sure, I hate hate hate spending the money on a camera, but my old digital was over 5 years old and ate a quick concrete death so I had no choice. I was not going to buy a cheap camera that only lasted a year. I wanted a reliable camera to be around to take pictures of our new baby that we hope to welcome to our family soon (ha, very soon). I managed to talk DH into stopping by Circuit City tomorrow night on the way home to pick up the new camera. I can't wait to get it charged up and ready to go for Thursday at the hospital. hehe

New camera, now we are ready for a new life.

Man oh man, the nerves are jumping. I about jumped out of my skin when the pbirthmother called me today. LOL She is not in labor yet, but wanted to let me know she got the grocery shopping gift card in the mail from the agency today(we paid for it). So her mom was going to go get some groceries for dinner and for the next few days for when she gets home from the hospital after delivery.

Gosh. I am nervous. Only one more day of work. Only 2 days until delivery of, I bet, a beautiful little baby girl.

I plan on taking 6 weeks off work. 6 of those days will be paid(vacation), the rest unpaid. So I will be ramping up my ebay sales after a week or so on leave. I am safe with my job with Family leave as I can take up to 12 weeks off with no pay, but I will only take 5 weeks unpaid. I think 6 weeks at home will be a wonderful blessing of a time to bond with our future daughter. (gosh, OMG... what would happen if this is a boy? AHHHHHH, Still as much love to be given!).

oh my head is rambling with thoughts and things to do in the next 36 hours. WOW. Deep breath

still

her cervix is still 2cm

but


....



......

induction is set for thursday morning! 2 days past her due date.

Thanks for hanging in there with us. All the support is priceless.

I have more words to post, more random thoughts than anything, but I'll post them later.


stay tuned

Is there such a thing as nesting

With never being able to experience pregnancy ever again (hysterecomy May '06), I will never be able to go through the so called "Nesting" phase a pregnacy induces. Or so I have heard that happens to expectant mothers. BUT the question I have is.........Is it still possible for an expectant adoptive couple to go through the "NESTING" phase too?

This past week I have had my mom and sister come over to help re-organize the nursery. See, I had things in the crib still from last years (June '06) baby shower my family threw us. Brand new, unopened items. Plus many other acquired items from friends and family and yard sales that will help get us through the first few months of life of our first child. So we took down the old broken crib, put up my nieces nice convertible drawer below crib. Then we moved some furniture around, rearranged drawers of clothes and divided them out into rubbermade containers per age specific size. We hung up some cute outfits in the closet (Hubby hung some nice clothes racks in there for more space last year). We vacuumed and then all enjoyed looking at the nursery.

Wednesday night I had my mom over to help with some ebay items and we worked on trying to organize the sewing / craft room downstairs. Tried is the key word. We did not get very far, but at least we got started.

Is this nesting?

send some labor vibes to our potential birthmother if you could! She is doing well, some cramps, some minor contractions off and on, but nothing steady enough to kick start full labor yet.

I'll write more later on a recent visit with the pbm and her daughter and meeting the pbm's mom. I can say that having an "open" relationship has been very interesting, yet comforting at the same time. Open can mean many different levels of openness so it has been interesting to see our relationship develop through the past few weeks and months. Things have gone well, moreso than I ever expected. It will be educational to see how the future (past birth and placement) develops for us as a new "extended" family to each other.

Cheers to a nice weekend. I promise I'll update ASAP.

tick tock goes her cervix

yes.. 2 cm dilated

could be days though.

Deep breath

Don't run that Yellow or RED light at hampton & chippewa

Yes folks, the police cameras are in operation at the corners of Chippewa and Hampton. DON'T RUN THE LIGHTS THERE. My husband was the lucky recipient of a 100.00 ticket in via mail today from the St. Louis Police Department Traffic violation enforcement department. They caught DH and his truck running the Red Light on camera. The picture of his vehicle is as clear as a blue sky and they were able to zoom in on his license plate with the best picture I have ever seen. LOL

Those cameras are both on the stop light overhangs and there are separate poles installed on 2 of the 4 corners that house special click cameras that catch you running the lights.

Yes, DH is at fault and he is agreeing it was a bad thing he did, but he is now laughing about it because he knows he was caught red handed running that red light. There is no denying that via the pictures the violation page had on it.

It took the Violations Enforcement department about 1 month to send the violation "Ticket" to DH in the mail so folks, beware you are on camera and being watched every where, every day now!

Bahahahaha

Oh, btw, this ticket is a Non-Moving violation so it won't go as points against his drivers license, but man, 100.00 is steep.

Oh and btw, if you have a relative that is a cop, forget it, even they can't get that ticket fixed. Heck, my uncle-in-law(a cop) said he knows of a city cop that has 2 violations against him right now from this same camera system and he too can't get out of the tickets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

without your support

keeping my spirits going forward, keeping my chin(s) up, keeping eyes focused on the good, you all have been helping me do this. I can't thank you enough. You tell me this will all be worth every moment we have waited, you all tell me that the pain of the many years of infertility will be showered over with the love our future child will give us. You have all given me the reminders to stay hopeful that our ultimate goal will be reached......... Parenting.

