lack of words

you know sometimes in life you hit those areas of being speechless? well, that is the time of my life right now. I am one that tends to think and think and think, but never stop to write things down. I say "you better blog that", but then I never stop to do that and those thoughts are lost. My lack of worded posts come from the fact that I tend to make mental lists of things to do and NEVER seem to put them down on paper. Well, last week I talked to my therapist about this(yes, I still see a therapist after all our infertility issues turned adoption issues, best money ever spent!) and she really got on me about not making paper lists and or journaling. So I started my lists and promised myself I will print them Friday night and start working on the to-do lists to knock some of these things I have let go of. Do you tend to do this also? How do you cope?

I am at a new stage in my life and am ready to get myself back in shape. I am done with this body of mine. It disgusts me. I am sick and tired of it so it is time for a change. No, no diet... just a better alternative to eating. I am PCOS and believe me it is so hard to get the weight down. So my therapist runs a PCOS support group and I am going to get my butt in gear and join in next meeting. POST if you want details for this meeting. She gives wonderful info on proper eating and most importantly, exercising.

Exercising is something I don't like nor do at this point in my life, BUT I want to be a mommy one day that can walk up stairs with child in arms and not be winded once I reach the top of the steps. I want to be able to get up and down on the floor and play. I think the best kind of communication with a child / toddler is one of eye level communication. That means I will have to get down on their level and my gosh when you are overweight it is nearly impossible.

Speaking of impossible............ we will get a call one day soon. It is not impossible to adopt. RING PHONE RING.