just because she deserves the spotlight!

She's not a baby anymore. Julia's first hair cut

slideshow sunday

http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=3cc0b347c43994486d96e1&skin_id=601

I was so blessed to have been in the delivery room when our daughter was
born. Thanks to her birthmother! Here is a little video hubby put
together when she was weeelittle. We can't wait to adopt again to build
our family and make Julia a big sister.

can't sleep so my thoughts are running wild

I often try to find the blogs of the women I went through IVF / infertility treatment cycles with from some of the internet forum boards I was on. Man, I have lost touch with so many. I have moreso lately bookmarked blogs that relate more to my time in my life now, Parenting after Infertility and Adoption (also those that suffer miscarriages still). I migrate to these blogs that talk about the feelings they are dealing with in the adoption side of their lives, questions they get asked publically, staring that happens when a family is transracially formed by adoption, open adoption, family reactions to such adoptions and how birthmothers/birtfamilies are doing after a placement has been made. (that includes the birth siblings of an adoptive child, like J).

I had to mention to my sister yesterday that if she does take J to the local movie theater that hosts free kids movies that there might be a chance that she could run into a part of the birthmothers family of Julia. Maybe her birthsister, birthbrother and even her birthmother! They don't live far from us and the movie house that is hosting this free event is near smack dab in the middle of where we live and where J's birthmother lives!!!!! I know they go to these free events often because a mutual friend of the birthmothers and ours gave us the list of movies and movie houses they are playing at.

At first my sister was a little taken back that she might have an encounter like this, but after a few minutes I could tell she was relieved to know this could happen to her if she is out and about with all the kids (she has her 3, my brothers 3 and Julia each day (all cousins!! FUN)). I wonder if my sister will ever have "adoption" type questions thrown at her about us having adopted Julia and how is it that we can have such an open adoption like we do. We are honest with people and let them know how it works. Of course we don't share details of our visits, but just that an overall understanding of how we meet and how we let things just fall into place every few months for when we all feel the need to see each other. It really does work out well. I know one day we will all run into each other in public by chance and I wanted to let my sister know this so she could be prepared to answer any possible questions my nieces and nephews might have as to who these other people are. I told my sister to tell them they are our extended family now. J's birthfamily told us they consider us extended family now too.

I love our open adoption and am glad to share the ups and downs with anyone if they want to ask. I am proud of J's birthmother and we are so very very blessed to have her in our lives and for J to grow up knowing they all love her so much!

ok, off to bed. That is my random thought of the night... OOPS.. scratch that... random thought of the morning since it is now 1:12 am. bah.

gotta work tomorrow too. ick

Her first Fourth of July in the outside world...

Last year at this time, J was in her tummy mommy's tummy. We had been in contact with her for a few weeks now by this time last year. So this year we celebrated in grand style.

First of all, here is her outfit. Yes, very patriotic.

She was able to see the fireworks that night, but this was just before the sun went down. She was trying so hard to get our attention outside while daddy was inside with her.



I sat and watched the fireworks with her on my lap. She did get a little spooked and cried at the screamer bottle rockets, but I bundled her up in a dry towel and let her watch as she clung to me in a kangaroo style hold. She loved the fireworks, color and bright bursts. (I wish I had given Dh the camera to show you, but I have this memory molded deep in my heart and will never forget this, her first 4th of July). This is some of the fun the kids (including DH) were having by the lakeside).




Thank you Lord for such a blessing of family and friends and our daughter and her birthfamily.


thank YOU so much!

He cooks, he cleans, I love this man

My husband!

he even changes poop filled diapers for my daughter!

He rocks. I love this man!

I hope you all had a Happy 4th of July weekend. Oh wait, It is only Saturday (or early Sunday).. one more day to go and we are hosting a bbq. FUN.

ut oh.. daughter is waking up. I think she is having some major dream episodes tonight. Is she too early to do this in age?

priceless giggles

Parenting joys of watching my girl grow up so fast

Ok, another Julia first.



