Oh wait, did I post here that we were starting our home study again? Yup, we have to start from scratch on the home study since we let our previous study lapse by court dates. I'll keep an update in the next few weeks on this process of becoming home study ready for domestic adoption again. Let the paper chase begin.
mean time...
Julia, you turn 22 months tomorrow, Monday July 27, 2009. I can't believe how much you have grown in the last few weeks. I swear your hair has gained about 1 full inch. YOu were so kind to let me put it up in piggy tails today and everyone loved them at the two birthday parties we went to. YEAH...
You are talking and talking and repeating everything anyone says. We really try and watch the negative talk and the bad curse words. LOL Reminds me of the 7 cardinal sin words George Carlin was forbid to say. No, we are not THAT dirty with our curse words, but you get the drift if you have and or had a young child that loves to mimic your words word for word. LOL
You love to venture outside as much as you can and really enjoy the wading pool at Tower Grove Park playground and wading pool. What a great free event to attend and to get a special treat from the farmers market each time we go is such a fun bonding time. We get to meet new kids to play with and sometimes meet up with mommy's gradeschool friends and their kids (Thanks Jenny).
You enjoyed going to the zoo two times last weekend. Heck, I'd go more often if I could with you. Grants Farm is on my list and Suson Park too again. I want to take you to the Butterfly house soon, but oh the humidity .. Not good for me.
We love the play dates you can have with your friends from my mommy friends that went through IF too. Nice to be able to still talk about what we all went through to become parents to you all. Strong hearts and minds bring us all closer together knowing we waited and tried so hard for you to be in our lives.
You are really getting into coloring (or taking daddy's ink pen ) and drawing around your hands and feet. You love it when mommy does this for you and you can admire the pictures each time.
tonight you fell asleep in my arms in the living room rocker. Man, that does not happen often these days, I loved that. I could look down at your sweet face and watch you sleep. Dream on baby, dream on.
Mommy and daddy love you so much.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
10 years ago today started our journey through infertility and miscarriages
July 16th 1999, I was wheeled out of work on a stretcher with horrible abdominal pains. I got to the ER and found out that I was pregnant (after 6 months of no pills) only to find out it was the beginning of a crazy road of a malformed uterus and an ectopic pregnancy. This started our journey on a long 8.5 year road of infertility and miscarriages.
They had found a heart beat in the tube so we knew it would not survive. We had to do a shot(actually two, one in each hip) of methotrexate to "dissolve" the tubal ectopic pregnancy in my left tube. With in hours of the shot and going home, I was in total hives, allergic to the medication to "help" my body rid itself of this toxic pregnancy. Ugh. We were so blessed to have been pregnant, didn't even know I was since I had a "cycle" "Aunt Flow" just 4 weeks prior to that date of the ER trip. I was then wisked into surgery a few days later to remove the ectopic pregnancy before it burst in my tube. The tube was rendered useless due to blockage so we were told in a few months time to try again since my right tube was most likely open.
That day of the 16th of July 1999, I was so sad to know my body was not going to be able to keep a pregnancy. I was falling apart when driving home that next day from the docs office after the shots and just knew I wanted to try again ASAp to get pg. Little did I know it was just the beginning of a long heart-gut wrenching journey that would bring us a total of 9 heavenly angels and no biological earth angels. Multiple miscarriages, total of two tubal ectopic pregnancies and no live earth angels.
Thankfully after those 8.5 years, we took our journey to become parents into the world of adoption and are so blessed with our daughter, Julia. She is 21 months old and is the light of our lives. Never did I guess my road to motherhood or Jeff's road to fatherhood would take us that long bumpy road.
They had found a heart beat in the tube so we knew it would not survive. We had to do a shot(actually two, one in each hip) of methotrexate to "dissolve" the tubal ectopic pregnancy in my left tube. With in hours of the shot and going home, I was in total hives, allergic to the medication to "help" my body rid itself of this toxic pregnancy. Ugh. We were so blessed to have been pregnant, didn't even know I was since I had a "cycle" "Aunt Flow" just 4 weeks prior to that date of the ER trip. I was then wisked into surgery a few days later to remove the ectopic pregnancy before it burst in my tube. The tube was rendered useless due to blockage so we were told in a few months time to try again since my right tube was most likely open.
That day of the 16th of July 1999, I was so sad to know my body was not going to be able to keep a pregnancy. I was falling apart when driving home that next day from the docs office after the shots and just knew I wanted to try again ASAp to get pg. Little did I know it was just the beginning of a long heart-gut wrenching journey that would bring us a total of 9 heavenly angels and no biological earth angels. Multiple miscarriages, total of two tubal ectopic pregnancies and no live earth angels.