Becoming parents is what it is all about. Our journey to have a child we can teach, love and laugh with no matter the way they came into our lives. Adoption will be that path and what a blessing it will be. Trying at times, but well worth every moment.

We went into fertility treatments thinking a biological child would fill our lives, but after seeing 9 angels go to heaven we knew becoming parents was our ultimate goal. You all have helped us inch miles closer to that dream.

Seeing a woman(birthmother) making this decision of making an adoption plan is of the most surreal experiences in my life. DH's too, I am sure. I will never fully understand what a birthmother goes through emotionally let alone physically carrying a baby she knows she will not be able to parent at that time in her life(his too, for the birthfathers out there). I will never pretend to understand it, but I always ask our potential birthmother to feel free to talk to me if she wishes on how she is handling this from her side of things because I do care to be her listening ear and shoulder to lean on. She said she gets sad thinking about what is about to transpire in her life, but yet she knows she can trust us to be the best possible parents to her baby. Her emotions must be all over the board right now and for some time to come. Ican tell you our emotions are up and down and sideways most days. How blessed we are to be matched with her, to be able to talk with her, share our backgrounds with her and to have been blessed to see the baby by ultrasound. I want to know so much more, but I will let nature takes its course to let the conversations flow as they will to enlighten us to who each of us are, how we grew up and how we plan for the future in an open adoption relationship. We expect ebbs and flows.

this week I plan on putting up the crib, cleaning out and organizing the nursery and craft rooms and getting paperwork ready for my potential family leave I will take from work. I hope to take a full 6 weeks off, of which 5 will be unpaid(ugh) so I need to ramp up my ebay sales too.

It is Fun being busy for a good reason!

Thanks for being here for us

16 years ago today

I took my best friends hand in marriage.

I love you Hubby!

16 years ago today it was 94 degrees.
16 years ago I was watching my husband get drunk with his brothers and friends at our reception in my parents back yard. They were doing beer bongs.
16 years ago today our wedding song was "Everything I do, I do it for you" by Bryan Adams. And yes, I still love that song biotches.
16 years ago today I had the most fun at a wedding reception ever!
16 years ago today I drove my drunk ass husband to the Ramada Inn Six Flags!

Happy Anniversary, my love!

babies galore (adoption update at the end)

yup, in abundance.

My guppy (fish) had babies this morning. To venture a guess as to how many, About 23 of them. This brings the total of baby guppies born in this house to about 75 in the last 2 weeks.

OMG. What the hell am I going to do with all these babies? Well, I do have to mother them to an extent(read: feed them and clean out their poop) so maybe, just maybe this is some sort of preparation for me to become a mommy myself one day soon, right? Ok, shake your head at me and laugh out loud as you all might think I am insane to try and compare guppy rearing to human baby rearing, but for some odd reason I think of it as more of a "nesting" phase I am going through. Heck, I can't be normal like most pregnant women and "nest" so instead I will prep for the birth of our future baby by mothering in other ways for now.

Oh who the hell am I trying to kid? At least I can say I am a mommy to some babies!

So DH called our potential birthmother(pbm) tonight. It was nice to have him lead off the conversation. I love that he is as involved with this all as I am and on the same level as I am with the emotions. Thank the Lord above for us being able to talk openly with our pbm and thanks for DH leading the call tonight.

As of right now, our pbm has one more doctors appointment before her due date on the 25th. Induction is most likely going to happen on the 25th if our pbm does not go into labor before that.

A potential date. Ok, this is starting to make me think of things that we need to prep to get ready for this blessing. Also, I often wonder how our pbm is handling the emotions of this all and she told me tonight she is doing ok, scared of labor and anxious to see how she feels when she has the baby emotionally not only physically, but she said she knows she will be sad to an extent and happy for us at the same time. She wants to see us become parents. I can't help but wonder what her side of the experience is going to be like. I know my heart aches already thinking about the moment the baby is born for the pbm. We want her to be ok emotionally, but honestly if she is not sad and does not cry we would be worried for her. I know the social worker we have through our agency will be there for her in an instant if she needs to talk or just have someone sit by her through this all.

We have yet to get confirmation on how the hospital deals with adoptions, but from what I hear, it is an overall good experience. No, I won't tell you where that hospital is for security and privacy reasons. :-) I'm sure you all understand some of the privacy issues. Our social worker is trying to get in contact with the hospital social worker and we hope to hear about that contact soon.

Ok, rambling. enough for tonight.