I dropped her off at my sisters house the other day. First thing J wants to do is sit on the floor by the back door and look out at her two dogs. My sister immediately picks up the dog food bowl and water next to the door inside, but I noticed Julia had something in her hand right as my sister moved away with the bowls. Her hand instantly went up to her mouth, as it does with anything she picks up, YES, you guessed it... DOG FOOD. ewwwww



I was quick enough to sweep it out of her mouth. Thank goodness.



She is being persistent about crawling behind the end table next to the couch and finding the electrical cords on the lamp. phone, etc... I will have to zip tie them up, but the laptop I can't do that to. How the heck can I keep her out of these cords?

We are hoping the weather is nice on Friday. Please please please don't rain on our parade to Grants Farm. If it does rain, I don't know what we will do. My thoughts (along with my sisters) are to go to the Science Center, but everyone and their brother will be there too.

Attaining a new babysitter, what a heartache yet joyful change

Julia has been with the same babysitter from 8 weeks of age until now at just over 8 months old. Tomorrow is her last day with D, her current babysitter. D lives about 10 minutes SW of us and I drop Julia off there M-F around 7:30 am. DH picks her up. D is a great sitter, but there is a time when it comes to knowing our daughter needs to expand her sights. My sister is now going to babysit her full time in her home.

See, this is a good thing. Why? Well, my sister is one that love to take her 3 children (14, 12, 5) to the zoo, grants farm, science center, susson park (sp, is that spelled correctly?) and to the water park at Six flaggs. Julia didn't get to do those things with her current sitter and I hated knowing that sitter did not even have a car at home in case of emergencies.

The good of those months with D as her sitter are that she was able to help closely interact with Julia to teach her many things. Helped her reach many milestones. It was an understanding that D would not tell us of any milestones reached because she wanted to have us experience them as first time parents on our own. So when Julia started to smile, maybe D saw it first, but she never let us know that. The only way we would know if Julia reached a milestone is we relayed it back to D that we saw that milestone and she just smiled and shook her head. I know some moms wouldn't like this kind of care, but it made me feel good to know I got to see her crawl for the first time, say bye-bye and wave for the first time.

I trust my sister, I know she has raised her children to not be 100% spoiled and makes them do chores and makes them sit down and do their homework each night, plus she really gets down on their level to talk to them if something has not gone accordingly or a little "time out" needs to be instilled. She does not raise a hand to her children and I am so thankful for that. I don't want my child to be around such negativity in discipline (not that D had this happening). My sister will work with Julia on her skills, help her learn to walk, help her learn playtime sharing of toys and just overall have fun each day.

I want my daughter to have fun, yet have respect for her adult figure in charge of her. I know this will be carried over into her life by my sister.

I am so thankful for family being in town and that my sister has decided to be a stay-at-home mom again. Plus she gets to spend time with her other cousins, my brothers children, because my sister will also be babysitting them. No, not too many children at all in one house, just lots of cousins to share time together with.

Julia, I know you will have such fun there. You'll be able to learn to swim, spend time with Aunt C and have nap time with your cousins too each day. I can't wait to see you in action with them all. I'll hopefully be able to go to the zoo and or grants farm with you all soon.

Cheers to family and the support they give.

EWWWWWW.. OMG.. yick.....

Julia is in the living room right on the floor by the couch, DH is on the couch with his foot 1/2 hanging off the couch.. I look over and suddenly Julia has DH's big toe in her mouth.... EWWWWWWW. DH was shocked that she decided to nibble on his foot.

I am sure this won't be the worst that she will be adventurous to put in her mouth.

What crazy things has your child put in their mouth?

Silly Saturday slide show.......my(Julia's) many faces (and coupon links)

LOOKING for HUGGIES Gentle Care Diaper coupons... I can trade up with similac or enfamil coupons!

Ok, here is a slide show I put together of Julia's many faces from the last few months. (also, read below about the coupons I have found online with no obligations to "sign up" with these sites).

