Sunday ramblings

I can't get myself into blogging much lately due to being busy with a job change at work and a very very busy little girl in our household. We also went to a fun trivia night for IAS and had a blast last night.

Today we (Julia and I) went to the new Jubilee Church to see if I would like the service and let me tell you that after being raised a catholic all my life (up until I was told I was a sinner for doing IVF to try and have a baby) this service was NOTHING like that. No old style Latin mass, but more of a worship and praise for our connection with God. I do believe in God and I do admit that I lost my faith in God when I was having all of our miscarriages and losses, but lately I am seeking out a place of worship and I think I might have found it now. I do pray at home all the time, but I also enjoy a congregation gathering too because the support can be so healthy if I find the right place.

baby stuff mentioned below....

I love being a mom and I can tell you that DH loves being a dad. Julia is such a wonderful happy child. She is quickly growing out of the infant stage into a beautiful 5 month old (27th) and has quickly developed skills for staying sitting up after we put her in a sitting position and playing with her toys. She loves to grab her feet and loves to grab EVERYTHING and put it into her mouth to chew on. She does not have any teeth, but she sure is biting hard on everything. Oh, she has also started grabbing toys and accidentally knocking herself in the head or face and making herself cry. She realized in the last few days that if we leave the room, she is lonely and cries for us. I love it.


ok, off to bed.

I promise to post more this week. It is sometimes hard to post in the evenings because dh goes to school monday nights & bowls tuesday nights so those nights are dedicated to Ms. Julia time. :-)

Thanks for that phone call from PAT

T , a fellow in town mom and blogger, mentioned PAT on her blog and that reminded me to note that we FINALLY got a call back from the local PAT rep.

We have a meeting in our house on March 26th at 6 pm with the local St. Louis parent educator at our house. I am excited to finally get to meet them, but dang it took so long for them to get back with me. I called them in the beginning of January and they called back and left me a message stating that several parent educators had left the organization, Thus it would be a few weeks before someone got back to me. Well after several weeks they did call and we booked an in person meeting finally.

I am eager to learn things I can help teach our daughter and excited to watch her grow from our learning and teaching her new things.

Has anyone ever attended their Parent group meetings? If so, how are they? What should I expect from the meetings?

I have always dreamed of being able to invest in my child's future by helping her learn and be creative. What an exciting thing I can share with her, as well as DH too. We waited for so long for her to come into our lives and now I want to make sure her eduction and skills are continually growing and shaping her for a functional future in our society. I had a strict catholic education for 12 years, but I did not follow through with going to college until much later into my 20's and 30's. I want to show our daughter that she can attend what elementary school fits her needs and whatever college can help her attain the education she deserves. I know, you might be thinking, "gosh, tubeless is sure trying hard to plan out her daughters future already when her daughter is only months old", but I defend myself in knowing that if you set your mind to something (especially things family is proud of), such as a great education, then you can achieve that and enjoy life too!

Wordless Wednesday

peek-a-boo

can you view this scrapbook?

Make a scrapbook - it's easy!

Friday Five (things to never wish upon anyone else)

1) I am allergic to shell fish so I can never (until medical science can find a new contrast) have a full CT Scan due to being allergic to the contrast dye they use to inject into your system to have the Cat Scan work fully to find out what is wrong with you, if anything. (I could not have a full ct scan when admitted to the hospital on Feb 2nd. anaphylactic shock is not an option for me to undergo this type of procedure. )

2) I can't ever have a flu shot. I am allergic to the carrier that the flu shot is in. (which apparently this flu shot given this season does not cover 3/4 of the strains of the flu out there, so it wouldn't have helped anyway according to the CDC.)

3) I am a bad stick for IV sites. Just ask the nurses at Des Peres Hospital. My poor right arm still aches.

4) Having the flu just after abdominal surgery is not the best feeling. Mother nature is cruel in having one sit on the throne and heave in a bucket at the same time!

5) Having surgery and the flu in the same week is not the best way to lose 10 lbs.