Thankfully after those 8.5 years, we took our journey to become parents into the world of adoption and are so blessed with our daughter, Julia. She is 21 months old and is the light of our lives. Never did I guess my road to motherhood or Jeff's road to fatherhood would take us that long bumpy road.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
wow, crazy week past
quick ... someone please stop the yearly calendar from dumping us off in to August. I am not ready for August. Ok, back to July. Well, Hubby and daughter went camping Tuesday night. I went shopping. Wednesday night, I went to play bingo with my mom, aunt, uncle and a friend of my mom's. My mom won the horse derby and her friend won split game and got 20.00. LOL Paid for part of her night, but my mom is now being called money bags. She was happy! I might just have to go back and try my luck at the horse derby (pull tab games they play at the bingo hall). FUN FUN FUN.
Thursday night I went to visit my friend, who just had her bone biopsy, and then came home and chilled. Friday I got up and headed down to Onondaga State Park and had a great time. Met up with some other friends there and we all spent the day at the river (or at least Julia and I did for a few hours). They played up and down the bank of the river and doing a mini body float a few times. JUlia and I had to go back for nap time and we did crash. Ahhhh, nice weekend except for the horrible drive home from Leasberg MO to St. Louis. Rained the whole time and I Swear to you I saw a funnel cloud in Sullivan and even snapped a few pictures of it. I'll post those later. I never did hear sirens go off so I guess it was not a reported funnel. Yikes.
This coming week brings me a doctors visit to the dermatologist. I have skin tags from PCOS that need to be taken off. I have a few other moles and spots I need looked at and a blood mole that needs to be sealed off some way or another. It is a dangerous venture to shave my legs with this dang thing. One small knick and it will bleed for hours.
I hope this week brings you joy and peace. Love and warmth.
We are updating our adoption profile to give a copy to the social worker who will be doing our homestudy. We hope the profile is shown to a potential birthmother and brings us closer to our dreams of having a second child soon.
Happy Week everyone.
Thursday night I went to visit my friend, who just had her bone biopsy, and then came home and chilled. Friday I got up and headed down to Onondaga State Park and had a great time. Met up with some other friends there and we all spent the day at the river (or at least Julia and I did for a few hours). They played up and down the bank of the river and doing a mini body float a few times. JUlia and I had to go back for nap time and we did crash. Ahhhh, nice weekend except for the horrible drive home from Leasberg MO to St. Louis. Rained the whole time and I Swear to you I saw a funnel cloud in Sullivan and even snapped a few pictures of it. I'll post those later. I never did hear sirens go off so I guess it was not a reported funnel. Yikes.
This coming week brings me a doctors visit to the dermatologist. I have skin tags from PCOS that need to be taken off. I have a few other moles and spots I need looked at and a blood mole that needs to be sealed off some way or another. It is a dangerous venture to shave my legs with this dang thing. One small knick and it will bleed for hours.
I hope this week brings you joy and peace. Love and warmth.
We are updating our adoption profile to give a copy to the social worker who will be doing our homestudy. We hope the profile is shown to a potential birthmother and brings us closer to our dreams of having a second child soon.
Happy Week everyone.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
praying hard for my friend with cancer
I gained an everlasting friendship through our local infertility support group a few years back. That friend has just found out she has bone cancer. She is surviving 9 years of breast cancer and now this. ARRGGHHHHHH. I HATE CANCER. I FUCKING HATE IT.
I am holding her hand and being there for her as much as possible. Tonight, she asked me to just make a movie night for her and I. YOU BET I will. Next week will be rough for her and I hope to be there for her when she need to go laugh it up at a movie of her choice.
I told her tonight. Friends like you are precious and few. It is a saying I have seen throughout my life and it applies so much to our friendship over these few years and MANY MORE TO COME.
K, I love you girl, don't let your chin fall, if you feel it falling, let me pick it up and hold you through this.
I am holding her hand and being there for her as much as possible. Tonight, she asked me to just make a movie night for her and I. YOU BET I will. Next week will be rough for her and I hope to be there for her when she need to go laugh it up at a movie of her choice.
I told her tonight. Friends like you are precious and few. It is a saying I have seen throughout my life and it applies so much to our friendship over these few years and MANY MORE TO COME.
K, I love you girl, don't let your chin fall, if you feel it falling, let me pick it up and hold you through this.
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