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

http://www.bluebunny.com/Coupons.aspx (1.00 off blue bunny premium ice cream quart)

I see teeth in them there gums...

yes, Julia has two teeth popping through on her lower gum. My question is.... is it ok to have them popping forward toward her bottom lip instead of growing up through the top line of her bottom gum line? Does that make sense? Well, if you pull her lip down, the two front teeth are growing out forward towards me instead of growing up through her gum line towards her upper jaw. Can you envision this? I'll try and take a picture tomorrow night to show you. DH thought it was strange too to have them coming out forward instead of straight up. Hummmmm. I'll ask her doc's office the next time I see them. Nothing we can do, I assume. Just let them grow in and then we will see if they cause problems when her permanent teeth start to grow in. Fun.

I'll be honest and say she is not too fussy. Ok, there, I've gone and done it and jinxed myself. I bet she will be a total fuss bucket from here on out. Ha. Oh and she has blisters on her top gum where her two front teeth will hopefully come in. I guess this is why she has been tugging at her ears lately.

I am using the hylands teething tablets and they seem to help sooth her. She got fussy right before bed tonight so they seemed to help calm her down and stop the ear tugging.

I LOVE THESE milestones!

another milestone is that she is starting to crawl. She gets up on all 4 limbs and does a hand over hand once and then lands on her belly and pulls herself along to try and reach for a toy. So she is getting in a crawl or two before she plops down. Ok, Honest, I will baby proof the outlets and cords tomorrow night. I need to tie up the computer cords and wires. I need to move the floor fan to another location so she can't get to the cord and buttons. I need to move the cd rack downstairs so she can't pull it over. She has started pulling up on the furniture and in her crib so the rail has been raised all the way up as her mattress has already been lowered.

Her newest attempt at a word is Dawg.... She sees the doggies come into the room and she screams DAWG (more of a silent g, but it is what I think is the word DOG. So that makes mama, dada, baba and dog.

Oh, tonight at dinner she started shaking her head NO at me when I tried to give her a spoonful of turkey and rice dinner from the jar. DH saw that NO head shake and started laughing. I said "Ut Oh, we are in trouble now". There is no stopping her.

Julia got to experience her first trip to the deep country of Missouri. My Aunt and Uncle bought something like 400 acres of land down in Iron County MO. Not too far from the Tom Sauk resevoir that broke a few years back. We played in the new house the built and out on the drive and then I went fishing and caught the biggest croppy out of their little pond. We had such a great time. Daddy and Julia watched us as several of us in the family (nephews and my brother) were all fishing cathing perch, croppy and even a small mouth bass out of the pond. My uncle was surprised there were so many fish in that there pond. Fun.

I let the bunnies go in the woods at my uncles place. I'll post pictures of how big they got. Only two survived, but at least I was able to save two instead of none. The bunnies will love it in the woods.

I had no fun Sunday night, Monday and today. I was home sick with bad tummy issues. I called the doc today to see if there was anything I could do besides immodium and they said nope unless I had a fever, which I did not. Ick. Not the fun way to lose 5 lbs. This PCOS ridden body of my won't let me lose 5 lbs normally so I am taking all I can get. Just not the fun way to lose them there lbs. ha


Ok, off to bed. I promise, more pictures tomorrow.

I know there are milestones I am forgetting for Ms. Julia so I'll post them later when I remember them. Bah

Sleep well. I sure am going to with the window fans in action tonight. A great night to sleep under the warm blankets while the fans are blowing cool air around. ahhhhh, sweet spring weather. (I know in a few weeks time I'll be complaining about having to turn on the air conditioner so I'll bask in the cool chill of the night from the window fans for now).

Wordless Wednesday...... a little late

Our Stimulous check at work, stimulating the economy the baby way

I have to say that this stimulus check is at work as Bush wants it to be. We stimulated the economy by buying Julia a new "convertible" car seat. We bought a britax marathon in onyx.

I know, you all might say, why spend so much (we didn't pay as much as what my link to amazon shows!!!! but we did get it on amazon last night for much cheaper). This is what we decided on and I have no qualms about it. Our daughter will be safe. I work for a car insurance company so they insist on using new car seats. I believe in this so we researched and bought new. You never know what you will be getting from a used car seat from somebody these days. You can check recalls online, but you will never know if that seat has been in a vehicle involved in an accident. I will not compromise the life of our child by buying used.