Let your imagination title this blog post.

one day at a time one meal at a time.

ugh.. don't eat chinese food only 2 weeks after having gall bladder surgery. Lets just say that you will have lots of trips to the bathroom to sit on the throne after you eat it. High fat foods (chicken low mein and egg rolls) did me in. Ugh Raising White surrender flag on that episode.

Sorry to bore you with my life right now, but it is the light of my day to share how I am feeling. LOL read on if you wish.

Today I woke up at 5 am to feed the dogs. All 4 dogs. yes, we are dog sitting for my MIL. See, MIL moved out that same weekend I had my gall bladder surgery. She didn't move but a few blocks away so we are closest to dog sit for her. She had knee surgery today and needed someone to watch Bailey for a few days. Thank goodness she gets along with our pups. It is a bug play fest in here tonight.

After I fed the dogs, I went back to bed for about 45 minutes. Then it was time to get Julia up for her feeding and changing ...I then turned her over to DH to drive to the sitters house. I am still not up for having her home all day while I recoup from this surgery and flu bout. But I think I might keep her home Friday. I'll see about that.

After DH left with Julia, I went back to bed again. I slept from 8 am until 11:30 am. Ahhh. nice. Refreshed.

I then prepped the house for the social worker visit tonight for our post placement of Julia. This is month 4 of our follow ups and will be our last in person meeting until Julia's finalization date in court on April 16th. Yes, We got a court date for her adoption finalization. I need to chat with DH about putting a small family party together for celebrating her Forever Day with us. See, the social worker just needs to confirm with us that we want to keep Julia and if she wants to keep us. Well of course we said YES!

Ok, off to bed.

socks and thumbs

How the heck can I find socks that stay on my daughter's feet? I have found the hide-a-socks (booties) are best, but now she found her feet and tends to pull them off easier. Her feet are skinny and long with no good heel bulk to keep socks on. So we fight trying to keep them on by pulling long knee high type socks over her pants if the outfit does not have built in feet. How do I combat this? I know, not a major issue, but should I invest in some shoes (like robeez) to use over her socks? Will the robeez be too big? Do they make them size 0? I know some say to not put shoes on a baby until they can walk, but what did you do to keep their socks on?

My daughter has found her thumb. Interesting that she did not suck her thumb when first born, but has not picked up the habit. What is up with that?


off to the doc tomorrow for myself. I am thinking I have more going on in my chest (lungs) and don't want to know if it will cause more delays in going back to work. I'll post more tomorrow. I see both the primary doc and the surgeon for post surgery check up. My incisions (scope port holes) are healing up finally and my abdomen is not to sore, but I continue to fight this flu and I think bronchitis now. I don't have the level of energy yet I wish to see, but I know that will come in time. Those danged antibiotics I got by IV sure killed my taste buds and due to that I have lost another 2 lbs. Since surgery I have lost 11 lbs. WoW.

Cheers and be careful out there if you are having the nasty weather we are here in St. Louis.

feeling more human as the days tick

DH took Julia to the sitter today and I am sleeping in (Well, up for a potty break). I feel much better today. I am sore, don't get me wrong, this was one of the most painful abdominal surgeries I have ever had. And I have had a few with the infertility treatments and partial hysterectomy.

TMI TMI WARNING (too much info below if you don't know what IMI means!)

I had to call to get an rx for a yeast infection. Yes, after 5 days of being on IV antibiotics, I have had to call for help. I never knew a woman could get an infection this bad, but oh it is.

Oh and another thing is my taste buds are whacked out. I know it is also from the antibiotics that killed the infection I had in my belly after surgery. BUT it stinks to not enjoy simple foods.

I have to find a low fat diet to stick to. Any suggestions?

As some of you know, a rather unpleasant side effect of gall bladder removal surgery is the bowel movement issues you have. Ugh. Lets just say I was told to take immodium on a daily basis for a while until my system is healed up in a few weeks time.

Any food suggestions would be great.


Ok, back to bed until the doc calls with my prescription ready at Walgreens


BTW, DH, I can't thank you enough for taking care of Julia while I was sick in the hospital those days and now me too while home.

hello from home

I finally made my way home today via DH! Yeah. Ok, I'm ready to take a nap. I am exhausted.

