This is the hardest season for many who are trying to have a baby through fertility treatments and those that are on the waiting list or searching for a potential birth family to be matched with.
When I was doing treatment cycles with the RE (reproductive endocrinologist), I always dreaded the holiday season. I just could not get into it. I do 3/4 of the shopping needed for nieces and nephews so it was something I did dredge through each year. Don't get me wrong, I am appreciative of my friends and family and the gifts they gave, but there was always something missing.
I feel for you, all of you, that are still out there trying to grow your family in one way or another. I know you want to just curl up in bed to a really bad movie (non-IF/adoption of course), but we know many of you have to put on that smile and go do the wifely thing and try to celebrate.
Several years I celebrated with a drink or two in my hands to help dull the pain of being childless at that point in time in my life. Please don't feel alone, like you are the only one out there in this pain. We IF'ers and perspective adoptive parents know that there is a quiet community of fellow sisters out there that really do understand your pain. (I will always be infertile without a uterus now. I also have one embryo in the cryo-lab waiting for a gestational surrogate. )
I worried that the pain would never go away. It took many years of heartaches, miscarriages and pain to get to a point of having a sense of joy. Please don't give up hope. I know, some may say "whatever, she has a baby now so why would she say this", but I have been there and let me tell you sometimes you won't see the light at the end of the tunnel during the Holiday Season. The waiting sucks and the worries can drive one insane. Please lean on me and your fellow sisterhood that does understand where you are. I admit that what I was trying to conceive and while waiting to adopt sometimes I needed to hear those stories of success to know it really can happen for us. We would reach our ultimate goal of becoming parents.
I say my prayers for all of you each day. I say a prayer for those trying to add to their families too. Maybe DH and I will be there again one day soon when we try to have a second child.
May you have some warmth in your hearts knowing we are here for you.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.