Julia is around 16.5 lbs (or maybe more now since I have not weighed her in a week) and she is growing so long I can't even keep count of how many inches she is now. Maybe 27" or maybe just over 27" and she is not even 7.5 months old yet. Her feet stick out over the end of the baby seat she is in now by about 2". I think once she hits 18 lbs we will put the new carseat in my vehicle (DH will get the cosco brand of seat for his truck.). It will face the rear of my little Tribute, but I know it is only a few short months before she can ride facing forward.

This little girl is growing up too fast, but I love watching it happen.

Today we visited a local blogger to pick up some avon and shop her yard sale. It was fun meeting her in person. Sorry we missed her daughter. Julia was wide awake and was wanting to play. hehe Maybe we can meet up at the Zoo or Shaw's Garden soon. I hate not being off during the week because I seem to miss all the places in town that have free events/admission for kids!

While hitting yard sales today, I had so many compliments on Julia's eyes. She has radiant blue eyes that look so cool in the sunshine. So many people said they love her eyes. I do too. When Julia heard them talking to her, she turned around (I had my home made ultimate wrap on) and looked at me for approval to smile back at those people. She was so cute. I find more and more that she mimics what we do. If I grunt, she grunts. If I say "where's dada", she says dada. When I gently slap my open hand on the table in a pattern, she does the same to that beat of mine. here is a recent pic of those pretty blue eyes.


Talking about these things makes my day. It all makes sense now, this is the way life is suppose to be, a big happy family of 3.

Happy Mother's day to me and all you mom's out there.

we need to make weekends longer for the working folk

See, by time I go to dinner or a Cardinals vs. Cubs game like last night and then do some yard sales today along with meeting up with a bunch of other mothers and kiddo's from our former infertility support group, my weekend is virtually over.

I'll post a picture or two of Julia's first trip to the Cardinals game. She got to see them play against the Chicago Cubs. She was so good. I used my homemade moby wrap (thanks mom) to carry her and she loved it. She got to face out to the crowd and just had a good time checking everything and everyone out. Welcome to a true St. Louis Cardinals Fan.

The bunnies (4) are all doing ok. I finally found the heating pad to put under the cage and it has really helped with keeping them nice and snuggled warm.

Today we are heading to the Mehlville baby mania sale with my sister, mom, aunt and Julia. FUN.

Then we are meeting up with the group of friends I mentioned above. So much fun. We are going to Faust Park in Chesterfield MO. Never been there. I can't wait. I'll be sure to take a few pictures of Ms. Julia.

Oh, her newest trick, Waving and saying bye-bye. I haven't got it on film yet, but I promise I will. She is so quick to learn these things.

ok, off to baby mania

what it all means... Joy, emotions, tears and love part 2

Today is one day closer to the finalization hearing at the courts on Wednesday to complete J's adoption(just over 6 months after birth). I am nervous, scared, excited and feeling overwhelmed, expecially for J's birthmother. I know she knows the finalization is this week so I wonder how she is dealing with her emotions of this all. I want to go hug her right now. Whisper in hear ear "Thank you for a miracle and blessing, We all love you so much for making your adoption for J with us". I know she knows we love her, but I just don't want her to feel alone this week. I want her to know we are always here for her.

We invited both of our mom's to the court room for the hearing and pictures after with the judge. I am sad that the judge that we had for J's birthmother terminations rights will not be doing our case. He was so kind and said he can't wait to see us at 6 months to do the finalization. I know we will still enjoy having the judge we do get. I do plan on having the camera charged up and ready to go for J's memory book. I want to celebrate, yet I will be so emotional. I just know it. I actually came in the house from work yesterday and saw that DH was red eyed. He was nearly in tears while holding J. I asked him what was wrong and he said he was just getting very emotional about her finalization coming up. It really touched my heart. I know men don't always express how they are feeling, but he has been so wonderful in letting me in on how he feels about J in our lives and her adoption process. I'll keep you posted for Wednesday's hearing.