Well Des Peres Hospital has my residency!

I have been a resident of Des Peres Hospital since Saturday night. I went home Friday from surgery and by Saturday night I spiked a fever and had to come back to the emergency by 10:30 Saturday night. I hope to get out of here tomorrow, but I'll not hold my breath on that one. I think I have a combination of the flue and an infection in my belly where the gall bladder was removed. I have luckily had my mom bring up her laptop today so I could check my mail



I hope you all are well.


I hate missing my daughter and husband. The nurse suggested they should not come up here ... too many sick with the flu. Ugh. I miss them so much.

My Uncle passed away yesterday morning. I hate that I can't be there for his funeral.

I'll post when I get home soon. send some healing vibes if you can.

bye bye gall bladder

I was rushed to the hospital by some co-workers yesterday due to another gall bladder attack. It started around 9 am with pain and belching really bad. I finally gave in around noon and asked my boss to have someone drive me and my car to the hospital. Within a few hours I was taken back to surgery. My blood pressure had reached 170/111. They asked me if I was in lots of pain... Well Hell Yes. So at 3 pm I was in surgery for about 1 hour. They were able to get it removed through the laporoscopy (did I spell that right? After years of Infertility and surgeries one would think I could spell the type of surgery I had.

Ok, off to bed.

Oh, while I was at home tonight sleeping the pain off, DH woke me up to tell me he and Julia were heading to the hospital due to Julia having wiggled out of her strap on the changing table. DH said he had gone to let the dogs in while she was on the changing table and he said he heard a thud and crying. Ugh. He just called and said that she checked out ok. I called our social worker from our agency to let them know and to ask a few questions about reporting this. I am sure she will have a bump for a few days, but thank goodness she is ok.


Ok, I am ready for some sleep. I'll post more tomorrow on both of us.

Wordless Wednesday

baby, u r a star but mamma is falling apart

I flunked my hidascan for my gall bladder. Ejection/fraction rate for the dye to leave my gall bladder was only 17% and it should have been more than 70%. So I have to schedule surgery soon. After having 5 abdominal laproscopic surgeries related to my infertility, I know what it takes to prep for surgery and recovery, but I just hate the idea of any surgery on my body!

My daughter is growing like a weed.

At 4 months 2 days,
she weighs 13.1 lbs.(50 percentile)
she is 25.5 inches long.(80percentile)
and has a 50 percentile head circumference



my poor sister is sick too. man, we all need some healing vibes

How early did your baby's teeth come in?

Yes, this has turned to a parenting blog... So fair warning.


How old was your baby when s/he got their first tooth?

I am curious because I was told that one of Julia's birthsiblings got his first tooth around the age of 4 months and I swear Julia is going to have a tooth or two pop through in a few weeks time. She has no buds showing on the gums yet, but she was chewing on my fingers yesterday and I could feel very hard spots in her upper gums. Hummm, I wonder if she too will be presenting mommy and daddy with some teeth early.

I know, not all kids will be the same on teeth presentations in their sweet little mouths, but how old was your child when they did get their first tooth?

We now call her Droolia instead of Julia because she can soak a bib in 5 minutes. I had to invest in the plastic backed bibs from target these past few weeks and she goes through several bibs a day sometimes.

No complaints here, just curious how fast or slow some babies can get their teeth in.

see, she has drool everywhere! And this was between bib changes that she drooled this much.

Happy 4 months my sweetie

My sweet baby girl is 4 months old today. 10:22 pm was her birth on 9/27/07. I was in the delivery room when she was born and let me tell you I replay that moment in my mind over and over and just smile.

What a blessing her birthmother has given us. What a blessing it has been that a friend through the infertility support group in town (former) emailed us about Julia's birthmother while we were in Colorado facing a failed match in June 2007. And shortly after that, what a blessing that we were selected by Julia's birthmother to become her Adoptive parents.

I thank God for you every Day, Julia. You have made us a family instead of just being a couple. (I don't discount the days as a couple, because that is what brought us to you.)