Cheers for a safe 2 weeks for our pbm.

lead butt

OMG.. I Swear I posted this a few weeks back. I have lead butt and I can't get rid of it. I need to get my butt up and start cleaning the basement bedroom so I can move all my crafts in there and out of the nursery. My ebay things I mean. I have managed to take up more than one full wall (changing table area) of the nursery with all the baby bottle holders and blankets and other items for sale on ebay.

I need to get the donated crib out of the back of my vehicle and set it up in the nursery and get rid of the crib that is broken(kick bar to raise and lower the crib rail is broke and not fixable).

I need to get the laundry done. Baby clothes that is. I also need to go buy some laundry detergent to finish said laundry.

I need to get motivated.

I will get rid of this lead butt.

Oh, I have to call the local nurse I know to see if she wants to take the 18 gallon tote out of my basement full of syringes and needles from our infertility IVF cycles. Wow, 18 gallon tote is not an exaggeration. I had lots of friends donate them to me through the 5 IVF cycles and FET cycle. I want to pay it forward to someone else that can use them or give them to the nurse that gives lessons on how to do shots for those just starting out in the "injectable" phase of infertility. I know many medications come needle equipped for injection(ie: follistim, gonal F pens), but some medications still need to be injected, like heparin or Progesterone in Oil shots (YOUCH). So maybe I can help someone out there in their path to become parents. hehe.. with the help of syringes and needles. Fun.

On the fly (looking for anwers from you moms/dads out there)

Do you ever book yourself crazy busy with things to do when there are big events coming up in life? Well that is what has been happening for me lately. Babysitting here and there for friends and now again for family, weddings, friends hosting home interiors parties or candle parties and to boot - meeting with the lawyer about the adoption process. I tend to overbook myself when times in our life are already busy with anticipation of a big events that will hopefully happen. I don't mind busy days, but I get so ramped up with things that I don't sleep.

Being busy is good to an extent for me, but sometimes exhausting. I know, you might say that exhaustion won't compare for when we have a baby in the house, right? How tired should I expect to be? I have read baby's birth to 18 month books or baby's first year books, but from you experienced mom's/dad's out there, what should I expect in the way of sleep? I know, every baby is different, but will I get 2 hours here, 3 here? How long did you typically go between waking up to feed, diaper etc for the baby to geting back to sleep?

Tell me something about when you became a new mom/dad that nobody warned you about. Something that came of a surprise (either good or bad) that you will always pass onto new mom's as advice if they ask?!

Lawyer up

So the next step in our adoption process has been deemed "Lawyering Up". We were instructed by our agency this past week to start the process of signing on with a lawyer to represent us as the potential adoptive parents. I had done a little research to find out what a lawyer knowledgeable in adoption law costs and the average per hour runs from 175 - 250.00 per hour. Youch. Luckily we are on the lower range of that cost. This lawyer represents us and will do the legal paperwork.

We discussed the birthmother with the lawyer and we talked legal risks as to what is or is not happening with the potential birthfather. A legal journal will be sent an advertisement for several editions for seeking this potential birthfather. I am still learning what else needs to be done on this part of the process.

today I sat at my desk and realized that OMGosh. this really could be happening in a few weeks time. Birth, placement, court, etc. WOW.. I am getting scared, but luckily I have DH by my side and our social worker and even more the lawyer to cover the legal risks. Ahhhhhhhh. Deep breath.

more tomorrow


pinch me!

I love a great weekend, shame it has to end

What a great weekend for some camping. Even with no truck, we had generous friends take our camper out to Babler State Park and even bring it back to our storage today. Thanks Friends!

The weather was great and we even got a bonus from the St. Louis County Air Show on Saturday. I saw the blue angels flying over us and a C17 military plane also.

The dogs on the other hand were not so great. The youngest and oldest got into two different fights for no good reason. Not that any reason is good, but the oldest jumped on the middle dog Sunday night and attacked her and then again today. I had a nice long conversation with them both after that. Not that talking to a dog does much of any good, but it helped my frustration over them both. LOL

I hope to update more this week on the adoption front. Stay tuned. I have to get a feeling of how much our potential birthmother is ok with me sharing here. I can tell you though that as with the many years of going through the emotional raw stages of infertility, there are also bumpy raw states of emotions to the adoption front also. One minute you can feel so high on the euphoria trip and one moment you can feel almost like you have chest pains from the fears. You know, have you ever been so scared from something that you get short breath and chest pains from the sheer fright?! That is the feeling I get sometimes. Without knowing what to expect from one moment to the next you tend to over analyze the possible good happenings that go along with adoption and the possible sad happenings that go with it too. I will not let fear get me down though. One thing that keeps me in check is the all feet grounding advice from the social worker to keep our feet on the ground even with possible exciting news from the potential birthmother. Keep sights set forward, but be cautious and try to contain our emotions knowing that this could go either way.

Ok, back to my ebay stuff. Sales are good. I need to finish stuffing some bottle holders and get them in the mail for tomorrow.

Thanks for reading and following our adventures. I promise more soon.