Julia, your growing so fast. even from my post on Friday, you have started doing the following. You are now doing what I call a scoot crawl. You manage to cruise the floor every possible way, sideways, rolling, pushing yourself forward and backwards. You get pissy when you back yourself up against the chair or couch side or table legs. You won't let us leave the room without throwing a hissy fit. You tried vanilla yogurt for the first time today. Your eating is crappy right now. I wonder if you are ready to pop a tooth. I keep feeling for them, but you refuse to let either daddy or I get in there to check. We had to lower your crib mattress. You managed to start to pull yourself up on the rail and eat the railing. Body 1/2 up to the rail height so tonight daddy lowered your mattress all the way down and we just lowered the rail one position down so you are not soo far down. Before you know it, you will be standing up so this works. You like to drag the palm of your hand across the wood floor and make funny noises. You love to jabber while looking at me from the floor you are cruising. SLOW DOWN GIRL, you are growing way too fast.

it is still melting my heart hearing her say mama when I leave the room or when she is tired. sigh.. I LOVE IT. Her arms go up in the air when we approach her to pick her up.

Birthmother visit and letter writing.

In an open adoption, adoptive parents and the birthparents can tend to agree to open terms (not written terms ) of when visits can happen by either party or when letters and pictures can or will be sent. So today, after a near 3 month no contact time frame) we met up with Julia's birthmother at her friends house. We also got to see Julia's two birth siblings, her birthgrandma and the friends and their daughter who hosted the gathering. We all had so much fun.

A week ago, we knew we would be meeting up with all of them and I felt a little nervous about it, but today I was not nervous at all. More curious of how things would play out this whole evening. They went better than expected and lots of pictures were taken. (For Privacy reasons, I won't post those pictures on here.) I will always cherish these moments and pictures as we can tell Julia as she grows up who each of them are and how much they mean to her and DH & I. This gift Julia's birthmother gave us the best gift any couple could ask for in their dreams of being able to become parents. Especially after 5 miscarriages, two ectopic pregnancies and many heartaches throughout the 8 years of infertility and losses.

What a joy adoption can be and is for us. Julia's birthmother made the most unselfish decision to make an adoption plan for Julia and we were blessed to have been the couple she selected and felt would be able to care for and raise Julia to the best of our ability. That was not an option for Julia's mother at that time in her life while pregnant with her and up to delivery. But she reaffirmed this belief and feeling with us tonight when she hugged us goodnight and said she was so thankful for us in her life. I whispered back into her ear that we are so thankful for her in our lives too. Sometimes that frequency of seeing each other can be months away, but we know she thinks about Julia every day and night. I know she talkes to her kids about Julia and us and how we are able to provide Julia with a great home to grow up in. It is amazing how loving the birthsiblings are with Julia too. We got some good bonding time with them both and really enjoyed catching up on how they are doing with school and such. They are so beautiful and we are so lucky to have them in our lives to share with the milestones of Julia's growth.

Today I sat down and wrote our second letter to Julia's birthmother(bm). I wanted to do this a month ago, but with being sick I slacked off a little. Julia's bm did not mind it being late and was actually very thankful for me having brought the letter along with 15 or so pictures to give to her directly. Last time I wrote the letter was when Julia was 2 months old. We had not talked to her(bm) for a while so I had sent the letter off to the agency to send it to her when she was ready emotionally to handle reading it and seeing the pictures. This was during a time when we did not converse or see her in person for a while. I did not want to make her wait for the agency to contact her to see if she was ready for the letter and pictures so I brought them with us tonight and gave them to her. They LOVED the pictures and she said she would save the letter for later to read in private. I totally respect her decision for doing that because I think it might make her a bit emotional reading about Julia's milestones in the last few months and felt she did not want to break down in front of everyone there.

I'll make sure I keep on top of the letter writing starting tomorrow until the end of the next two months. I'll have lots of updates for her and many milestones Julia is meeting and surpassing. It will be fun to journal them into her letter as they happen. That is my goal, to keep up on top of the writing as it happens. LOL Good luck, right?