You are the light of our lives and I am so thankful for you and your birthmother.

the telling tale

while Julia grows up, I try and find ways to incorporate her birth story and tidbits about her birthfamily every day.

Of course reading adoptive parenting books can work for some and I'll be honest and say I have learned a few things, but it is so a challenge of how I will construct every detail of her coming into this world and how much her birthmother loves her and how at that time in her life her birthmother made a decision that best fit into her life of not being able to care for her. Sometimes things just don't fit into place for everyone. I was there with our many miscarriages. They never had a proper time to hit in life, but we made plans to help get us through things and had Julia's brithmother not made the decision to make an adoption plan, we would not know this lovely little girl falling asleep next to me on the couch. Yes, I will be able to tell that part of her life story to her so maybe one day she can tell that story to family and friends if she wishes, but I want to make sure I keep doing that in life and sometimes I fear I will forget details.

I know one day she will come to me and ask me to explain her story to her again and then again. I will do that. I will do the best of my ability to recall every detail. I don't want her to ever think she was not wanted, because that is the farthest from the truth. She was so much wanted by all of her birthfamily, but things in her birthmothers life were just not fitting together to be able for her and them to be able to parent her. They wish for her to have a happy life, clothes, food, etc. That will be done and with so many thanks to her birthfamily for accepting us into their lives to take on that task and life story for Julia.

I pray for Julia's birthmother each day. I don't know how she is doing in life right now. We have seemingly gone from an open adoption relationship to a semi-open with just letters and pictures being sent to the agency for now. This is part of the process. We understood this from the social worker that this open to semi-open or even closed relationship can fluctuate from time to time. It is hard to accept it, but I know Julia's birthmother is thinking of her each day. I know my prayers are reaching her too.

I have to head to work. I'll edit this post tonight and talk more about it then.

scan done now I wait

ahhh, don't you like it when you have to wait for medical test results? The tech told me today it would be 2 business days b4 my scans get to my GI docs office. Ok, so if I don't hear from them by Tuesday, I;ll call them.

that scan reminded me in so many ways all the scans and procedures I had while going through all the infertility diagnostic steps to find out what was wrong with me and even the feeling of laying on the table (no, no stirrups were needed today) full glory hanging out for egg retrievals. Fun. Ask me about that if you want more details.

I got out of the scan in not so much pain, but more dull pain and a mean freaking headache from not eating from 5 am until 2:30 pm . tylenol is my buddy.

Ok a busy weekend ahead. I hope to bring you more of some sweet julia sweetheart pictures.

Like this one:

hidascan

I have a hidascan today to test my gall bladder to see if it the cause of my hospitalization this past week. I will hopefully post later this evening after the procedure, if not, well then I might be in surgery having it taken out if it is bad. Wish me the first option please!

I was told originally to not eat after midnight last night, but I called to confirm a few things about the test yesterday and the tech told me I could eat or drink up until 7 am this morning. Well, I had toast around 5 am so I hope that is ok. I could not fathom not eating from midnight until 1 pm this afternoon. I would have been passed out on the deck of the scanning machine and have a nasty headache to boot. I am so glad I called to confirm this and a also to find out where I had to go. The tech was a little nasty with me on the phone for not knowing these things, but I told her the doc nor the nurse told me what to do. People, come on.. that is why I called you to confirm. Biotch.

Ok, on a better note. DH got me a new palm pilot for xmas. I can't wait to get the thing set up, but for some odd reason my poor old decrepit Dell desktop is fighting me tooth and nail to get this synced up or even letting me install a new version over the old one. I WILL WIN THIS BATTLE Mr. Palm Pilot. Yes. I call it a Mister because men are stubborn and this palm is acting just like that. Ha

On the note of children, my daughter has learned how to full out giggle so hard she snorted last night. LOL

She also started eating apple sauce. She is not sure if she likes it or not, but I mixed it in with her cereal and she is doing ok with it so far. I can't wait to see how big she is on the scale at the docs next week. I know she is super long. Is 25 inches tall/long HUGE for the age of 4 months?