This was an excerpt from a fellow poster's (on another infertility support board) therapist . Yes, even with DH and I moving on with adoption as our path to become parents, I often try to explain how We feel and have felt having gone through 8 years of infertility.........
The experience of infertility plunges people into contact with the outermost reaches of their humanity. Infertility is a profound crisis that threatens identity, relationships, and continuity. It threatens one’s sense of the world, it disturbs beliefs and assumptions, and it belies safety and security. It is an emergency that uses up coping skills, and depletes resources; people start to run on empty as their chronic stress levels move into the area of trauma. Infertility can shut people down emotionally, it necessarily limits and narrows; people are functioning in “emergency mode,” a black and white vantage point that oversimplifies for the purpose of survival. This is not the best place to understand the complexities of human interactions, or the perspective of the “other;” this is a time to survive, and everything else may feel inessential, a luxury.
thanks iswari for sharing
I could go on and on about how we feel, but some of those that DO NOT go through infertility might not ever understand where we infertiles come from or how we feel emotionally and FINANCIALLY too. We could go blue in the face trying to put it into different words and expressions, but we that have gone through infertility, whether it be primary or secondary or whatever, we all feel this way as explained above.
Even with us moving our hopes into adoption, infertility still creeps into my life. I am never going to be able to carry a baby, read: hysterectomy due to severe adenomyosis of my uterus, but I still have one frozen embryo in the cryo lab and I often dream that one day we could win the lottery and afford to hire a gestational surrogate to help us with that embryo.
ok, enough for now.