I have these letters saved on flash drive and also copied what pictures I sent with the letter (didn't do that for the first letter and now I regret it. ). So this letter covered Thanksgiving, day after Turkey day doctors appointment, December milestones, Christmas update and her January milestones and updates. So the next letter will involve her first ever Valentines Day, First St. Patty's day celebration and parade in dogtown (I took a day of vacation in hopes that the weather is nice and she and I can go to the parade together), Easter and then court finalization in April. Oh and our first SPring 2008 camping trips.

I am glad that Julia's bm enjoys getting these updates. We are so thankful for her gift of Life in Julia and we can only begin to help return the rewards by sharing Julia's life feats with her. Thank Goodness for our connection. Thanks to Crissy for introducing us to this situation of adoption. And thanks to our agency, A Gift of Hope Adoptions for helping our birthmother through the rough times and us through the new experiences.

Another note is that we mentioned tonight that DH and I want to adopt again and we hoped it would happen in the next 5 years or so, but DH and I decided (more dh than me) last night that we would want to do that quicker than 5 years from now. More like 2 if we can find the means of funding another attempt to grow our family. Everyone was excited for us too. They know now that we want Julia to have a sister or brother and to make our family a family of 4. Ahhhh, amazing to feel that joy!

Now I need to go start the process of planning Julia's Forever Family Day celebration party for after her finalization in mid-April.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I want to share this with others that might still be in the process of adopting for the sake that if they choose open adoption, it can be a great sense of Joy with the amount of openness we have with our birthmother situation.


We are a family of 3, but we have such an extended family. Yes, we inherited an extended family with Julia's adoption and we welcome that through the rest of our lives. What a pure blessing. They are all family no matter who and how we got there.

peek-a-boo

scan done now I wait

ahhh, don't you like it when you have to wait for medical test results? The tech told me today it would be 2 business days b4 my scans get to my GI docs office. Ok, so if I don't hear from them by Tuesday, I;ll call them.

that scan reminded me in so many ways all the scans and procedures I had while going through all the infertility diagnostic steps to find out what was wrong with me and even the feeling of laying on the table (no, no stirrups were needed today) full glory hanging out for egg retrievals. Fun. Ask me about that if you want more details.

I got out of the scan in not so much pain, but more dull pain and a mean freaking headache from not eating from 5 am until 2:30 pm . tylenol is my buddy.

Ok a busy weekend ahead. I hope to bring you more of some sweet julia sweetheart pictures.

Like this one:

hidascan

I have a hidascan today to test my gall bladder to see if it the cause of my hospitalization this past week. I will hopefully post later this evening after the procedure, if not, well then I might be in surgery having it taken out if it is bad. Wish me the first option please!

I was told originally to not eat after midnight last night, but I called to confirm a few things about the test yesterday and the tech told me I could eat or drink up until 7 am this morning. Well, I had toast around 5 am so I hope that is ok. I could not fathom not eating from midnight until 1 pm this afternoon. I would have been passed out on the deck of the scanning machine and have a nasty headache to boot. I am so glad I called to confirm this and a also to find out where I had to go. The tech was a little nasty with me on the phone for not knowing these things, but I told her the doc nor the nurse told me what to do. People, come on.. that is why I called you to confirm. Biotch.

Ok, on a better note. DH got me a new palm pilot for xmas. I can't wait to get the thing set up, but for some odd reason my poor old decrepit Dell desktop is fighting me tooth and nail to get this synced up or even letting me install a new version over the old one. I WILL WIN THIS BATTLE Mr. Palm Pilot. Yes. I call it a Mister because men are stubborn and this palm is acting just like that. Ha

On the note of children, my daughter has learned how to full out giggle so hard she snorted last night. LOL

She also started eating apple sauce. She is not sure if she likes it or not, but I mixed it in with her cereal and she is doing ok with it so far. I can't wait to see how big she is on the scale at the docs next week. I know she is super long. Is 25 inches tall/long HUGE for the age of 4 months?