It WAS my due date month

I was due with this last angel baby on July 21st 2006. Sadly our baby did not make it very far along in my womb. I so wanted to have a nice pregnancy after having had 4 uterine miscarriages and 2 ectopics. I so wanted this baby to hang in there, although that lingering thought of doubt hung in my mind and I never got to see our baby flourish and thrive in me. Our baby was a wee little one at 6w1d gestation when I lost him/her very violently at home. I would have been very pregnant right now if my stupid body had not yet again rejected and made me gutwrenchingly miscarry again.

sorry, in a very foul mood today. Just sad for my angel baby that would have been born this month.

I think a call to the doc is warranted. My moods are swinging lots these days. Maybe some of this is caused by my trying to fool myself into thinking I could try adoptive breastfeeding and maybe the progesterone bc pills are causing these mood swings. Poor DH.. I promise to be nicer to him tomorrow.

I sat at dinner tonight and said to myself, I am not fun company right now. I need to retreat and regroup and just grieve this loss of never having a child myself.

off to go watch some NASA channel ....... cool earth shots from the shuttle right now.

Thanks for being here my cyber friends. Thanks for a shoulder to lean on.